Learn To Trust Yourself
by Twigman242
Summary: Howard "Hiccup" Haddock is off to university. He's starting completely from scratch, no friends, no links. No nothing. M for language and future violence and I may smuttify it depending on how confident I am with doing that. Hiccstrid, characters are RTTE age (17/18).
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **PROLOGUE**

"My name is Howard "Hiccup" Haddock. I am 18 years old with serious self esteem issues, more medical problems than you can shake a stick at and absolutely no way of stopping everything I set my sights on, going wrong. The phrase; "everything that can go wrong, will go wrong"… well simply put it seems that I define the phrase. One last thing before I go, talking to myself in the mirror feels like a damned stupid idea."

I sighed as I left the bathroom and entered my bedroom next to it for the last time for the foreseeable. I was leaving for university today, and not for some high end university which needs you to be a genius from the age of three to attend. No, I'd barely scraped into a foundation year way up in the north somewhere, "turning over a new leaf", as mum keeps saying. It's one of her more annoying phrases but I've never had the heart (or the balls) to say that to her.

"You've packed everything haven't you Hiccup! We're not doing a 500 mile round trip next week because you forgot your undies!"

That's mums voice calling upstairs to me. I swear to whatever gods are out there that if she takes a day off housework (she never stops, not even on weekends) then the country would fall. I always wonder how the house functioned when she had a proper job, now that she doesn't go out to work anymore there's always something else to clean or gardening to be done. Regardless she actually did most of the packing for me, so if anythings been forgotten it's more likely to be her fault than mine.

"I'm pretty sure you packed those yourself mum, alongside everything else!" I yelled back downstairs to her. Not hearing a reply, I hefted my day sack over my shoulder and took one last look around my room just in case I had actually missed anything obvious. There was my already bare bed to my left, the wall sockets next to it devoid of any chargers or plugs. At the foot of it was my main storage space. It was a bit of furniture out of Ikea which had 2x4 slots in it and some boxes used to store stuff. Nothing to see here either. Finally I looked at my desk and couldn't help feeling sorry for the object lying on top of it. Externally she looked like a normal computer. Fairly small though, 3.5" wide, 13 long and 11 tall. Except she'd been gutted, she'd served me well for years now. It was now bare except for the power supply, I was hoping to build a new one from some of the parts at university over the approximate 5 years I'd be there.

I let loose a loud groan. 5 years! What was I even thinking! To study aircraft engineering and use it as leverage to join the air force as an engineer…pah! That wasn't going to happen now…

"HICCUP COME ON, I'VE GOT TO MAKE SPACE FOR THE ONE I'M LETTING YOUR ROOM TO!" Came a sudden and thunderous voice up the staircase. That is dad now getting on my case. Still trying to be funny and still failing to do so. There's got to be something weird about a man who's large enough to bench press the family car, but is constantly cracking bad jokes and wouldn't harm a fly unless his family and friends were being threatened. Not that that's a bad thing I suppose.

"Alright, coming down now!" I shout over my shoulder out the door. Looking back into my room now and slowly backing out of it I whisper; "well see you around bedroom, it's been nice-HOLY MOTHER OF-" There was suddenly something solid behind me where there shouldn't be anything solid.

"Saying yer final words are we lad?" I'd leapt forwards and spun round quicker than anyone would have thought possible with my tall, gangly and distinctly muscle-lacking build. "Hahaha!" The wall cackled in deep amusement, "it gets you every time!"

"Gobber I wish you wouldn't just creep up on me like that! Its weird how you move without making a sound when you make so much of it at the smith! Or do you just make loads of noise there to make up for the lack of sound you make here?"

"Whoah calm down laddie, I'm just here to check you've not left anything."

"Great" I roll my eyes, "because clearly everybody in this house has vast amounts of trust in my ability to look for things."

"Right because clearly we trust things like this to the half blind members of the household, right Hiccup?" Gobber responds with a dry tone.

"Gobber, I have my lenses in you know, hence why I've not walked into any walls yet" comes the automatically sarcastic reply from me.

At this point Gobber is crawling along my floor as though I'd managed to miss an item in amongst my carpet. "Ye'd best be careful with this sarcasm habit ya've got Hiccup, we're ok with it here (I snort at this) but not everyone enjoys this way of life."

"Have you finished checking my carpet fibres for anything smaller than a grain of rice that I may have missed…?" I ask in an enquiring tone.

Bolting upright and standing up; "right, we're done here boy. Lets get downstairs before yer dad goes redder than the red death…"

With me huffing slightly, we make our way downstairs where mum and dad are just standing in the hallway, talking quietly to each other, dad towering over mum by at least an entire head, and she's not exactly small either. Gobber and myself get noticed at the bottom of the staircase and mum breaks the conversation she's having and walks towards me with open arms, with dad quickly interjecting; "'Bout time son! Beginning to think you'd gotten lost in amongst that computer you labour over so much."

"Well let's be honest here, it's not like anyone would really miss all of this (gesturing to all of me) if I got lost inside that thing would they?"

"Shush you!" And here comes the light backhand to the head from mum. "Don't talk like that"

"Val, would you mind letting go of him now, we need to get going. Traffic is still a thing" dad says, almost bored now.

"I will not be seeing my son for months on end, forgive me if I'm making up for lost time now!"

"Mum please, struggling to breath here…" I say, waving my arms about behind mother so as to prove a point."

She releases me quickly and looking hurt sharply says; "okay okay I give in, everyone been to the toilet then?"

"'Ah won' need a toilet fer a month once this is over" Gobber says quiet enough so that only I can hear, "Neve sin yer mum this worried."

Sensing an opportune moment to go and sit in the car to get away from everyone, I make a feeling for the front door and open the car on the right side behind the drivers seat (1). The Citroen people carrier is packed full of bags and unbuilt Ikea furniture, barely enough space left for dad and Gobber.

It's another couple of minutes before everyone else gets into the car. I check my phone, 97%. "Bloody thing" I mutter. "Unplugged for less than 5 minutes."

Dad gets into the drivers seat in front of me, Gobber to my left and mum in front of him. It's a quick affair, as I'm the only one with any real amount of kit to carry.

"All right last call for forgotten items and toilet"

"Mum for at least the tenth time now, I'm packed and I'm pretty sure the bathroom is sick of seeing us today"

"Right then. Lets go!" Dad roars, resulting in mum hitting him in the head and scalding him for startling her.

So. I'm actually off to university.

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(1) - I'm English, so I'm going to be using English cars and laws.

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So the other story I've started! I'm releasing this chapter with the first one from the Metroid universe. Is this chapter too short? Too detailed? Boring even? Let me know and I'll (attempt to) do better in later chapters!


	2. Chapter 2 - Arrival

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 2 - ARRIVAL**

 **A/N - Thank you for all the reading and reviewing people! It really makes me feel happy that I can make other people happy!**

 **Lightning Claw's Shadow - Thank you very much, I was struggling for length with this the prologue anyway.**

 **Flopi216 - I'm glad you like it, I hope the next one is good too!**

 **Anon - Well, I'm trying not to use any place names or organisations that reference the UK so you can imagine it as your own place (I'm envisioning a very large Berk myself). But yes, ultimately as I live here and don't know very much about other air force structures in comparison to the RAF I will be referencing them (but not by name).**

 **Jalesa - Your wish is my command! Don't expect updates as regularly as this though!**

 **Onwards!**

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The journey was…long. And tedious. Despite his size, Gobber required several toilet breaks. Why his body doesn't make a larger bladder instead of a larger belly is beyond me. This angered mum no end, constantly muttering that heh should stop drinking copious amounts of beer and maybe he should have had a proper toilet before leaving…

So I'm finally here. University. First things first, get all my bags upstairs and get the rest of the family away before mum breaks down into tears or dad and Gobber find a girl and try and get us talking. Heaven forbid if that happens again.

The accommodation I have is pretty decent from a location and appearance standpoint. It's a 5 minute walk to the engineering department and I get my own room (either I'm going to complain that they snore or they'll complain that I snore). Second floor (1) though, things could get dicey if I'm in a rush for a lecture.

Dad takes us to the car park next to the main reception, which in itself is in front of the engineering blocks and to the left of the apartments. It's mid afternoon, which by the looks of things means that most of the new year is here as well. Theres a massive queue leading out of the reception, and we've just joined the back of it.

"So guys erm, if you want to go and leave this with me I'll be fine?" I ask hopefully when we're at the back of the queue. Maybe if I wish enough they'll go and not embarrass me…

"Oh and you're going to carry all this (notations to 2 suitcases, flat packed Ikea chair and desk and a large open box full of random electronics) up two flights of stairs before this time next week now son?" dad booms.

Great. Exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Peoples heads turning to the direction of my fathers booming voice. Why can he never be quiet?

"Now Hiccup, yer mother also needs 'nother couple of hours wit' ye yet."

"Fine fine fine! I take the statement back!"

I huff to myself and take a look around, may as well get used to these settings, I'm (hopefully) here for the next 5 years. Mum and dad have decided that now is the perfect time to have a domestic, and Gobber is also looking around, but for the pub I think.

Behind us another couple of families have joined, regular looking so I don't pay them much attention. Turning around away from them and my family is the queue in front. Easily well over a hundred people before we even enter the reception. This is going to be a long wait.

Not too long later (I'm too scared to look at my phone and see how much battery I've lost) and we're actually walking into the front building. Good Gods every passing second and I'm getting closer to my first lecture…URGH.

Theres a wall to my left now and the reception in front. To the right of that there are two hallways, one going straight on and another going right.

A bright blond haired girl finishes in front and moves to the right, out of the queue. I pick up my box of electrics and leave the suitcases to the others as we move forward a couple of paces. My eyes are drawn to this blond girl for some reason, I don't even know what her face looks like yet I really want her to turn this way. Theres a single braid draped over her left shoulder which I think looks utterly gorgeous.

"So then son. Already eying up the girls?" dad says, actually quiet which shocks me more than him actually noticing that I'm looking at a girl.

I spin round and look at him. "Did mum threaten you with the frying pan or something? Because I swear this is the first time you've said something without trying to embarrass me in public."

He looks solemn when he next speaks; "Nay Hiccup, this time it was the meatballs."

I wince. That was not an idle threat. Mums cooking could kill more beasts than a battle-axe.

Turning back to the mysterious blond I feel my heart do a double take when she's picking up a suitcase. Two men who I perceive to be her father and brother - actually he looks too old to be her brother so perhaps an uncle? - each also take a suitcase while her mother stands there, almost stone-faced.

She scans her surroundings, as if looking for something, looking up and down the short line of people before looking at me.

We lock eyes, and she appears to squint slightly as if to acknowledge my standing there. The moment is over too soon though, as the girl breaks the lock and turns to walk forwards down the corridor to…the engineering department? Thats not right surely? I rack my brains before I realise that a university of this size wouldn't only offer engineering courses, there must be some sport or animal care or english based degrees here? In all honesty when I received a prospectus from any university I ignored everything except the aerospace engineering sections. Why would she be going there though and not right towards the apartments?

Theres a loud "Whoop!" from behind me. I turn and see that it's a guy from the family directly behind us. He's a few inches shorter than me, but more than compensates for it with the amount of muscle on him. "Father you saw that, that hottie looking at _me_."

He looks incredibly smug and proud of himself. What annoys me most though is that I may have been mistaken. She may not have been looking at me, but him instead. My stomach feels like it's caving in. Damn.

"Steven, for the last time I am _not_ interested in any relationships you think you might be able to get into." Comes scathing from his father. Equally muscly and sounding awkwardly like the Tenth Doctor (2). However, his son either doesn't hear him or simply doesn't care, I'm more guessing the latter.

Before I turn away with a panging sadness in the pit of my stomach, I get noticed that I'm staring at Steven.

"Staring at something mate!? Don't tell me you think that chick was giving you a looking? How about I plant a fist in your face and then we'll see if you can ever attract a woman."

His instant aggression startles me. I'm not a stranger to hatred or violence but we've never even met before and here he is threatening to absolutely flatten me. Before I realise that my knees are slightly bent and feet spaced apart in a sparing stance, dad has marched up to Steven, and comparing the two is like comparing a mountain to an ant.

Something people should know about my dad. He is _not_ one you want to mess around with. 22 years in the army, veteran of several wars, seen things that have broken fully grown men. He does _not_ deal with crap like this.

Leaning down and getting close to Steven; "Listen here _boy_." Dads voice was quiet and all the more terrifying because of it. "I'm going to give you one warning and one warning only; don't throw your weight around here, this is not home anymore, you do not live under your mothers umbrella here. In the open world there is always a bigger fish and at the minute I am that fish. Is. Everything. Clear?"

I marvel at how dad has managed to keep this low level for me, only the family in front and behind us have taken notice to the unfolding drama. Steven looks ready to murder, however.

"Crystal."

Dad then draws up to his full height and with a massive grin on his face, claps his hand onto Steven's shoulder. From the grimacing look on his face, dad is clearly putting weight on the guy.

"Glad we got that sorted! Now run along, daddy looks like he wants a few words with you." Oh he sounded so happy, it was unnerving how much he was enjoying this.

We all take a look at the guy's father, who looks utterly seething with venom at Steven, who proceeds to take a nervous gulp. My previously dank mood lifts a fair bit at this scene.

I take the opportunity to take a look at how much longer we have to go before signing in, as it turns out, we're next now. The reception is flying here.

Turning back again, mum is giving dad a proud look, though whether it's for squashing Steven or keeping it low profile is unknown to me. And Gobber is still looking at him like its just another day in the office.

"Next please!" comes the soft voice of the receptionist. We walk over with all my stuff, and I pull out all the documents I need to affirm my place; the course offer letter and my provisional drivers license (can't be bothered to get lessons, I won't be needing a car/can't park here anyway even if I did have a car). I take a good look at the receptionist while she's putting my details into the computer in front of her. About a full head shorter than me, jet black hair and green eyes. Although a less potent green than mine. I read the label on her ID badge; 'Heather Rubush'.

Heather holds my letter and ID out to me. She stutters while beginning to say something and hesitates. She quickly recovers however and when I accept my things I am told; "take the corridor to the right towards the apartments, the path is labelled. You're in Echo building, second floor, room 3. There will be other volunteer students who will be able to answer any questions along the way or at the end. Enjoy yourself Howard." She gives me a smile at the end of what sounds like a very repeated paragraph, yet I've got a feeling that she doesn't tell anyone else the last three words.

"Right, thank you very much" I nod and smile back.

We all move right so as to make way for Steven's family and so I can put my things away, which doesn't take long.

"All set Howard?" mum asks, with a weak smile. I think she's going to have a full on breakdown later today when they're travelling home.

"All set mum. Lets get this dropped off at my room, I can unpack later."

She nods at me, smile not getting any stronger. Before we set off I take another look down the corridor in the direction of engineering, on the off chance that the blond girl is somewhere down it.

She isn't.

I quickly move on before any of my family (Gobber's family, right?) notice my lingering gaze.

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(1) - Ground, then first, then second floor

(2) - Spitelout is in fact voiced by David Tennant :P

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Chapter 2 done ladies and gents! I hope it was up to par and expectations :) As I put up top, the updates won't always be this frequent as my life moves forwards starting on the 21st of September.


	3. Ch3 - Im Sure Theres More To It Than Tat

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 3 - I'M SURE THERES MORE TO IT THAN THAT**

 **Enjoy!**

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We've visited this university once before, so we know what the student blocks looked like when we got there (if you were stupid enough to ignore all the signs then you really shouldn't be at a university for study).

They were tall and grey concrete, like something out of the 90's. Alpha block through Hotel, so eight in all and using NATO standard phonetic alphabet as a naming scheme. Overall, thoroughly boring.

Echo block was on the south side, with two blocks to a side and a small grassy area in the middle with a couple of benches and a bin. Outside each building were a couple of student volunteers to make sure we had the right block.

"Hello and welcome to Echo block!" Exclaimed the very enthusiastic male student (label reading Jim) from the pair waiting outside. "I assume you know which floor you're going to?"

"He's off to the second floor" dad says before I can, clapping his hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

"Alrighty! Go on through, mind your heads (specifically aimed at dad). You'll have to take the stairs I'm afraid, the lifts are kind of ever so slightly broken…"

"Now see 'ere young 'un!" Gobber says waving his arms around, "tha' lift either is or it isn't broken! No in the middle!"

His grumpy, mute and gothic female companion decided to let loose a giggle at this point, and Jim all of a sudden looks like he's going to die. I mean come on, how scary can a one arm and legged man with a blond moustache that drapes along the floor possibly be? I turn and look at him. Nah. He's harmless.

"T…The…The lift is broken!" he stammers out. Honestly what is wrong with him all of a sudden? "I'll hold the door for you as you go in!"

I just shrug my shoulders and walk in first. I wasn't going to put too much thought into it. "Thanks" I say to Jim as I slide past with my rucksack and box.

Mum comes right behind me, followed by dad dragging one suitcase and Gobber with the other.

The stairs are right in front of me behind a fire door, with two lifts to the right and one of the outer walls to the left (on the other side of it is Foxtrot block). The outside clearly betrays the look of the interior which has a very modern design. White stone wall and a wooden floor (likely veneer, I'll need to check later though as it's very convincing) with a mellow lighting.

"I think you've gotten lucky with this place son" dad says, showing his approval. Only mum and myself came to view, dad was working away from home and Gobber was making wrought iron in the smith at the time.

"You can thank me later Howard" mum says to me. I turn to her and give a lopsided grin. It is true, she _did_ do most of the heavy lifting when it came to sorting me out for university.

"Thank you mum. Could you grab the door please, my hands are kind of otherwise engaged."

I lead the way up the stairs, dad decided to hold the door for mum so she's still second in line, followed by Gobber and then dad. The walk up doesn't take long, and we meet a couple of guys and a girl who are already settled in on the way. Seeing the woman makes me remember that I'm in mixed gender accommodation. My heart flutters as I might get to see blond again.

We walk through the door on the second floor to a sort of "common room", if you will. In the centre was a large granite topped workstation, flanked on the left and right by a couch and kitchen area respectively. The couch was apart of a set meant to seat 4 people, as such they were facing a large flatscreen telly, mounted to the wall. Again the wooden floor extends up here, but only for the kitchen area, the lounge has a plush carpet. At the far end is 4 doors, which I'm assuming is where the individual rooms are, as there aren't any other doors in this room barring the one we've all just come through.

I put my box on the central workstation and walk over to the doors. Logically room 3 would be one of the middle two, and for my slight OCD issues, hopefully it would be the third from the left. To my relief, it is. The number 3 is engraved into the door. Odin's Beard the university spent a lot on money on their student accommodation, however I suppose thats given, it was either have the more expensive on-site place of stay or the cheaper off-campus accommodation. I'm splitting half of the fee with mum and dad, my student loan taking care of my half.

Leaving everyone else to a conversation they've started outside, I open the unlocked door. Inside is just how I remember seeing it last time. Theres a cupboard to my right and a desk in front of that. To the desks left (and my front) is a standard twin bed (1) with a window above it. Finally theres a chest of drawers to my left.

I walk over to the bed and dump my rucksack on it. I then notice there's a pair of keys and a letter addressed to me on the desk. Using a key as a letter opener, I find a timetable and welcome letter inside. The letter is virtually a repeat of the last 3 I've had delivered, term starts on Monday next week (today is Saturday) and there's an induction type thing on the same day for engineering students at 0900…yep moving on.

The timetable is what worries me a bit. I mean everyone would love to have late starts every day and then free time at the weekend but come on, is anyone actually that lucky?

I'm getting a regular 5 day week in the foundation year (moving up to 6 next year…what am I letting myself in for…) so it can't be any worse than regular school hours, I figure.

Right, so I've got late starts Mondays and Thursdays at 10:30, thats a good opening. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday are all start at 08:50 and all days end at 15:45 except for Wednesday at 17:30. With a few hours here and there of free time over the days, "Not too bad" I think to myself. Probably best check everyone is still outside and haven't wandered off.

Outside something seems a little different. Wait a second, theres 4 people here now, didn't I only come in with 3 others? It appears the new addition is somewhat tall, _very_ round (and thats being conservative) and short, blond hair.

"Howard!" dad booms across the room to me when I enter, I notice the other guy shirks a bit at the noise, "come over here and meet Isaac!" Great. Loud and obnoxious dad is back.

"Howard, Isaac, Isaac, Howard." Dad introduces us like we're going to be acquaintances rather than flatmates. "Says he's going for a PhD in, what was it you said?"

"Um, Mathematics and Theoretical Physics!" Isaac squeaks, he's clearly uncomfortable with a ginger-bearded mountain on one side and a fellow with interchangeable hands and a peg leg on the other.

"Thats the one! You can just go to him if you've any trouble with your sums!"

"With respect sir, I believe that aerospace calculations use different equations and margins of error than we would be using. Not to mention that at this point in time I am just starting out too…" he trails off, I believe not wanting to anger the man to his front.

Dad takes a breath before saying, "Anyway, I'm sure you'll get on fine with each other, engineering and maths and physics (2)."

"We think 'Iccup tha' since theres already someone 'ere fer ye ta talk to, we should go. Before errr…well, that happens." He notations to mum, who has turned on the water works.

"Oh mum…" I go over and hug her. Gobber and Isaac remaining mute while dad just looks at his watch. Always in a rush.

"I'll be fine mum, really. I'm not going to get sucked into a jet engine or impaled on a drill…" The sarcasm is clearly not appreciated at this moment so I drop it there and then.

"Promise…promise me you'll stay safe Howard. You're my only son and you've flown the nest."

"Mum honestly, this isn't dad in the army again. It's university. I'm honestly far more concerned that Gobber regularly does work in the smith drunk or with a couple of pints in his tankard attachment."

"Yes but I don't care about what Gobber does, I care about you."

"Oi! I 'erd tha'!"

Dad interjects at this point, softly saying; "Come on Val, best leave the boy to it. We also have one heck of a long journey back."

Mum releases me and latches on to dad now. I take a step back and see mum is completely ashen faced. She's one of, if not, _the_ strongest willed woman I know. She just has a weak spot for me.

Dad looks at me and I give him a nod.

"Good luck son."

"Thank you dad. Safe trip home."

"So 'Iccup, leaving me to myself in the smith?" Says Gobber, ruffling my hair.

"Well you see…"

"No matter, as long as yer back in the 'olidays. Tha' place ain't gonna run itself."

I grin and shrug my shoulders. Easy money I suppose.

Dad has slowly started leading mum out of the room to the stairs. She turns and looks at me, face red and streaked with tears. I give her a wave and she smiles a bit before burying her face back into dads chest and unleashing another flood.

Gobber holds the rear, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Plus one thousand relief!" sighs Isaac next to me. I'd forgotten he existed. "Your father scares the living daylights out of me."

"Well he does have that tendency…" I say, turning to face him.

"So." He holds his hand out, which I shake, "Isaac "Fishlegs" Ingerman."

"Howard Haddock" I reply, wondering if I should have given him my nickname.

Releasing our hands I see a sly grin flash briefly across his face before disappearing. "I'm sure there's more to it than that."

This time its my turn to have the cunning look, "Hiccup. You can call me Hiccup."

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(1) - A standard bed, don't mix it up for a queen or king sized bed, this is designed for one person only!

(2) - I don't think many of you hold degrees in engineering/maths/physics, so I'll try and keep the terms to a minimum. Any I do use I will explain at the bottom here. If there's enough terms, I may put an index at the end. If I get anything wrong, bear with me! I'm in Hiccup's shoes at the minute! (or is he in mine!?)

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I thought this chapter was a bit slower than the others, but I wanted to get several things out of the way here than have to explain them in future chapters (such as the look of the block and Hiccup's timetable).


	4. Chapter 4 - Day One

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 4 - DAY ONE**

 **Sorry people! Where I put that the people were HTTYD2 age, I realised that being 20 would have made them all a bit old, so I've changed it to them being RTTE age (18 y/o). Really sorry if you had built up a mental image of them this way :-(**

 **I also hope this makes up for the somewhat terrible previous chapter.**

 **Onwards!**

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It's late night now. Isaac, sorry, _Fishlegs_ (what an odd name…) and myself are sitting on the main couch with the telly on low volume. My bags have been moved into my room. Fishlegs it seems has been here since early morning, his parents rather keen to get rid of him. A 'personality conflict' between them he claims.

We are just breaching on the topic of girlfriends (ohhhh boy) when the door violently opens. Up until this point, both Fishlegs and myself are alone in our part of the flat. We both look over to the door to see who our new roommate is, and my heart drops faster then a rock. Steven has just bundled in with all his bags.

I shrink back a bit into the chair, maybe hoping I can melt into it. Fishlegs on the other hand stands up and says; "Nice of you to drop in."

He looks up at Fishlegs and says "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise I had to wait for your permission in order to enter, I thought I had the freedom to come and go as I please to where I'm living!", all in one breath. This is when Steven rotates his head slightly to look at me and then his shoulders drop in irritation.

"Oh look, if it isn't useless, hiding behind the sofa this time instead of his father."

Standing up myself this time, so as not to appear cowardly (seriously, I'm attempting to look intimidating!?) I attempt to change the subject by asking him "What took you so long? You were right behind us in the queue yet you turned up here hours later?"

This plan however, blew up in my face. Steven smirked, "Oh I went and followed that beaut from earlier, I'm sure you remember her."

My jaw clenches and I can feel my hands balling into fists. Fishlegs is just standing there without a clue about what is going on.

"Yeah, she's playing hard to get, floored me twice but I'll win this game."

I turn and sit back down as I roll my eyes. Evidently Steven has his head so far up his arse that he can't see that if he's being floored already then she really doesn't like him. Or maybe he's telling the truth and she's messing with him? Really though, I shouldn't be getting het up over someone who I don't even know, let alone if they would like me or not.

I hear Steven snort in victory, before he hauls his bags over to the doors at the opposite end of the room and enter one of the rooms, didn't see which one. Fishlegs finally sits down himself and just stares at me, while I in turn am staring at the telly on the wall. This has gotten very awkward very quickly.

"So uhhh…there something you need to share with me?"

After that, I wasn't in the mood for questions. "No. I'm going to bed, I need to sleep so see you tomorrow."

"All right then, just…don't let him or that girl get to your head", he said quietly, as if he know it was already happening.

I simply nodded and went to my room.

It didn't take long to fall into an uneasy sleep.

My alarm went off early next morning, which jerked me out of my dreams. 08:00, plenty of time to make sure I go to the right place. Not being a morning person, the first thing I do after putting some clothes is make a coffee. Oh the addiction is strong in my family. While waiting for the water to boil, I check my phone and find a couple of texts from mum, one last night and one this morning.

"Goodnight hun, hope you can sleep well on your first night" and "Good morning Howard, I hope your day will go ok."

My reply was shorter than I think she would have liked, but one of the reasons I went to university was to get away from her constant mothering and wrapping me up in cotton wool.

"Had a good nights sleep, just gotten up and first lesson is at 10:30. Talk later." I slide my phone into my back pocket, lean the back of my head on a kitchen cupboard and close my eyes. I would have fallen back asleep standing up (trust me, not advised) if the kettle hadn't whistled me back to reality. I grab the mug I brought with me, it had a couple of old propeller aircraft on, a gift from my grandparents.

Coffee powder in, milk on top, boiling water on top of that and how stressed am I feeling this morning? More than I should be, I decide. 4 sugars it is. Stir with…something not a spoon? I check the drawers. Nope, must be missing them because I'm not wearing my contact lenses. Handle of a fork it is.

I let loose a yawn before taking my first sip. I check my phone again for the time; 08:06. Perhaps I got up a little early?

I saunter back to my room and sit at the desk. Since I've not actually unpacked yet, thats probably the something I should do.

It doesn't take too long, suitcases transferred into drawers and the wardrobe, box unpacked and electronics set up. Finally I pull out some paper with pencil drawings on, and pin them to the pin board. When I get to the bottom one, I stare for a while. It's a drawing of a Night Fury, one of the Berkian Air Force's fighter jets. I've wanted to fly ever since I was a small child, specifically the Night Fury. Fastest aircraft we have and nigh on impossible to keep a hold on in a dogfight. Too bad I a tonne of medical conditions which prevent me from flying anything much more nimble than a lumbering passenger aircraft.

Letting loose one of my common sighs, I pin this to my board as well and have some more coffee before checking the time again. 08:49. Dang, still ages. I think I'll go and explore for a bit.

I take my bag with me so I don't have to come back. It's another few minutes I'm ready, as in breakfast eaten and contact lenses in. It is now gone nine in the morning and I don't think Fishlegs or Steven are even awake yet.

My wander takes me to the reception, notably the part where I went one way and Blond another. I notice a map on one of the walls and take a closer look.

I haven't explored the whole campus. Heck, I don't even know half of the courses they offer here. However as one of the biggest universities in Berk, it doesn't exactly surprise me when I find there are stables and farming fields, running tracks, mock law courts and even a couple of helipads. Everything orbits the _massive_ resource centre in the middle of campus, which is where I am supposed to be at 10:30.

Everything is colour coded too, Engineering is yellow, Resources is white and Agriculture (so animals and farming) is green. There are lines on the floor that you can follow to wherever you want to go, so I follow the white line and think that I'll decide where to go from there.

It doesn't take too long to get to Resources. The building is impressive to say the least, several floors high and several below ground too. It is white, dome shaped and constructed from metal and glass. I just hope there are computers strong enough to handle any heavy number crunching, my desktop can't do much even if it was in an assembled state and my laptop gets hot enough to boil water on.

I reach a signpost, with multiple arms coming off in several directions. I don't want to try the agriculture section because it may require traversing mud and the general classrooms would just be boring. In line with my aircraft obsession I head to the helipads to find…

…absolutely nothing. Maybe it was too much to ask for a Stormcutter to just be there. Then again it may be a little big, huge great thing with two sets of rotors.

Maybe I'll find the running track more interesting. If they don't have any rowing machines here then I may take up running instead. I don't have an asthma pump any more and my back doesn't inhibit movement, so I _should_ be fine.

The track appears to be a standard 400m loop, with two stands running parallel to each other down the lengths. At the time I get to it, looking down from the stands, there are a few people running. I guess they are doing this off of their own back because of the lack of cohesion between them. Some of them are being downright lazy by just walking around it, but one of them is flying around the track like she's only got one day left to live. I do a double take when I recognise the blond hair in a ponytail.

Well that wasn't too hard to find her. I find myself leaning on the railing at the bottom of the stand while following her as she goes round and round and round. Bring on the dizziness.

While this is all well and good, I do notice that she hasn't seen me as not once does she look at me.

She slows down to a walk after Thor-knows how many laps and does some cooling-off stretches. I check the time and see that there is about 25 minutes before I need to be at Resources so I think I'm just going to go and sit down, login maybe and just mess around on a computer.

I take a slow walk back, missing the girl look up to where I was standing.

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **I'm off to university myself in a couple of days, a foundation year in…you guessed it! Aircraft Engineering! (Aerospace Systems Engineering with Pilot Studies, for the interested) However I'm living by myself in my own flat to go to a separate college for the first year as the university doesn't actually have enough space for the actual foundation bit of the course…just to reassure you Hiccup and myself resemble each other very little in this story. Once this first bit is over I'm hoping our lives are going to go off in completely different directions rather than modelling him off mine so far.**

 **See you next time!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Remembrance

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 5 - REMEMBRANCE**

 **Hey guys and girls! Quick message, possible trigger warning for some people about halfway down, related to Hiccup's past with physical violence. I will mark it with a warning at the beginning and ending of that section if you wish to skip it. It is just a short section but I feel it needs pointing out.**

 **Happy reading!**

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It's been a long day, and I find myself trudging back to the blocks through the increasingly heavy rain. It was a lovely day this morning, autumn settling in. Brown and red leaves on the floor, sun peeking over the horizon and a chilly hint to the air.

That all changed around lunchtime though, quickly clouding over and the heavens opening up like we have angered Odin himself. Such however is the weather of Northern Berk, known for rapidly changing weather patterns.

I get to the flats pretty sharpish, looking live I've been dunked into the sea. I traipse up to my floor and open the door. First thing that hits me is a sweet smell. Not quite unlike…

"Alright. Who's been smoking Dragon Nip inside!?" I think instantly of Steven. Fishlegs has enough common sense to not smoke indoors. Especially not a rather restricted substance.

However both of these two people are both scrambling to open as many windows as they can, while a third person was just lazing on the sofa with a badly rolled and overflowing cigarette in their hand.

From this distance I couldn't tell if they were a boy or a girl. Long, dirty blond hair and dull clothing. The person raises their head to look at me. Very clearly higher than a kite, I finally confirm its a guy when he speaks.

"Heyyyy, welcome to the club! Hope you don't mind me breaking out the Nip on a regular basis. These guys don't want me to but I'm a democratic person. I figured I'd wait until the fourth member of this assembly was back before they could outvote me." He said it all in one breath, surprisingly considering the state his lungs are probably in.

I've still not actually stepped into the room, so I take the biggest breath I possibly can before taking the plunge. I enter the room and make a beeline for my room, stopping along the way to speak to the new person.

In one quick sentence I say, "I vote no, please don't smoke in here again", before carrying on to my room while he is calling after me; "Awwww come on! Nip's amazing to smoke, you don't know what you're missing by not trying it!", before falling over his own feet and face planting the floor.

Fiddling with the lock on my door and rapidly running out of breath, I watch as Fishlegs and Steven dive into their own rooms to the left of me, rooms 2 and 1 respectively. Finally unlocking it I open the door as little as possible and slide in, so as not to let much smoke in. My room smells vaguely of Nip, which I attribute to the lack of an air-tight seal on the door.

I can finally take this coat off, which feels like it's put on several kilograms of weight in water. Pity I can't put on weight like that, I resemble more of a rake than a person. My clothes change out of sodden jeans and a damp red shirt to more jeans and an older green shirt. Much better.

Deciding to leave the main room for while to let the smoke at least dissipate slightly, before reentering to cook myself some dinner, now seems like the perfect time to actually finish setting up my room. So thats clothes in wardrobe and draws, laptop on desk and connect the monitor to it, computer remnants in the corner and general niff naff triv all over the place.

The whole process actually takes almost two hours and I now can't see at all outside. I still don't consider it safe to go outside, so next I occupy myself with an attempt to get a cloud storage server up and running using my Raspberry Pi.

I fail. Again.

At this point, all my stomach seems to care about though is food, growling away down there.

"Fine", I say out loud and getting up, "stomach you win. If food is what you want, food is what you're going to get."

I slowly open the door, before poking my head out to the apparently empty common room. The Nip is mainly gone, just some lingering pockets of the noxious gas remain much to my relief.

It's getting rather late, I guess that everyone else is out partying for freshers week, getting themselves utterly drunk and wasting a whole load of money at the same time. My stomach is reporting that it is very hungry (probably attributed to the lack of lunch) so I think I'll make some stir fry with my new wok.

I was - quite simply - the best cook in the house. Mothers cooking was lethal at the best of times and the only time dad was actually allowed to cook anything was if it was on the barbecue or rice pudding. Gobber only ever cooked whole chickens for himself over a fire with one of his many arm attachments. It may be possible to attribute me being the _best_ cook in the house by me being the _only_ cook in the house.

The preparation of dicing the chicken breast and cutting the vegetables took mere minutes. Oil into the wok, medium heat. Then in goes the veg. The sound and smell of sizzling vegetables is only second to the sound and smell of a turbofan jet engine **[1]**.

I stir them around for a minute, the sizzling getting quite loud in the relatively silent room. Before I put the chicken in I hear a door from the individual rooms opening. Turning my head to have a surprise look, I see Fishlegs standing there looking at me, also surprised. He then takes a sniff and eyes widen in delight. It appears the food has overpowered whats left of the smoke.

Turning back to the pan so I can put the meat in, I question him, "Not going out then tonight Fish?" It was a stupid question, of course he wasn't going out because he was there in the flat with me.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. I mean, no-one's going to want to party with fat old me here. All brains, scant else."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I feel the same, just I'm a ' _talking fishbone'_

to quote my father. To tell you the truth, I have trust issues. I haven't had a proper friend in years so that might be a contributing factor."

 *****TRIGGER STARTS HERE*****

As I say those words, my mind casts back to a time when people found it fun to make death threats, use me as a punchbag, smashed my head against solid metal radiators and even followed me home from school to assault me on my doorstep. As a result it gave me a very thick skin, but it also cut me off from people around me.

A shiver goes down my spine as I think about it, and I close my eyes for a moment to regain my composure before reopening them and picking up some spice for the food. I take a deep breath of the smell in front of me and smile. I'm starting new here. No-one from my old school here to carry on the "traditions", and Steven is just one of those people who will have to be dealt with in short order. There will be people like that in all avenues of life, whichever path you will take.

 *****TRIGGER ENDS HERE*****

"Uhhh Hiccup? You've been stirring that wok for a couple of minutes now, are you ok?

Oops, I forgot Fishlegs was there. I turn to him and say, "Sorry, yeah I was just thinking. D'you want some stir fry?", offering him a look at the wok and wanting to change the subject.

He comes over and gives it a smell, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, before muttering something along the lines of, "plus fifty hunger…"

Fishlegs took a half pace back, "No thanks, as _amazing_ as that smells, I ate earlier before Tuffnut came in and…"

I cut him up while tipping the contents of the pan onto a large plate, "Tuffnut? Please tell me that's not his actual name." I almost dropped the pan in laughter.

"Oh no, well, actually I doubt it. He insisted we call him Tuffnut, no mention at all of any other names."

At this point I've sat down at the table and start shovelling food down my neck faster than is really safe.

"The food won't grow legs you know Hiccup. If you choke on it that would also be a waste of a perfectly good mouthful."

"Ah 'ell. Gd jo ahve 'ty it ta r'plce th't chnk." I say through a particularly big mouthful. Mother would have murdered me at home for doing that.

"I'm sorry!?"

I chew for a couple of seconds before swallowing, "I said, 'ah well, good job I've plenty of it then to replace that chunk'", before taking another, this time more reasonably sized, mouthful.

We chat for what seems like hours. It's only when my phone vibrates on the table next to my arm that I see that it has gone midnight and that I really should be in bed if I want to be able to attend class tomorrow. Really not many other people will be there, lots nursing hangovers.

In regards to my phone, it is a text from my mother, saying that she hopes my first day went well and that she misses me. I put the display back to sleep, deciding that I'll reply tomorrow and saying I was asleep when I got it.

I look at Fishlegs, who has gone suspiciously quiet. His right eyebrow is raised questioningly and he looks like he is fighting off the urge to smirk.

"What?"

"Talking to anyone special are we?" This time failing to hide a smirk.

I give a sigh, "No. Well yes, but just my mother. Not special like you're thinking."

His shoulders and face drop, like I've just deprived him of a new toy.

"Oh…well listen Hiccup, I'm going to go to bed now, I'll see you tomorrow some time."

"Alright then." We both stand up, "I'm going to wash this up then take a quick shower before doing the same. See you."

He gives a small wave before locking himself in his room.

I take my plate to the kitchenette and fill up the sink. It's been a while since I've felt like this. A truly happy feeling. I finally have someone who I can again call my friend.

I break into a wide grin. It's almost like Christmas and Birthday have come at once.

Somewhere in one of the apartments across the courtyard, a certain girl is also just getting ready for bed. However she is thinking about the boy with the messy auburn hair and what to do about him.

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **Hiccup has a dark past, something he doesn't share with anybody. I also know what it is like to live in fear of people, fear and experience of physical abuse every day for years. If any of you have a problem, drop me a message. Humans are a cruel race who will jump upon what they perceive to be weakness at the first sign of it. Being bullied does** ** _NOT_** **make you weak. You could be the weakest, ugliest and most socially awkward person in existence. None of that is an excuse. They are the weak ones for thinking it is ok to do such a thing. I will offer as much help as I can, because I never want anyone to experience what I have been through. Help will always be given to those who require it.  
**

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 **[1] - Turbofans are by far the most common type of jet engine in use today. Air is split where some goes through the core (compressed, mixed with fuel, ignited and then exhausted), and the rest simply bypasses the rest of the engine before mixing back in with the exhaust. This is a far more efficient setup than initial jets where everything that was sucked in was compressed and combusted (turbojets). Airliners and cargo aircraft use a high-bypass turbofan, whereas smaller aircraft (such as a fighter jet) use a low-bypass turbofan. In essence a high-bypass has a higher bypass ratio than a low-bypass, simply the higher the ratio the more air bypasses the core than goes through.**

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 **Wow, I went on a bit in that explanation! If it was a bit confusing (I tried to simplify it as best as I could!) then google an image of a cross section, I find images explain things better than words!**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Friends

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 6 - FRIENDS**

 **I think I've settled on an update schedule peeps! Thursday evening UK time, I'll put a general time chart up in my profile if you're from East or West of here.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Sleep didn't come easy that night, despite my glowing mood.

I can take a while to get accustomed to a new bed. However it also didn't help that at gone 3am in the morning, I heard Tuffnut and Steven come bundling in. Tuffnut kept calling Steven "Snotlout", so either they were very, _very_ drunk, or I just discovered Steven's nickname.

The weather the next morning was rather dull. Completely overcast and threatening to rain. I won't be forgetting the waterproof today.

I'm off earlier than yesterday, I have to be at engineering for 0850. All yesterday actually consisted of was paperwork, what was on the course and being told what the expectations of us were. For several hours. There are about 15 people on my course, which for this year covers general engineering, and next year we can branch out into general, mechanical, automotive or several other types of engineering.

I almost bump into Fishlegs on my way out, who is in such a zombie-like state at the minute that he actually doesn't notice me.

Instead of going west towards engineering, I instead head North, towards the running track. Does this count as stalking?

I get to the track and stood in the same place I did yesterday, bottom row in the middle. It wasn't hard to find her today, being the only person on the track.

I can't stay long, I've only given myself a couple of minutes before needing to leave for class. She's either in a state of extreme concentration or is simply just ignoring the stalker bystander. I think the latter.

Ugh. Right time to go. As my father drilled into me from an early age, 'If you're not 5 minutes early, you're late.'

The engineering block comprises of several classrooms, two large, hangar like rooms, one supersonic wind tunnel and two subsonic wind tunnels. I arrive in good time, a couple of other people already there. Both nursing hangovers it appears. Most people have arrived by the 0850 start time, however a couple didn't and at 0905 with one person missing, the teacher (name, Basil) decided to just start the short tour.

The entire place reminds me of when I used to live on army bases as a child, all over the place. Dad would take me into the workshops to watch and play with some of the manual tools and the one thing you never forget about a workshop is the smell. Very oily and greasy, that is what I am reminiscing over here and it brings a smile to my face.

We are shown the hangars, one of which contains lathes [1], pillar drills [2], welding stations and a whole host of other pieces of equipment I don't know the names of.

The next hangar contains the wind tunnels and other equipment. They're impressive to look at, and the supersonic one is even more impressive when you find out that it was designed by a final-year student.

"Right, you've had a tour around, now the work begins." Basil says to us. There was a collective moan from the group, we all knew what was going to happen next.

We were being shepherded into one of the classrooms now for my first lesson at university. Maths, module 1. Dang it.

* * *

So it wasn't all actually doom and gloom. I found what little maths we did to be fairly easy, it was simply regurgitated stuff from college. I sat on a table with 4 other people; Albert, Fred, Castor and Carn. I was expecting them to start mocking me for anything I did, or even my perceived intelligence over them as I completed all the maths tasks easily.

However, none ever came. I even found myself explaining to Carn some of the more complex aspects of sine, cosine and tan graphs, and the others were listening in.

Out of the four I sat with, I was the only one staying on campus for accommodation. The rest were lived locally and stayed with their families and taking this year as a separate course, with an option to move into the university next year.

Getting on with this many people at once? Unheard of.

We all have a free period from now until after lunch. Fred and Castor decide to go home to see their families (but they see them at the end of every day?) and most of the rest of us split between the cafe and library. Albert went off with some other people who were on a different course which just left Carn and myself.

Carn was tall and lean looking with dark brown, borderline black, hair. Not quite my height nor thinness. Similar to me, he was a quiet person and shared a deep rooted passion for anything that flies. We were the only two who wanted to progress onto aerospace next year.

We have a silent mutual agreement to head to the library, not sitting on the ground floor which is free talking, but one of the quieter upper levels. Unfortunately I cannot help but want to mess around with a computer, so I sit at a computer station and Carn pulls up another chair next to me.

"…so that means that 2LogX plus 3LogY equals LogX^2Y^3?" [3] Carn asks, his head buried in a book where I have written several helpful equations out for him.

"Yep, the number in front becomes the power and since you are adding two Logarithms together, they multiply."

"See now that makes sense. I like to think I'm pretty good with maths but the teacher we had for this part of it back at college was awful at teaching."

I've logged in to the computer and am just running through whats inside. Any hopes I have of a computer that can handle big 3D files are dashed when I learn that this computer is a simple word processing machine. Sure this has several programs for 3D work on it, but anything larger than perhaps a 2 cylinder engine will probably cause it to melt.

I give a small sigh, and Carn notices my irritation. "Whats up?"

"Oh nothing major. If they want us to do any 3D stuff I'm going to struggle, no access to anything powerful enough."

"Yeah, the computers here all identical to one another. Dad works in the IT department and has complained about it to the library funds. If a student can't afford a good enough set of kit then they're kinda stuck."

"Well looks like theres nothing I can do about it. Best hope I can find a job and pay for it that way. Can't just live off student finance." To that end, now is probably a good time to start updating my CV, its a good couple of years old now.

Together, Carn and I sit there for several hours. Carn gets very confused several times (understandable, it's maths!) and I print off 5 CVs. 5 _very good_ CVs, if I do say so myself.

By time lunch has come and gone, we're both throughly bored. Carn sneaks down and gets us both some food from the cafe while I've moved onto mechanical equations for him.

I'd rather spend time with a friend, bored, than alone by myself with something to do. That is how foreign the concept of having a friend is to me.

Next up we have a lecture (groan!) All 2 hours and 45 minutes worth.

The lecture hall is pretty large in itself, impressive considering that it's underground beneath one of the engineering hangars. 12 rows of seating in which each row can take at least 30 people if they sit shoulder to shoulder. There are two huge projection screens at the front and tables for each of us to put laptops and books on.

Initially, as our first lecture, there had to be a "breaking the ice" bit at the beginning. This involved putting a badge on with our name, where we were from, what course we were studying and where we were from. So in my case that was "Howard", "Plane stuff", and "The Meridian of Misery".

Meridian of Misery raises a few eyebrows. It's just a small town to the far south which is much colder than up here for some reason. Basil is looking like he's enjoying himself immensely and the rest of us are, well, feeling a little bit weirded out, maybe?

This activity far overstays its welcome, and when we finally do sit down, my class spreads out over the first 3 or 4 rows of the hall, to which Basil laughs and calls us all "unsociable" before compressing us into two rows directly in front of him.

The lecture is about our first project (one of the three modules we will be studying this semester), which requires us to quad up. This first piece of coursework is computing based. A little odd, "Police Emergency Systems", where we need to answer 5 questions meant to test us on basic theory, practical use of and principles of computers. What a way to go to teach us "Digital and Software Applications in Engineering"…

To my right, I have Carn and to the left of me there are twins, Christopher and Robert (this is going to get sooooo confusing…). As with everyone else, they seem to want to get to know us so we all quad together.

It is at this point, that I realise that this first piece of coursework is also an ice breaker. The staff must realise that some of us (alternatively just Fishlegs and myself) aren't going out and thinning our wallets like the rest of the university. Perhaps its time to reconsider my no-going-out policy…

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **[1] - Lathes spin whatever you put in them so you can cut and sand them.**

 **[2] - A pillar drill has a drill you can raise and lower using a mechanical arm. It is far more accurate than a handheld drill because you don't have the operators arm vibrating with the drill.**

 **[3] - Things like ^2 and ^3 denote a power, in this case squared and cubed respectively.**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **So. Down to business. As I put in the description I may smuttify this story, how do you all feel about that? I will rarely make requests to readers but this is something I need your opinion on. I can understand if not everyone is into that sort of thing and I respect your opinion for that. If this does happen (not quite yet, plot isn't ready for it and it won't be essential to the storyline) then I will be putting a warning up on that chapter with an option to skip. Rating will stay M regardless. Thanks in advance!**

 **I feel like this chapter is a bit rushed, bit thoughtless in places, especially towards the end. Hope it doesn't make it too bad though :P**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7 - It's Behind You!

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 7 - IT'S BEHIND YOU!**

 **Thank you all so much for the kind reviews and words of encouragement! It means the world to me :)**

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It doesn't take me long to fall into a routine. Get up, eat, go to the running track (Although she wasn't there today, day off today perhaps?), lessons, back to the apartment, homework, eat, laze, shower and then finally bed. Today is no exception.

Today is also Wednesday. The longest day of the week. It is also the most boring.

Every other day I have a late start or spare periods throughout. Not today though. There is a lesson or lecture for every single period of the day.

The most boring part is the Electrical Science and Electronics lecture right at the end. I almost fell asleep! If this is what its like at the beginning of the year then isn't it only going to get worse as time goes on!?

The Materials lecture (essentially engineering orientated chemistry) was very enjoyable, oddly enough. I last had a chemistry lesson what feels like years ago, and here I am able to clearly remember what Ionic, Covalent and Metallic [1] bonds are.

So afterwards I occupy myself with going out and looking for a job. As much as I want said job, I stop looking after having been to the 6 local supermarkets, 4 of which have offered me an interview. Not too shabby at all.

The local town is just 5 minutes up the road on foot. It's not even dark out yet and on my way back I can already see first years going out for their first drinks of the night. Those that have been every night so far must have both an impressive tolerance to alcohol and very deep pockets. I envy both.

Its just Fishlegs and myself at our apartment again tonight. I have a suspicion that it's going to remain that way for the rest of the week.

I picked up a couple of pizzas for myself and Fishlegs on the way out of one of the supermarkets and put them on once I get in.

"So how was your _day off_ then Fish?" I put specific emphasis on the 'day off' part.

"Thoroughly boring, thank you very much. There are only so many times I can read through the textbook before getting bored, even if part of it is nuclear physics…" Fishlegs drawled, his voice every bit as bored as his apparent day.

"Riiiight…"

He sits up on the sofa he was laying on and mutes the telly, before looking at me with an unnerving seriousness. I haven't done anything wrong, have I?

"Hiccup, we uh…need to talk about something." His seriousness was only betrayed by the small break in the middle of that sentence.

Now I have turned so the front of my body is facing him, giving him my full and undivided attention.

"Fishlegs, whats wrong?" I am genuinely concerned, he's the closest thing I have to a best friend, even after only 3 days.

His reply was virtually the same as what I was thinking about him; "I've seen many people come and go in my friendship book Hiccup. Some were nicer than others and some only accepted me because I would do their homework for them. But that is neither here nor there, you are different from all of them. I may have only known you for 3 days and a couple of hours now but you seem to care about me more than any of them ever have. And as such, I don't want to see you hurt."

Theres a pause, and Fishlegs takes a deep breath before continuing; "I know where you are going every morning before you go to class. My physics classes are in the blocks opposite and I sit next to a window. You don't _know_ her. Don't let yourself get drawn into something which could destroy you."

Another pause, like he is looking for words.

"You don't seem to be the type who'd fall in love easy. You also don't seem to be the type who'd fall _out_ of love easily either. That is what I fear at the minute Hiccup, please heed my warning."

This entire time, neither of us take our eyes off of the other.

I attempt to deflect it (or am I hiding from it? That thought niggles the back of my mind), "You seem to know a lot about this sort of thing Fish, something you want to tell me?" I wonder if that was a bit harsh.

If Fishlegs was insulted, he didn't let it show. Instead he gave a dismissive flick of his hand and said "A story for another time, perhaps. We need to discuss the here and now though."

I must be missing something here. Was Fishlegs some sort of love guru?

"I inherited my brains from my mother, she was a psychiatrist who specialised in female emotions and what they meant. I don't think I'll ever be as good as her, but she did teach me a lot about how women minds work, what common reactions and preferences meant what and the like."

I had to sit down for this. Was my new best friend the key to understanding how a woman worked? The one thing which men of the human race have been asking themselves since they evolved from monkeys? I have to pose this question to him.

"Fishlegs. What you mean to tell me is, you…you can understand how women work?"

"Hiccup my dear boy!" Did he _really_ just say 'My dear boy'? "Every woman is different, there is no way even Odin himself could find out what a woman was thinking or wanted at any particular moment! Let alone a mere mortal like you or me!"

And a deflation is in order. My disappointment must have been clearly visible because what he offers next completely shocks me; "Lets go into the town on Friday. You and me, we can see who and what is out there, take your mind off her."

A sigh escapes me, not because I don't want to go to town (I would die of embarrassment at people finding out how little alcohol I can tolerate…), but…ah well bugger it. It's not like I've ever been out for drinks or to a nightclub before. First time for everything, right?

I throw my arms into the air, seceding defeat. "Fine. You know what, I'm not going to argue this time. I just, ugh!"

"Hiccup, I am honestly beginning to wonder if you appreciate what you look like."

"Eh?" What was wrong with how I looked? Sure maybe the hair is a bit messy but I just leave it like that after a shower and it tends to stick. Or is it my extreme height to width ratio?

"How do I put this without coming across as weird? People would call you…ah, hot?"

Ok he's clearly lost his marbles now. I squint slightly at him while asking; "Uhhhh Fish? Are you…?"

"What? Gay? Nope….at least I don't think I am?"

How very reassuring.

Stomach rumbling, and dearly looking for something else to change the topic to, I get up saying "I'm going to check the pizza."

"I predict an 87% chance of you sharing a drunk snog with one person or greater on Friday."

"And how the bloody hell did you calculate that?!"

* * *

My alarm goes off, it's Thursday. I set it to go off earlier than needed for todays late start to get started on my 8 hour share of the coursework I tell myself. However in reality it is to get my mind off of what transpired last night. What on Earth was I thinking! Saying yes to going out to freshers!

Up, toast, bathroom, get changed, leave. Thats what my routine looks like now. Actually thats what my routine has looked like since I was 11…

I take the usual route now, up by the helipads, then over to the track. There's no-one here again today, but as I have a couple of hours before needing to get to the lecture, I lean over the handrails at the front and take in the cold morning air. There's brown and red leaves all over the place. Autumn has well and truly set in.

Thats when I hear a small rustling behind me, on the leaves. A sudden harsh, and distinctly female voice breaks the silence.

"Who in Thor's name are you and why the goddamned hell are you stalking me!?

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **[1] - The names of bonds between different types of atoms. Ionic bonds form between non-metal and metal elements, Covalent holds non-metal elements together and Metallic holds metal together. Confused? I am!**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **So Fishlegs appears to have a bit of a backstory as well, only time will tell what it is! Hehe for cliffhangers too ;)**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8 - What Goes Up, Must Come Down

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 8 - WHAT GOES UP, MUST COME DOWN**

 **PREVIOUSLY -** Fishlegs manages to persuade Hiccup to go to the town for freshers week with him, and Hiccup get accused of being a stalker…(well he kinda was really)

Also apologies it's an hour late chaps and chapesses

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

I span around, overshooting slightly and stumbling round looking like an idiot. When I manage to focus on her, I almost gasp in shock.

Standing before me, is quite possible the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on. She's about my height, perhaps a little shorter. Her hair is a rich blond, the feature I most remember about her. It reminds me of the sun, how bright it is. Her bangs are partially covering her left eye My eyes drift to hers and lock (again!) Her eyes are as blue as the sky, something I think I could spend the rest of my life looking into and not get bored. I daren't glance at her body for fear of getting brutally murdered. Speaking of murder, she looks angry. Hang on, forget angry. Try _fuming_.

There are a couple of seconds of silence, before; "Well?" She drops into an aggressive stance; facing me partially side on, legs spaced apart for balance and fists balled, "We'll start of simply then. Who. _Are_. You?"

"I. Uhhh, nobody?"

 _Oh for fucks sake Hiccup. Really?_

There's a brief hint of surprise on her face, before vanishing back to the angry demeanour. "Try again." Her words are as blunt as a brick. Really are most people here aggressive or what?

"Howard Haddock" I say sternly. Did I say that too seriously? Please don't take that the wrong way.

"Well _Howard_ , maybe you could tell me why every day I come down here for morning practice, I see you standing right there and staring at me.

I spend a couple of seconds thinking about what to say. I should have come out with some gods-awful excuse like 'I'm a guy, it's what we do'. However what actually quietly came out was "I wanted to see a Valkyrie."

That was something she _really_ did not expect. To be honest, it shocked me as well. What's wrong with me over the last day?

True to the part of me that I know, I cock my head in a small bow. A gesture of respect. "I am uhh…uhhhh…really, _really_ sorry that I've pissed you off. I won't come back again." She doesn't move, but her face of stone lessons somewhat. Was that not what she was expecting me to say/do?

Giving a small nod this time, I turn right and walk away, head down slightly.

"Hiccup…"

"Eh?" More turning around, "I don't remember telling you my nickname?"

"Tuff's your dorm isn't he? His twin sister is in mine…" She looks almost nervous now, a complete change from mere seconds ago. Feet close together, right arm across her belly and left hand fiddling with her bangs. Not looking at me now.

"He has a _twin_? Isn't one bad enough?"

Is this a good ice breaker? Could well be. I was fighting the dragons in my stomach. I was talking to a girl! This must be a dream…

"The apartment constantly smells of Dragon Nip." Still fiddling with her bangs. She's gone from a raging dragon to a harmless person in a shorter time than a Night Fury can turn on a threepence.

"Yeah, same here." Small talk. It's something. The last female in my age group I talked to threatened me with several power tools and emasculation. This was a _definite_ improvement.

Would it be pushing it too much to ask for a name?

"So er, could I have your name, at least? Only I've been referring you in my head as "Blond" for the past few days."

She finally stops playing with her bangs and looks at me again. Theres a moment of hesitation, to which I cringe inside. I've asked too much!

"Astrid. You can call me Astrid."

I raise my right eyebrow questioningly.

"I've no nickname if thats what you're hoping for." She tells me, noticing the raised eyebrow.

"Please don't come back to the track Hiccup…is it ok if I call you that?"

I nod, and feel like I've been shot in the heart. She must have noticed this because she quickly comes back to me with;

"No no no! Not like that! It's just people are asking me if we know each other and a couple of them have even had the nerve to ask if we're in a relationship!" (Ouch…) Then softly, "one of them actually has a thing for you, you know?"

In my shock I miss the sadness in her voice.

"I…wai-at?" So I've skipped stuttering and am now mashing words together. Excellent. Very manly."

Astrid had closed the gap between us to a couple of paces, and wasn't looking at me again.

"Yeah, green eyes and black hair. Called Heather, a second year."

"Think I know her, checking people in at reception last week?"

"That's the one."

An awkward silence ensues. Neither of us looking at the other. My mind is in overdrive, here I am in the presence of a Goddess and _someone has a thing for me._ There must be something wrong with her. As much as this would normally break my brain, I push her from my mind. Hard to like someone else when you have a crush so bad, that Loki himself would die trying to make things go wrong.

I decide that now is the time to vacate, hoping I may be able to get away before either I say something utterly stupid or it gets too awkward for the both of us. However, I may be a little late for the latter though.

"I'll leave you to your, uh, well whatever you want to do that doesn't involve me" I say meekly.

"I'm going into town tomorrow with Ruff and a couple of other girls, well dragged is maybe a better description. Do you want to come?" She quickly said. "Might be better company too." She added as an afterthought.

One of my eyebrows raises again. "Well I'm being erm…dragged too tomorrow. Just my room mate and myself."

"The Dragons Head, twenty hundred hours."

Another forces child then, something we can talk about. "The Dragons Head…?"

"Yeah, its a pub. May go to a couple of nightclubs later in the night though, apparently."

"Noted. I'll see you then then."

Relief flashes across her face, "Thank you", before becoming serious again, "please don't make me regret asking you along, there are enough tossers here without you being another one."

I couldn't help it. "Oh thank you for your everlasting support for me."

Before I can react to anything, I feel a sharp stabbing pain in my left arm. She's just punched me!

"Oi! Sarky!"

"Ow! What was that for?"

Awww come on ya wuss! That was just a tap!"

So is she actually violent or just playful? She glances at her phone.

"Gods! I've got 5 minutes to get to my lecture. See you tomorrow Hiccup!"

She's already running off to the end of the stand, turning and waving at me before disappearing around the corner. I don't even get a chance to wave goodbye myself.

I rub my arm again before making my own way to the library. Odin's skivvies that hurt, writings going to be fun later with a dead arm.

I miss a shadowy figure leaning on the rails at the top of the stands.

* * *

The day passes quickly. I make several stupid mistakes throughout the day but hey! I'm on Cloud Nine, cut me some slack!

Several people notice my ecstatic mood. They ask me questions from have I won the lottery, to has a crotchety old relative finally bitten the dust. And then;

"Get a good shag?"

I give Castor a "really?" stare. "Nope. Not that either."

It makes me think however, about Astrid. Am I actually going on a date with her? Or is it just a get-to-know-each-other based thing? No, friends. We're just friends. I can't just decide that I'm going out on a date with her, not when I virtually don't know her. But does that make her a friend? Argh why is this more confusing than theoretical mechanics?!

When it becomes apparent that they're not going to be able to extract an answer from me, the conversation moves on.

We're supposed to spend 8 hours on our coursework, but I've done most of my share in the couple of hours before the lectures started. It helped that I have an extensive knowledge in computing and dad knew a bit about how emergency systems worked from his time in the forces. I stayed back for a little while to discuss what I had left with Basil. My advanced state already caused him to question why I was on the foundation year.

"Well, I may have been slightly ill for one of the exams so they failed me for it and so I was 10 points short on getting onto the normal course…"

"Heavens! Back when I was going through university they gave you the benefit of the doubt and put you through on a pass mark! Not an outright fail!"

So that was a fairly humorous while spent with him.

* * *

By time I've got the information I wanted on block diagrams, it's getting dark outside. I decide to go in a straight line back to the apartment out back through the alleyways.

The alleyways are narrow, with vents coming out of the walls and a few dumper bins here and there. The atmosphere creeps me out so I pick up the pace. I give an involuntary yelp when I suddenly get yanked backwards and pinned against a wall. My head hits the brickwork and I'm dazed for a moment, before a slap to my face brings me back to reality.

I find myself pinned to the wall by…

"I warned you to stay away from her weakling." Steven growled.

"Get the _hell_ off me." I half shout at him, attempting to break free of my restraint.

"People who mess with Snotlout find themselves in very nasty situations. Consider yourself lucky that it's just me on this occasion."

Really? He was actually calling himself _Snotlout_?

I punch him in the face. However, my lack of anything remotely looking like a muscle means it does little more than irritate him.

"Have it your way then."

Next thing I know is that I've been slugged in the stomach, quickly followed by a hit to my temple. Seeing stars, I drop to the floor in a heap.

I feel myself being rolled onto my back, before I hear him saying "Next time you won't get away with such a light treatment." However I fail to make sense of what he said.

The last thing I remember before blacking out is my face exploding in pain.

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **Sorry if chapters of dialogue bore you, but this has been by far, my FAVOURITE chapter to write so far!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9 - Revelation

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 9 - REVELATION**

 **PREVIOUSLY -** Hiccup and Astrid finally meet and come away unharmed from the encounter. However, Hiccup has another meeting with Snotlout and comes away slightly more broken than before…

Sorry (again) that it's a bit late. I had some emergency coursework to finish off after a weird system crash caused said coursework to BE ERASED FROM 3 SEPARATE DRIVES. So much for backing things up.

Heads up trigger chapter.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Urrrgh my head…I feel it raining onto my face and take a sharp breath, only for my nose to feel like someones taken a hammer to it.

"Gah fuck…" Breathing using my mouth now, I move my head around and feel something cracking on my face. I realise that it's blood and remember that Steven stomped on my face. Still lying on the floor, I pull my phone out of my back pocket and open up the forward facing camera to assess the damage.

Well my nose is clearly broken. I have a pair of black patches beneath my eyes, the ridge of my nose has scabbed over and the river of blood from my nostrils has dried. I figure that I must have been lying there for a good couple of hours at least, as its also dark.

I roll onto my side and push myself up with my arms, as I don't think my legs could take standing up quite yet. I sit against a wall for a couple of minutes, ignoring that I still have my bag on, collecting my thoughts. I just don't think about the fact that I have quite blatantly just been assaulted, because if I do I'm likely to just have a panic attack.

I use the wall to stand up, being careful not to jar my face in any way out of fear it could damage my nose further.

I'm given a wide berth by people as I make my way back to the flats. People these days, absolutely useless.

The hardest part is making my way up the stairs, each step absolutely killing me. This is the part where I start feeling lightheaded, probably from the loss of blood and shock beginning to set in.

I've opened the door when I realise that Steven might be in the block at the same time. My need for painkillers however overrides everything else at the minute.

I breath a sigh of relief when I see only Fishlegs (again) in the flat. I virtually never see either of the other two, who I'm assuming are permanently out drinking. However, I now have to explain what happened to Fish…

The man in question is lying on a sofa, legs up and feet along where the head normally goes, head in a book. He glances over in my general direction with a small wave, quickly bolting upright when I make a beeline for the sink and grab a copious amount of kitchen roll.

"Hiccup! What happened!?"

I don't reply immediately, now being more preoccupied with looking for something to ease my pain in the emergency first aid box.

Swallowing a pair of tablets with my nose in its current configuration is one of the most painful things I've ever done, something I really don't recommend.

With streaming eyes, I give Fishlegs an answer, sounding exhausted. "Fire door, someone hit me with a fire door." Why am I lying? This guys my best friend.

"Yeah right, and my mothers a viking dragon killer. Your nose looks fractured, who hit you?"

I've started cleaning my face of the dried blood. It would have been easier to scrape it off with a spatula it was so thick. Not having one to hand though means I'm stuck with finger nails and wet kitchen roll.

"Really Fish, I think it's broken."

"Trust me when I say that if it was broken you'd be rolling around on the floor, bawling like a small child. Not to mention if someone had actually hit you with a door you'd use the local first aid kit than come all the way back to use ours. Come on, who'd you pick a fight with?" He pulls a bag of peas out the freezer and puts a few into a towel, giving it then to me to put onto my nose to help with the swelling.

"I think you know who did." I begin to think back over what happened. The memories are all over the place at first, not making sense. Then they become coherent again, and I feel something in my chest that I've not felt in a long time. It's getting tighter, I'm struggling to breath.

"Quick, far cupboard bottom row, theres a paper bag. Give it to me." The panic is spreading quickly from my stomach.

"Why…?"

Gods why can't people follow the simplest orders?

"Just do it!" I've now slumped against the cupboards so I don't fall over.

The bag drops to my lap, and I quickly empty it of the onions inside. I hear Fish mutter something about not being able to fathom why I'd want a bag of onions right now. He figures it out when I shakily hold the bag to my face and breath in and out very rapidly.

The best thing I can do is to just wait it out. It's only myself and Fish here at the minute, no-ones here to hurt me. No need to have a panic attack.

I pull my phone out and start timing myself, like I always used to when this was a more common occurrence. I'm going to lose the ability to think clearly in a minute from the panic gripping me, I know that much.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Its been 7 minutes, which felt like an eternity. It's only now that I feel that I can breath normally, without the paper bag. Fishlegs had sat down, not leaving me while I had my little episode. Panic is subsiding, and embarrassment kicking in.

My breathing is still laboured when I finally say something, although thats more due to exhaustion than anything else. "I'm sorry you had to miss your program Fishlegs."

"I think I'd make a poor excuse for a human being if I said I was more concerned about whats on the box than someone who's having a problem."

Theres a moment of silence, which is broken by Fishlegs, "Are you going to report this to the police?"

I've already thought about this. In all honesty, not my smartest ever decision.

"No. And before you try and convince me otherwise it's not changing." I say, attempting to be resolute with it but failing when Fishlegs opens his mouth to respond.

"But he's practically assaulted you!"

"So what? Staff here are gonna raise their hands and say its a matter for the police so they don't have to deal with it and what are the police going to do? Just slap him with a caution and tell him to be a good little boy. Nothing good has ever come out of anyone else attempting to solve my problems." I must sound like a stroppy child.

"Thats not a valid reason."

"Just drop it Fish."

He sighs. "We need to talk about this when you're better. I'm thinking after the pub."

"I came to university to get away from my mother, not for you to morph into one. I'm hungry, would you mind cooking dinner?"

"I appreciate the promise of food in an attempt to change the subject, which I'll agree to in return for you promising to talk about this with me after the pub tomorrow. Deal?"

"This conversation is feeling very one sided..."

"Lack of telling me no implies agreement", (I groan at how much he could sound like Commander Spock at times) "So what do you have in mind for dinner?"

For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I allow myself a lopsided grin. "Oh nothing much. Just a small... _invention_ of mine."

"Leave it to the bloody engineers to invent something to solve to a problem that doesn't exist..."

"Oh come on Fishlegs! It'll be fine!"

"You fill me with confidence. So what do I need?"

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Fishlegs' worries were quite unfounded I thought. All we were making was simply chilli bolognese. Fish however, could absolutely not wrap his head around why we couldn't just have either spaghetti bolognese or chilli con carne and not a mix.

I was still sitting on the floor directing Fish on how to do the cooking, not quite trusting myself to either get up or do any food prep. Theres a couple of minutes silence while the peppers are being chopped, which I decide to break by saying; "I'm going to give you one guess with who I met today Fish."

I dunno. I'm a little preoccupied trying to get all the seeds off of this pepper at the minute, they're so small...uh, Bill Nye the Science Guy?

Who knew a mathematical genius could put such a huge amount of attention into just chopping vegetables? I should do this to him more often, it could be hilarious.

"Wrong, obviously. Nope, I met our dear blonde haired friend earlier" I announce to him.

What was very unexpected however, was his reaction. Never mind chopping pepper, the chopping board became the chopped board, his knife becoming solidly wedged in it and narrowly missing 4 of his fingers.

He looked at me, "And what happened? She take kindly to you coming to watch her run every morning?"

"Well she did accuse me of being a stalker..."

"Unsurprisingly."

"Let me finish! After she looked like she could kill me I may have slightly-accidentally called her a Valkyrie and then she became just as nervous as I was. Her name's Astrid, told me that afterwards."

He resumes chopping, moving onto an absolutely massive onion. "And did it progress much beyond that? Didn't pull a battleaxe or something out and throw it at you?"

"If she had, I wouldn't be here to tell the tale. I don't doubt her aim with something like that."

"So what did you do then? Exchange numbers? Facebook friends what? I'd be curious to know what she looks like actually if you're acquainted on some form of social media."

"Neither, didn't get her surname. There's a thought though, I'll just check Facebook. Can't be too many Astrids this far north can there?"

"Well done Hiccup. Moving from real world stalker to Facebook stalker."

"Oh shut up." I open up the app on my phone and search for her. Nothing immediately apparent, but that doesn't surprise me. I lock the phone and put it back on the floor.

I think back to what Astrid said about Heather liking me. Sure maybe if Astrid decides to see what everybody else sees and hates me, I might look into it. She's not that bad after all, could be much worse...

"Earth to Hiccup, I have finished the prep work."

"Oh right, yep sorry. Put two tablespoons of oil into the wok and add put it on setting 7. Add the veg and mince once you're done." I pause for a second, thinking about how I want to say this next part; "She wanted to see me tomorrow, in the Dragons Head at 2000 **[1]** hours. Could we possibly work this into your plan for me tomorrow…?"

"That works out quite well actually. I had no idea where to take us so we would've looked quite stupid. Just don't make me the third wheel yeah?"

"Well I'll try not to…"

Fishlegs doesn't reply, as all of his concentration is being put into staring the frying pan down. I can see the cogs whirring in his head, what is he thinking about now?

Before long, Fishlegs has almost finished and he is just tipping the pasta and boiling water out of the pot and into a sieve, when I heard the front door open and close. I feel myself shrink back against the cupboard, heart in my mouth. Thats when I hear the new arrival say "Normally only Hiccup can make the place smell this good. Has he been teaching you?"

Thats the sound of Tuff's voice. I can breath again.

"The man in question, is down here" Fishlegs says, reaching down and ruffling my hair.

Tuffnut is not being…well…Tuff. Not smoking a joint of Nip and wanting to blow stuff up. I wonder if this is what he's like when he's not high as a kite?

"Oh hey Hiccup, how're…ohhhh…"

He had peaked over the island separating the kitchen from living room, and saw my face. It was too late for me to hide my head in my lap at this point.

"Man that looks awesom…uhhh…was it Snotlout perchance?"

He changed his tune when is noticed Fishlegs was giving his a glare. If looks could kill…but how did he know?

Stupid question, they were joined at the hip most evenings.

"Yeah, it was…how do you-"

"I may have an obsession with causing absolute destruction, but even I'm not comfortable with people who make death threats for fun."

Well he wouldn't be the first one. Oh well not much of a change there.

"Well as much as I'd love to sit here and chat my friends, I have important work to get on with! Things to do, people to see!"

I thought he would be a normal person and go to his room normally. As usual, I'm wrong. He smashes his head on his door before entering and then mutters something about a report to his sister on the topic of head smashing…uhhh…

"Sooo…"

"Yeah that wasn't weird at all…"

"Moving on, it's about done. How do you feel about eating? Not going to choke and die on me are you?"

"Well if I do…" I tentatively stand up, feeling a little dizzy, "I blame you, it's your cooking after all."

He jokingly pointed the wooden spoon he was using to stir the pasta at me in a threatening fashion; "Now listen here boy. I will personally _sit_ on you should you even attempt to die. Now stop doing all…this and eat!" Fishlegs dropped a bowl into my arms filled with my latest invention.

"But you just gestured to all of me" I deadpanned.

"Shut up and scat."

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **[1] - 2000 hours, pronounced 'twenty-hundred hours', not two thousand. Military slang (UK at least) for time, sorry if that confused some people in the last chapter. A pair of more complex examples would be 0645 and 1837, which would be 'zero-six-fourty five' and 'eighteen-thirty seven' respectively.**

* * *

 **So Hiccup's feeling the after effects of Snot's attack. Feeling sorry for him? I have the cure in the next chapter! (I'm uploading it with this chapter, if it's not up wait couple of minutes and try again).**


	10. Chapter 10 - Truth

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 10 - TRUTH**

 **PREVIOUSLY -** Hiccup recovers from Snotlout's hits and explains to Fishlegs what happened. Fishlegs also enters a state of deep thought when Hiccup mentions of his "date" with Astrid the next day.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Eating was painful. Sleeping was painful. Even breathing was when I forgot to breath through my mouth instead of my nose. By the next morning the swelling was relatively normal, much to Fish's surprise. He thought I'd be with a baboon nose for at least a week. However the cut on the bridge of my nose wouldn't stop breaking open, so I put one of those thin, white plasters over the top.

I couldn't decide if whether or not I was looking forward to the day. On one hand, I would have to explain to several people why I still had a red face and why there were darker than normal patches under my eyes. Several people (hopefully not any teachers) would add 2 and 2 and get 4.

On the other hand, I was off out to see Astrid later. This must be the only time in my life that I must be worrying about how I look. Damn nose. In fact, damn Snotlout.

It was the first day that I hadn't gone down to the track either to watch Astrid. Not that it felt too weird, I haven't been doing it long enough for it to

become too bad a habit.

I met up with Carn outside mathematics for our first period, he immediately called "bullshit" with my a-fire-door-hit-my-face story. So I told him the truth, about being pinned and knocked out against a wall. Honesty is the best policy, right? Even if it's not always with myself.

Carn was shocked, horrified, disgusted and a whole lot of other things all at the same time. Pretty much doing the same as Fishlegs, questioning my reasoning behind what I've (not) done about it. However, I think "saved by the exam" is applicable here, as we were split up and handed an exam paper. We may have only been here a week but we have an exam worth 5% of our final grade today. To quote Basil, we are on a 'crash course in engineering'. Which means it is _very_ fast paced, and some people have already been left behind.

I had spent the last 2 years in college studying maths. This seemed like it was an advanced extension of the first year back at college. I didn't think it was _too_ bad (don't jinx it you fool) but most of the rest of the class I could tell were crying their hearts out.

I find myself being asked by Basil to help him take the papers to a scanner when we had finished. I know what he wants to ask and I appreciate the subtlety.

"I grew up on a farm you know Howard. Two older brothers. We would fight each other to prove how strong we were. Being the youngest, I usually lost but it was all good fun. Brotherly love yes, but we held nothing back. But anyway, once or twice, someones nose got broken."

Yep. Why is it people see through me as easily as one would look through a pane of glass?

"I was advised to read your file when you joined" He continued after waiting to see my reaction, "and I can see why you wouldn't want to report anything. Please let us help you, we can do so much more here than what any school or college can do to people who abuse others."

I put the papers down next to the scanner in the empty staff room. "Will that be all sir?" I say bluntly.

Basil rolls his eyes (thats my trick!), "We'll respect your wishes this time, but we will be contacting the police if this happens again, capisce?" **[1]**

"Thank you sir." I give the usual slight bow of my head before turning around to leave. So thats one two hour exam done, we now don't have anything until after lunch (CAD workshop **[2]** ) because the exams need to all be scanned in and sent off to the examiners like, now.

I suddenly realise that I'm all alone amongst the books on the top floor of the library. Something I haven't done since my secondary school days when I had no-one to hang around with.

I push that thought from my mind and sit at a table in one corner to start my maths coursework.

Taking a brief look over all the questions, I feel like we should have been given the coursework before sitting the exam this morning. Whats the point in setting us work thats easier than an exam we have literally just taken eh?

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I never understand how time can fly when you do work. I only stop at lunch only because my throbbing face tells me its time for another painkiller.

Lunch for me consists of leftovers from last nights chilognese. Needless to say, it was a success (why wouldn't it be? I invented it after all)

So lunch then comes and goes and my pains are easily forgotten with the forthcoming prospect of CAD next and seeing Astrid later.

Due to my affinity for 3D work, the tutorial lesson made me feel like I was being made to suck eggs. To the point where once I've made all the parts to a small air compressor, animated it and converted it into 2D drawings complete with dimensions for people to make from sheet metal, I have enough time left over to teach over a third of the class how to use the software. Damn I'm good.

So time flies when you're having fun. It's suddenly time to go back to the apartment and spend hours deliberating what to go out in. I'm thinking casual?

As usual, when I get back I'm all alone. Fishlegs wont be back for another hour or so, and I don't even know what courses the other two are studying, let alone what time they'll be back. I'm beginning to think that I have a timetable to die for with all the late starts and early finishes.

So the plan between now and 1945 is thus; eat, get nervous, shower, become more nervous, get changed and then finally surrender all my remaining sanity to the stomach pit vipers. I have hours to kill.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Fishlegs takes a little longer to get back than I thought. By time he does, I've had dinner (how original does beans on toast sound?), showered and tried to continue with some coursework, but my mind had other ideas. I hate being a guy sometimes. Tuff returned as well. Back to being the old usual him, smelling of the sweet stuff and thinking me a wall when he walks into me.

"Seeing as I have a feeling that I'm going to be third wheeling it tonight, I'm going to be meeting a couple of my friends off of my course tonight. If things go wrong for you, these guys don't bite. You're ok with that aren't you?"

"Course I am, maybe we need to get you a girl some time eh? Take the focus off me for once."

Fishlegs went a very surprising shade of pink

"I…well…uhhh…that may not be the best idea Hiccup." he spluttered.

We were just lazing on the sofa, Tuffnut able to be clearly heard snoring in his room. I turned and gave him a quizzical look. I can hazard a guess as to his lack of enthusiasm toward the idea, but only a guess.

"Theres well…um you see the thing is…"

"Have you ever actually had a girlfriend Fish?" I feel awkward for asking, but if what little I actually know about him is correct…

He takes a nervous gulp. "No." Comes the resolute reply. "No I haven't."

"Ah. Well theres a first time for everything. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours, deal?" I stick my hand out towards him.

"Thanks for the offer but I th-"

I roll my eyes. "Just shake the hand Fish."

He huffs and does so. Then he checks his watch in an attempt to change the topic.

"Well it's almost time. What you wearing? If you get the clothing right I predict a-"

"I'd actually _love_ to know how you calculate these things Fishlegs. And to answer your question I have a green shirt and jeans lined up."

"Well I suppose thats alright. We'll leave in five. See you then."

I get changed and look at myself in the mirror at my nose. Its a bit red on the bridge, but it's not immediately obvious that it's been hit. The black patches beneath my eyes are back as they were before, like I've not had much sleep.

Dad would make a mention about the messy state of my hair, but I happen to quite like it. If it didn't scare Astrid off when she first saw me then I doubt it will tonight.

Fishlegs outside is in a pair of brown trousers and blue checkered shirt. I'm about to say something to him, but he gets there first;

"Got any way of protecting yourself against her?"

I'm baffled. "Eh?"

"You know, in case you and her…"

It's my turn to turn an awkward colour. "Oh Gods Fishlegs! No! That won't be happening tonight! If ever!"

"I estimate that by your third beer you'll be spilling your deepest and darkest secrets to her. Whats to say she won't be the same?"

"I have a waaaay higher tolerance than three…hang on, how did you know I liked beer?"

We were already outside at this point, walking in the direction of the town. Only about 5 minutes late but it's good to be fashionably late isn't it?

"You looked like a beer type of person. If there's ever the little pitter-patter of any Hiccstrid babies, can I be the godfather?"

"Hiccstrid? Fishlegs tell me you are NOT already shipping us!? And there won't be any children!"

Fishlegs lets loose a rare cackle. "Well its better than Asup, that just sounds wrong. And we'll see. We'll see."

The rest of the walk is done in comparative silence, Fishlegs whistling an old Berkian tune, one I know very well as Gobber would sing it himself in the Forge regularly (I've got my axe and I've got my mace and I love my wife with the ugly face, because I'm a viking through and through!)

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

We're here. The pub is an old building, made mostly of dark brown/black wood by the looks of it. Above the door there is a head of a blue dragon with yellow spikes coming off in a sort of frill.

"Am I allowed to run away right about now?"

"Hiccup if you tried running away, you would find yourself bouncing off me, I'm taking up the whole doorway here. Keep going."

I take a nervous gulp. Here goes nothing. The men at the entrance are looking at ID to make sure we're old enough. My provisional driving license is mine.

The outside of the building betrays the size of the innards. It's huge! It's already fairly packed, mainly with students. With my height I take a scan of the heads, looking for hair which could be mistaken for a sun. I spot the hair with matching braid pretty much instantly by the bar, and I begin making my way through the crowd over to her. Fishleg's hand rests on my shoulder before I do however;

"I'll be over in the far corner if you need me! Ive spotted my friends!" He shouted over all the noise.

Instead of even trying to do the same, I simply nod over my shoulder, then carry on.

Being thin has it's perks, I can squeeze past drunk people without having to yell 'excuse me!' at them to get past, and then end up feeling very awkward.

So how is this going to work? Do I just go up and say hi or…

"Snotlout." I curse out loud. He's here. Standing next to Astrid.

My first thought is back to my nose and how much it hurt. Then comes a feeling of betrayal towards Astrid because he's here.

"Do you seriously want me to deck you again?" She harshly asks him.

I perk up. Perhaps his company isn't wanted after all.

"Well if that's how you show affection I wouldn't mind being decked again, although somewhere more in private would be very nice, if you follow my meaning." He said back, shuffling towards her slightly.

I'm standing a couple of feet behind them. I know the theory behind knocking someone out with a single hit to the temple, but it would likely go horribly wrong anyway and I'd get done for assault.

"Urgh, that is a fucking disgusting thought you utter moron. How many times have I asked you to go away now!?"

A bouncer made a very timely arrival at this point, evidently overhearing the exchange. This guy was huge, getting close to being on par with dad, and that's saying something.

"Are you ok miss? Is this man bothering you?"

Snotlout made a very arrogant move and put his hand on the bouncers shoulder; "Nah, she's just getting a little excited for later", I'm glad that I'm virtually invisible to him behind this behemoth of a man.

"Yes actually, you'd best move him before he sustains a broken neck."

"Aww come on babe, stop playing hard to get, you know you can't resist all th-"

He was stopped mid sentence by the bouncer, who had picked him up over his shoulder and made his way to the door, Snotlout thrashing the whole way. Looking back at Astrid, she's shaking her head before finishing her drink. Well I suppose it's now or never.

"So if I said I can hold a conversation without talking about sex and flashing my non-existent muscles, would you threaten me with a decking?" I say without looking at her while taking a seat at the bar.

She jumps and then looks at me.

"Hiccup! Gods don't do - argh!"

Without a seconds warning, I find myself with another bruise to add to my collection.

"Ow! Thor almighty I take it back!"

"Thats for being late! What kept you?"

"I'm sorry I didn't realise that the 'if you're not five minutes early, you're late' rule applied to being fashionably late" I replied sarcastically.

She stared at me. "Ok then. What gave me away?"

I crack a lopsided grin. "When you said 'Twenty-hundred hours' yesterday."

She groaned.

I make a notation to the barman; "Can I have a Berk Pride please?" and hand him a note to pay.

"I knew someone would realise eventually."

"You know people are very proud of this countries armed forces, I'm not too sure why you're hiding being a forces child."

"Not to be rude Hiccup but I hardly know you. I might tell you some day."

The bartender came back with my pint and change, and something else for Astrid, "Thanks." I say, while he says, "on the house for your incident earlier with that other fella." Astrid nods her thanks to him.

"So where are your friends then?" I ask, after raising my pint to my mouth and letting the black stuff touch my parched lips. Lovely stuff, like darkened honey.

"Without looking at me she bluntly tells me "Behind us, probably giggling their stupid arses off at me. They've been plotting ever since they weedled out of me that I was meeting you tonight."

My head was hurting from all the noise, and I've not even finished my first drink yet.

"D'you want to find somewhere a bit quieter? Away from them and all this noise?"

"You know what, go on."

We move to the next room, and then upstairs. Both were still fairly full but it was a more serious crowd upstairs. We sit down at the bar there instead.

"So why did you want to see me then? Not that I'm complaining but it's not like I've ever been out drinking before, let alone invited.

She gives me a 'what the Hel? You've never been out drinking before?' look. "Becuase you seemed like a decent guy and they're hard to find nowadays."

As she says this I take a look at what she's wearing. A light and dark blue striped shirt with a red skirt. Simple, but it works for her so well.

"Have you ever considered that instead of _decent_ guys like me just not existing, you're just not noticing us?"

I'm lucky that I'm not holding my drink, because she hits my arm again

"And that one is for getting philosophical on me!"

"Alright alright I'm sorry! I take that one back 'n all!"

The silence following is extremely awkward. My head feels like it's moving further than it actually is when I move it. Damn being a lightweight.

"So all I know is that your name is Howard. Much else you want to tell me?"

We're facing each other, my right elbow leaning on the bar and her left doing the same.

"Well, you've probably guessed that I'm a forces child myself, both parents." I raise my hand and make a pair of inverted commas when saying; " _Military brat_ , I believe is the affectionate term." She giggles to that.

"Anyway, so in a nutshell I'm a single child, 18. Grew up all over the place following dad around to wherever the army posted him. Too thick to go on a normal university course so I'm on a foundation year, aeronautical engineering with pilot studies. Thats basically it, not much exciting going on there." I end.

"Thats not much! Like what job do you want and stuff?"

"Fine! I wanted to be a Night Fury pilot for the air force, but they're both being phased out in favour of specialised aircraft like Deadly Nadders and Gronckles, and even if they weren't, I'm a walking medical disaster. So I've decided to go with mechanical aerospace technician, and then commercial flying. Uhhhh anything else…I spend more of my free time with my head inside of my computer than out and I am the lightest weight you'll ever find when it comes to drinking. Does that satisfy you milady?"

Oh wow, Night Fury pilot. They saved my uncles ass more times than he could count during the invasion of Berserk."

She realises her mistake at mentioning her uncle, and stairs at her glass accusingly, like its some sort of truth serum.

"My turn then I suppose?"

"Yep. Unless theres more classified stuff in there" I say, taking another long draught of my drink.

She glares at me before saying her life story.

"I have a younger sister, 9. Im also 18, uhhh, on a combined course. Sports trainer and physiological effects of sport. It's going to be a long five years. I'd like to be a Berkian Marine but they don't let women join. Sexist pigs. Don't really want to join the infantry so I'm looking at physical training instructor." She summarises.

"Why do I get the feeling theres a lot more to that story that you're just not divulging?"

"People who play with fire get their hands burned Hiccup, be careful you're not going to try handling with the dynamite instead."

So thats one way of telling me to mind my own I suppose. My drinks empty so I order another Berk Pride.

"Do you want anything while I get another drink?"

"Did you just offer me a drink?" She blushed.

"Well I thought that would have been quite obvious, thats the question I just asked you."

She drains her whatever it was. "Yeah, Kracken Rum then."

"Rum? I thought you were 18 not 80."

If looks could kill…

"I should warn you that that more I drink, the more truthful I become. Fishlegs predicts that I'll be spilling to you my deepest and darkest secrets by the end of the night."

She has an evil grin on her face as she starts her next drink. At least her third one.

"Fishlegs…?"

"Mate I came here with. He's downstairs with some other friends of his."

She shrugs her shoulders, as if to say ok-thats-another-weird-nickname.

Our conversation continues for Odin knows how long. I surprise myself with still being awake after yet another beer, two Jägerbombs and we shared a rather large glass of Piña Colada. She jumped the chair separating us for this and I felt awkward (in more ways than one) at her close proximity.

"So Hic-Hiccup. You currently thingying with anyone at the minute?"

"Lady Astrid. You are going to have to be far more precise than just saying thingying."

While my brain is still working normally, the rest of my body seems to not want to listen. I know I'm clumsy when sober but this is ridiculous. I keep knocking her and other silly things. Something new I've discovered, It seems that I'm far more gentlemanly than normal in this state."

"Thingying…you know…are you a thing with anyone?" She slurs. She did have a bit more than me and did mention something about pre-drinks earlier…

Aaaaaand here comes the question I didn't want to answer. But it just spills out anyway. Urgh.

"Noooo. I've only ever been in -hic!- one relationship, and that only -hic!- lasted for a couple of months."

"Awwww thats cute."

Cute? Seriously? If only she knew…

"I just ended a long term relationship, he just turned out to be a dick in the end…I like being drunk, I forget all my problems like this…" And then she rests her head on my shoulder. Right I've passed out and I'm currently dreaming.

"Yep. I feel the same." And then out of instinct (or was it the alcohol?) I rest my head on hers and tentatively wrap my arm around her. I was expecting her to rage and actually murder me, but the violence never came.

We sat there like that for a couple of minutes before a bright flash and the sound of a camera went off, I look around and see…Tuff? No thats not Tuffnut. Must be his twin, Ruffnut, standing there with her phone in her hand and 6 others are giggling like anything. Fishlegs and his two friends appear to be in tow as well but I pay them no notice for the time being.

"Well looks like goody-two shoes Astrid finally found the guy of her dreams." She cackled, along with the others.

The girl in question shoots up, narrowly missing my skull and stares threateningly at Ruffnut.

"We're going to the club now, and you two-" she points at us accusingly, "are coming with us."

I glance at Astrid, who is still glaring at Ruff.

"Fine. Doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it though."

"Oh don't offend Howard there. See look now he looks like he's going to cry, you hurt his feelings so."

I didn't actually feel like crying, and it looks like Tuff or Astrid told them my actual name.

The group of girls start moving downstairs, and Fishlegs smirks at me before following them with his own two friends.

"What did I do to deserve her as a friend…"

"Well someone needs to balance out the world with your looks."

She almost tripped over her own feet, would have done too had I not caught her by the waist. I realise what I'm holding and quickly let go.

"Did you just try flirting with me Hiccup!?"

My brain is playing slow on the catch up.

"Yep. Believe me when I say that a sober me would never say something like that."

"Maybe I did strike gold with you then eh?" she says quietly. I hear this but don't think about it, still thinking about holding her by her waist.

The walk to the club is a somewhat hilarious affair. Neither myself nor Astrid were capable of walking very far, so Fishlegs half carried me and one of Astrid's friends did the same for her. I get the feeling that normally Astrid wouldn't ever accept help.

The nightclub is underground, with a big dance floor in the middle and two bars at the back. The first thing I notice though upon entering is the amount of blue and green light. Slightly blinding actually.

When we all sit down, I almost fall asleep there and then. Several girls and Fishlegs' two friends immediately stand back up and go to the dance floor, while Astrid goes to the bar. Fish slaps me awake and I almost fall off my chair. Good thing he did though, Astrid wouldn't've been happy because she came back with another two Jägerbombs and 6 shots, 3 for the pair of us.

I eye the drinks, and say "What did I do to deserve this Milady?"

The cold air outside appears to have sobered her up a bit, as her words are no longer slurred. Still _very_ unsteady on the walking though.

"You bought me 2 drinks and that Piña Colada earlier. I'm paying you back."

"Well I'm not going to argue with a Valkyrie. They take the dead to Valhalla after all, so you'd kill me."

"Right little Norse mythologist aren't you?"

"Little!?"

"Just shut up and drink your Jäger."

I down it and shiver. This much alcohol doesn't appear to be agreeing with my system much. She does the same and licks her lips. When did they get so red and plump all of a sudden?

I find myself with 3 different coloured shots in front of me.

"You've got one apple sourz, a salted caramel and a B-52. Thought you'd appreciate the B-52 seeing how aircraft orientated you are."

I immediately began listing off things about the Giganticus Maximus, such as its sheer size, 8 engines in 4 pods under each wing…and then shook my head. Now isn't the time to nerd out over planes.

"Well thanks I suppose. Cheers?" I slur to her, raising the salted caramel.

"Cheers", she's back to slurring now.

I knock it back and feel it burn down my throat. We do the same with the next one, the apple for me and something else for her, I didn't take much notice, my eyes were fairly foggy around my peripheral vision.

I raise the B-52, and I felt like ruffling my hair, so I did. Then I looked and grinned at Astrid, who gave a large smile back.

We both knock back our last drink and slam them down on the table in the corner we're sitting in. Astrid then stands up and stays surprisingly still.

"You're coming to dance with me." She says, giving me no option to say no.

"Iiiiii…youu what?"

"You heard me. Don't make me drag you there."

I hate to break this you dearest, but I don't think I can walk at the minute, let alone-"

Before I know what's happening, I'm being fireman carried to the dance floor. It takes a few seconds for the spinning to settle (Gods this is such a sickly feeling).

Then I'm suddenly dumped on the floor and subsequently dragged up. I pay no attention to Astrid's friends who've fallen over at the sight of me over her shoulders (shouldn't it be the other way around?)

It's a blur. I mainly do with other people do in relation to the music, be it jump about, not do much at all, or whatever, I pay no notice. Then something a bit slower comes over the speakers and I find myself fairly close to Astrid, facing each other.

I tentatively wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer. I hope I don't remember any of this tomorrow. Or do I?

She responds by putting her arms around my neck, and I feel Ruff's eyes on us, as well as the others.

I feel the curves of her body pressed against me, I'm looking down and she's looking up. I fail to suppress the growth downstairs, and make a quick pray to any god listening out there for her not to notice. Damn that would be embarrassing.

Our faces are ridiculously close, I can see into her eyes, like the sapphires they are.

Our foreheads are touching, yet something is stopping me from going any further. I know what it is and I hate myself because of it.

I told myself I never wanted to fall in love again, yet I can feel that exact feeling ebbing away at my very being. But suddenly having that feeling torn away from me is something I would never wish to experience again.

"I'm not ready for this" I breath to her, hoping she hears me and doesn't storm away.

Astrid however, looks similarly pained. "Neither am I" she replied.

I don't know what I'm feeling now; love, pain, anguish, joy…we give each other an unsaid consent to draw each other into a very deep, very meaningful hug.

I can feel the rest of the nightclub deflate, but I don't care and I don't think Astrid does either. Throughout all of this I try my best to hide my bulge…it's not a bad thing is it?

We're there for a fair while, just rocking back and forth as the rest of the club gets back into its swing. Just when I think she's fallen asleep in my arms, I feel her wanting to break the hug.

"I think I need to go to sleep, it is gone 2am after all."

"I might join you on that, I might fall asleep standing up…not join you in your bed of course! But just the idea…yeah."

She giggled, and as we pulled apart, our hands linked and we walked back to Fishlegs, who was sitting there where we'd left him, drinking some…water? Or is that straight vodka?

He notices my gaze at his glass, "It's so I don't get a hangover tomorrow. Have one between each alcoholic drink you have and you never will."

His words mean nothing to me, I'm so high on emotions now this beats any drug in the world I think.

"We uh…might need you to walk us back Fish. I don't think either of us would be able to walk very far without getting lost." I say. He did understand me though my gibberish, right?

"Yes sir, personal chauffeur Fishlegs at your service. Anything else you might need? Hot water bottle? Cup of tea? Scone? Condom?"

Neither of us were paying attention to him, thankfully Astrid more so than me, otherwise I think she might of killed him. He realised this and huffed. "Alright fine, come on then lets go, I'm not getting any younger."

"Pass me your phone Hiccup", Astrid asked me once outside, and made sure we had everything.

I passed it to her and asked why

"Unlock it doofus."

"Yes Milady."

I let go of her hand and pull her closer to my with my arm around her waist, and her arm goes around mine. I watch her copy my number into her phone and then vice versa. She's good with her fingers then, able to work them on a small phone screen while drunk…

Aaaaand now is a good time to push that thought from my mind.

With Fishlegs pulling up the vanguard, we make it back to the accommodation in short order, and without falling over. Although both of our hands wandered down slightly before correcting ourselves. We go to Astrid's flat first to drop her off. She lets go of me and I feel cold all of a sudden in the part she's just occupied for the last half hour. Before disappearing through the door, she punches me on the arm for the third time tonight.

"What!? Is it always going to be like this?"

"That was for having to force you to dance with me." She then grabs me by my collar and pulls us together for one last time before giving me a brief kiss.

"And thats for…everything else."

She releases me and looks down, beginning to turn a very bright red. Then she darts into her dorm and shuts the door.

I'm on fire, literally. I forgot how good kissing someone was.

For the second time tonight I feel myself being hoisted onto someones shoulders;

"Because I don't think you're capable of walking by yourself at the minute."

I must have either fallen asleep or passed out on his shoulders. Either way, I don't remember how I got in my bed the next morning with a bucket next to it, no sign of a headache and my phone buzzing on my bedside.

I groan and pick it up to look at the time. 1213. Afternoon already? Wow. Then I glance down at the notifications.

*1 Text from Astrid Hofferson*

My heart does a triple take.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

[1] - Capisce, pronounced 'cap-eesh'. A wonderful word for 'got it'.

[2] - CAD; Computer Aided Design, also known simply as '3D work'. An absolute godsend lesson if you have coursework to finish.

* * *

So two chapters at once? Gods I'm spoiling you all. Not to mention this one is my longest yet (I'm so proud! Almost 2.5x as long as my next longest chapter, Ch9) I thought I might've been killed if some of you didn't get to see Hiccup and Astrid this week.

Do you people mind freakishly long chapters like this? I won't normally be able to pump out a chapter of this length but I got carried away with Hiccup and Astrid and didn't want to (wasn't able to more like, I love these two) cut it down anywhere.

A part of myself I couldn't help putting into Hiccup; the intolerance to alcohol! He's actually a bit more robust than I am, all it takes me is a strong Weißbier (damn German beer is good) and the walls start getting closer together. Add a couple of Jägerbombs on top and well…lets just say that at 6ft 4", people start getting very scared about how tall I am all of a sudden (it's a long way down!)


	11. Chapter 11 - Living A Lie

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 11 - LIVING A LIE**

 **Previously -** Hiccup and Astrid finally met up and get very close. Fishlegs insinuates several things and Snotlout gets dragged out of a pub by a bouncer. Hiccup and Astrid also agree that neither of them are ready to just dive into a relationship yet.

 **Thank you for all of the reviews and favourites peeps! If you're reviewing as a guest, please sign in (or make an account if you haven't already done so!), I'd like to thank you personally by message!**

 **Bold texts are from Hiccup,** _italics are Astrid._

 **Forward!**

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I just stare at my phone for a few seconds, waiting for the shock to subside and while I collect my memories. Surprisingly, I remember most, if not, all of what happened last night. Including the walk back in each others arms. Out of curiosity I take a sniff of my side. I even smell of her. Gods I was really out of it yesterday. Or early this morning should I say.

My phone pings again to remind me I have a message, and I tentatively open it.

 _"_ _U'd btr hav a hedache frm Hel aftr last night beanpole. I don't evr remembr havng a hangover this bad."_

I grinned like Christmas and Birthday had come at once. At least it was actually Astrid talking last night and not the alcohol.

Although speaking about headaches, I haven't got one. I don't even feel in the slightest bit dizzy. Times I have drunk a fair bit back at home (challenging dad is a bad idea) also resulted in me never getting a hangover. A theory that goes round is that because I'm so thin, I don't have anywhere to store the drink before it enters my bloodstream, so I get drunk pretty much instantly. Once I'm drunk, I don't need to drink anymore so I don't actually drink enough to give myself a hangover. Another perk of being thin.

 **"** **Nope. No hangover here. Never had one and never plan on having one either."**

I already know she's going to reply in some violent fashion or another. But my stomach interrupts my thoughts.

"Urgh shush you. Stop trying to rule my life!"

*Rumbles*

"Fine fine! I'll go and get something! Happy now?"

*No reply*

"Thats what I thought."

Something turned out to be a (very large) bowl of cereal. There was a reply from Astrid when I got back;

 _"_ _U littl shit! I wil drag ur sry ass bck 2 town and force alcohol dwn ur neck if its th last thing I do!"_

 **"** **Your grammar is killing me Milady. And please don't, I'm already broken in numerous places, I don't need the list of things wrong with me to go up if you don't mind."**

I get a reminder on my phone telling me I have a week left to upload my maths and computing coursework to the network. Well good thing it's already all done. I open up my laptop and begin to do so.

 _"_ _Fine. Does non-text speak suit you just fine? And you're such a wuss."_

I could already tell this woman was going to be a lot of work.

 **"** **It suits me just fine. How's everyone else in your flat?"**

Uploading the computing coursework is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I also hear someone moving outside, but I pay no attention to it.

 _"_ _Ruff's put some pictures of us up on FaceBook and is teasing me along with Katrina, and Heather's not said anything since she learned we spent the night together. All in all, mind if I wanted to get away from them?"_

It took a moment for my mind to click. Was she asking to come and see me? I'm not in any state to accept a visitor mind…I'm still in my clothes from last night…

 **"** **Echo block, floor 3 room 2. Come see me whenever you like."**

I hope thats what she meant. Glancing back at the laptop I see that the uploads are all done, and then I decide that I should probably buy a power supply for my desktop, seeing as I left the old one back home. Speaking of home I should probably text mum, I forgot to reply to her last text…

 _"_ _Coming now."_

Ohhhh crap. Battle stations!

I dropped the laptop on my bed and first opened the curtains, blinds and then the window, then pulling my probably rather smelly clothes off and putting some new ones on.

I hear the door to the common room open, and then;

"Oh hey sexy. Come here to see me?"

Well it sounds like Astrid just found out that Snotlout also lives here.

"No shitlout, you are in amongst the last group of people I would ever want to see."

I open the door to see Astrid. If I'm going to be at least a friend to her then the least I can do is not just leave her with him.

"But babe, theres no-one else her who'd interest yo-"

"Hey Hiccup!" She said brightly, cutting out Snotlout and walking over to me. The boy in question's jaw dropped through rock bottom.

"But that's useless! His father fights his wars for him and I knocked him out with one punch!"

Astrid stopped right in front of me, eyes wide in shock.

"Well Snot, it was more the stamp to the face and overload of pain to my fractured nose that did it more than your slug to my temple…" I say quietly, but loud enough for Snotlout to barely just hear it.

"HE DID WHAAAAAT!?" Astrid screamed, wheeling round and storming back the way she came.

"See people like him…-oof!"

Astrid had shot from one end of the room to the other and shoved him with such force, he was sent sprawling across the floor.

"PEOPLE LIKE HIM WHAT!? HUH!?"

So I feel terrible that the Valkyrie is fighting my battles now. Said Valkyrie had her foot on Snotlout's throat. I'd probably best stop her before she takes him to Valhalla. Or banishes him to Hel, the latter looking more likely with every passing second.

I hastily make my way over.

Astrid's voice was seething with venom; "You don't just insult Hiccup, but his father too! He's a soldier, willing to lay his life down for low-lifes like you so none of us live under the boot of Dagur the Deranged! He stood up for Hiccup because he felt guilty over going to war with the possibility of leaving his son without a father!"

An interesting theory, I'd never thought that he may have felt like that.

I rest my hand on her shoulder;

"Come on Astrid, he already looks like he's about to soil himself, and I really don't want to have to deal with the smell if that happens."

She puts a bit more weight onto his throat, before pulling her foot away. Snotlout is left gasping for air and rolling around on the floor.

"Ok. I…I'm sorry. I just, I saw red. How are you? How did I not notice your nose last night? We've been here less than a week, it can't have healed that quickly."

Snotlout made a particularly loud splutter on the floor at that moment.

"On second thoughts, can we go to your room? I don't think I can stand being in the same room as this steaming heap of dragon-"

"Yep! Come on just over there…" I feel like I'm manhandling a live nuclear bomb. Astrid was breathing deeply at this point, trying to calm down.

I close the door behind us, "Welcome to my humble abode. Sorry if you came expecting me to have something for you to do."

She looks around in wonder, and then at all my drawings on the wall.

"Whats that smell…?" Then looks at me, "You! You stink! Have you not had a shower yet!?"

"I didn't get time to between waking up and you saying you'd come, and I'll go now! Can I just-"

"Nope! Gods we could farm pure alcohol from those pores of yours!"

"-buy something online."

"What is it and I'll do it."

I was pulling a towel off my radiator, then gave her a curious look. "You sure? I've not put my card details or anything in…"

"You can pay me back. What is it?"

"It's a computer part."

She gives me a 'really?' look. "Come on, credit me with some intelligence, I know more than the different names of makeup brands. What, is it a hard drive, motherboard…?"

Well I certainly don't mind if she knows a thing or two about computers.

"Err power supply, HX750i. Be back in 5 then, and thank you."

"No worries." She said, picking the laptop up off my bed and pulling the sheets back to air.

Snot was gone off the floor when I left my room, and Fishlegs had taken up the position on the sofa, telly on mute and talking to his mother on the phone by the sounds of it. I didn't disturb him as I walked past and out of the common room towards the showers.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

That really was one of the quickest showers I've ever had. Normally I stand there and think about really deep and philosophical stuff like 'why do we exist' and 'where did the universe come from'. One of my favourite phrases is 'If school is not the place to sleep, then home is not the place for work'. Yet I used to do most of my sleeping at school and college, and even more of the thinking in the shower or in bed trying to get to sleep.

I get back to the common room, still drying my hair, and Fishlegs is in a heated discussion about relative physics with who I now perceive to be his father. We had also been graced with a rare visit from Tuff who was attempting to make beans on toast. I say attempting, the bread was in the microwave and the baked bean tin on the toaster. I think I'll check up on him later, just to make sure he doesn't burn the place down with his baked toast on beans…

"Hey Astrid I think we'd better keep an eye on Tuff becaus…oh."

Room, Spotless. Bed, made. Astrid was even piecing my computer back together on my desk.

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor before saying; "Please don't take this as sexist, but most men couldn't put computer parts together that quickly, let alone a woman."

She turned and gave me a 'bloody really?' look this time, then turning back to the parts. "My uncle never wanted me to be unprepared, so he taught me a lot. Computer needs fixing? I'm your gal. Got pests? I can deal with them. Hot dude getting pummelled? I can name a price."

Oh I see where this is going. I also catch a dark grin flash across her face as she says the last bit.

"I can take care of myself you know." I say bluntly, still drying my hair.

"Yeah and I'm the Queen of England."

"Alright Sasstrid, keep the tone civil eh?"

She screws the last parts together as I sit on my bed

"Right that should be fine, don't touch it yeah? I want to see if I've got it right and it works when you get that power supply."

She turns to face me.

"Are you ok? How is your nose?"

"OW! Thor almighty just because it doesn't look broken doesn't mean you can poke it!"

She giggles, "I thought you said it was fractured?"

"I did, well, Fish thinks it's only fractured so I took his word for it."

Her phone might be on silent, but I still hear it vibrate in her jumper pocket.

"Someone's just texted you" I say, suddenly overcome with thought.

"Eh?" She pulls her phone out, "Oh so they have. Got supersonic hearing or what?"

"Well lets just say that it's slightly sharper to compensate for my less than lacklustre eyesight."

Astrid pulls my desk chair up and sits on it, typing a reply into the phone.

What are we after last night? She clearly feels the same way I do by virtue of the fact that we're currently sitting opposite each other. Oh and I was practically called hot, like who the Hel thinks all 'this' is hot?

She has a strained look on her face. Thats a pretty long text she's sending, some poor sod on the other end is getting a paragraph.

I wait a couple of minutes; "Astrid…what…what are we?"

She looks up, big blue eyes boring into my own. Theres a sad look now, I feel bad by extension, Astrid came here to get away from the onslaught of Ruffnut, not to have to discuss my - our - problems and fantasies.

"I, I, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked…" Comes stuttering out of my mouth. Damnit, way to appear weak Hiccup.

"No it's fine, I've just -sigh - finished texting anyway." Hitting the send button at the same time and putting the phone away.

Time slows. I sit up straighter on my bed and Astrid shuffles about on the chair. Outside I hear Fishlegs giving Tuffnut an earful on not putting a tin of beans inside the microwave, lest he wants to create a directed energy weapon, or simply just blow it up. Bad move Fish.

I take a breath to say something, but Astrid gets there first;

"I think we both have some proverbial skeletons in our closets, problems which stopped us from going any further than we did last night. I'm not going to lie, you are quite possibly the nicest person I have ever met, and you seriously have the best arse out of any guy in the world…"

All this to tell me I have a nice backside!?"

"…but I can't do it because of said problems."

I think now would be a good time for me to say something;

"Astrid…" I start, leaning forward towards her, "…the world isn't split into having problems and not, sometimes it's the imperfections you may have which makes you perfect in the eyes of another."

Now I can add 'philosopher' to my résumé.

Astrid snorts, "you say that like you don't have any issues yourself. Don't say otherwise you said it last night that you, that _we_ weren't ready for this." Then looks down at her knees.

"You're right. I do have problems, something I think we should both consider telling each other what the main stopping factor was ok? Not our whole life story, but at least get a feel for what's eating the other."

Astrid snorts again, "Look at us, known each other for less than a day and already spilling our hearts out to each other. Ruff would have a field day."

I smile before nervously scratching the back of my neck, "I have always uh, thought that a relationship is built upon three things; Love, communication, and trust. Each one can be viewed as - if you'll pardon the metaphor - a game of tug of war, if one person starts slipping over the line it's not because their opponent is too strong, it is because they're not pulling hard enough themselves."

I let a brief pause take place, to let Astrid take it in. Wouldn't it be opportune to be walked in on at the minute?

"I'd like to hope that love would come easily between us, if we so chose to let it, and as with the other two, talking about it would kill two birds with one stone; communication through talking, and trust through being able to trust the other with our secrets, with the lies we've been living."

Astrid finally looks up, and I can see the gears turning in her head.

"If you don't mind then Howard, I'd like to go first."

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **So the Valkyrie has more than a few chinks in her armour, and Hiccup is willing to dive back to his past to help make sure his future is torment free. I guess I'll see you next week.**

 **Thanks for reading! You're all awesome!**


	12. Chapter 12 - Confessions

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 12 - CONFESSIONS**

 **Previously -** The morning after their night out, Astrid comes to see Hiccup in his apartment, only to run into Snotlout. She gives him what for and then Hiccup and Astrid have a chat about what's holding them back.

 **I really struggled writing this chapter, this is my fourth rewrite and I'm still not satisfied with it. If you like it, well…yay?**

 **Trigger chapter warning.**

* * *

I nod my head. "You have the ball."

Astrid takes a deep breath before talking;

"Well, that text I just replied to was from my ex. We were together for 3 and a bit years, it's not something you just end from one week to the next. I think I told you last night he was a dick in the end?"

I nod in response, we're both leaning forward, foreheads almost - but not quite - touching.

"I originally ' _fell in love_ ' with him because we were so alike, we met in a martial arts club and it just went from there. It was fine for about a year…I don't know why I'm telling you all this…"

Her face was all red, like she was fighting back tears.

"If it helps, I am going to give you the power to destroy me, utterly ruin my being." I clasp my hands around hers, "I don't know why I trust you either, I don't believe in coincidences or any of that but telling you just seems…right, for lack of a better word."

I get the slightest of nods in acknowledgement, "then after the first year and a bit, things…started going wrong. I found out he had fallen in with a gang, and spent the better part of eight months trying to get him out. I did things that I regret…including drug running a couple of times."

I tried not to gasp, I knew she had a few skeletons in her closet, but not quite a skeleton this big.

She carried on without breaking her step; "The third time they asked me to do it was a couple of weeks back, that was the end of it. There's no evidence of me doing anything so I'm not tied down legally." Another pause while she collects her thoughts, "You say you're going to give me the power to destroy you…well…you've now got the power to send me to prison for a very long time so we're square."

She really wanted things to be fair didn't she?

"One more thing, about my uncle."

I think I already know, there was a marine who was dishonourably discharged from service a few years ago in a very high profile case. No-one thought he'd done anything wrong but the damned geneva convention said otherwise.

"My uncle, colour sergeant Finn Hofferson, was court marshalled and dishonourably discharged under some stupid law. My family takes honour very seriously so they all felt shame at it and no amount of black eyes or bruised bones I could dish out at school and college would make the insults in corridors stop."

She looks down at her knees again before saying in a voice softer than I'd believed her capable of; "I'd almost wish I'd brought in the family axe sometimes and…I dunno, made a few human ribbons."

I cast my mind back to one of dad's rants about it, maybe I can make her feel better? Even a little bit?

"Fearless Finn," I start slowly, "didn't deserve a court marshall." Astrid's head jerks up at the word 'fearless' and her right eyebrow raises questioningly, her face quite a prominent shade of red.

"You're separated from the main line, out numbered, out gunned and in a situation where death is the overwhelmingly likely way you're going to get out. You happen upon a Berserker who's wounded but you kill him. It was a land of kill or be killed, he would have come back in a week and maybe killed one of your own men, maybe even yourself. Finn would have gladly laid his life down for Berk, and this is the pay-check he gets, politicians sticking their noses in places where they don't belong."

Ok, so shellshocked Astrid is a new face. Would she let me compile a log of all the different faces she makes?

"Finn…how…?"

"Trust me, your family wasn't the only one who was in uproar when he was sent to The Glasshouse **[1]**."

She slowly nods and I can see the cogs whirring inside her head. Next thing I know, she's leant over and hugging the life out of me, I tentatively wrap my arms around her in response.

"Your turn." She whispers into my ear. I have a voice at the back of my head telling me not to tell her, reminding me what happened the last time I gave someone my heart. It gets ignored.

Astrid breaks the embrace and sits back down, any trace of her prior weakness gone from her face.

I barely know her. Yet I trust her. That is why I am telling. I also marvel at how easily she just spat out what held her back last night, it's almost a full minute before I begin to fulfil my end of the deal.

"I'm not too sure where to begin…telling isn't something I'm used to." I take a deep breath, "I've had a long held belief that my problems are my own, not for anyone else to deal with…"

I look Astrid in the eye, and she just nods, like an approval.

"I…I, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this, this is weak of me. Guys aren't supposed to be weak." I finally splutter out.

"That's the stereotype, yes."

I say nothing in reply, head hanging down and moved back from Astrid slightly.

"Do you think I conform to the gender stereotype? By all means I should be plastered in makeup and studying nursing or hairdressing. I don't listen to what the world expects me to do, and neither should you." She says, ending in a very definitive tone.

"Right, so…ok, (Deep breath), back at secondary school **[2]** , I was bullied. Quite badly. You know, the usual, death threats, pinned to the floor and head smashed repeatedly against those really old and thick radiators…yeah. Five years in a hell hole. Didn't help everyone thinking I was gay, every single girl was a complete bitch. I didn't trust any of them.

Then I went to college, I met someone. We…became friends very quickly, both of us engineers. I realised that we were almost identical in our personalities, the only exception being her strive for control."

I snorted and smirked, as much as I hated to admit it, they were good memories.

"But anyway, about half a year of beating around the bush, I'd sort of fallen in with her friend group and we were extremely, _extremely_ , close, she hinted that we should…erm…get together.

Now you can imagine what suddenly dropping that on someone is like, especially someone who was 17 and last had a proper friend before he was even a teen!

So…that happened. If you're wondering where this is going then it's like you: I can't let go. She just…ended it. Called me one night a few months later and just said that she didn't think we were right for each other, no reason at all."

"Well thats just…eh?" Astrid says incredulously, squinting at me slightly as if trying to work something out.

"Well it happened. No matter how much love I gave to her, it didn't change anything. We stayed friends for the rest of that year and the one after on her request. I'm _really_ regretting that, because now I feel like I have a massive hole in me, she's not replied to any of my texts in the last four months…"

I feel bad at saying I feel lonely to Astrid, but is it too much to hope that she can fill the cavern left behind?

Theres a silence in the room. I'm done. I've laid my life out to Astrid like a book, so what do we do next?

Astrid - again - gets there first, before I can think of something.

"So how is your nose? Im so sorry for not noticing it last night. Probably a good thing we didn't kiss eh? Would have put you in a world of pain." She says softly.

I lightly move my fingers around the bridge of my nose. I took a look at it earlier in the shower and it's barely visible. Still a little swollen however, and I still look like I'm lacking a months worth of sleep.

"Yeah, pain. Love it!"

She giggles. "Now seriously Hiccup, how are you?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you as the gentleman here?"

Astrid eyeballs me, "Hey, I asked first!"

I shrug as I say "Fine then, I'm feeling alright. Never told anyone that before, absolutely nobody knew about us so I'm breaking a promise to keep this a secret…"

"Well screw promises! She broke your heart!"

"Forget broken heart, it completely shattered my soul."

It was at this moment that we heard the door to the main room bang open and a rather loud voice follow; "Right then! Which room are those two lovebirds in…flipping heck Tuff! The beans are supposed to go in the microwave! Not in the toaster!"

Astrid huffs and rolls her eyes, "Well looks like this party is busted."

"All good things must come to an end…Ow!"

Astrid has started poking me in the chest. Several times. She has fingers of steel rods I'm sure.

"Stop. Being. So. Pessimistic. You. Son. Of. A-"

It's my doors turn to slam open now. Astrid spins around so fast she whacks me in the face with her braid. Hair I can confirm, smells far better than it tastes.

"Where are my babies!? I hope you're making me babies!" Ruffnut cackles with Katrina, who in turn says;

"Awww look at them, practically on top of each other", to which I scoot to the wall behind me and Astrid moves the chair back towards the table, all within a split second.

I recognise Katrina from last night. She's got dull copper hair and is fairly tall for a woman, towering over Astrid and Ruff, almost as tall as me actually.

Both of the intruders laugh loudly at our movements, outside I can hear Fishlegs giving Tuffnut a lecture on why putting metal in a microwave is an absolutely awful idea **[3]**.

"You know sex doesn't happen with you two sitting opposite each other, you need to-"

"Ruff!" Astrid cried out, "I think we both know how that works!"

Gods, this girl had no qualms did she? I almost feel sorry for her and her twin brothers parents. Unless they were equally as mad.

"So what were you doing then?" Katrina asks with a smirk.

"I…we were…uhhh…"

No point beating around the bush. "We were burying some skeletons, where they belong." I say. Hopefully it's not too much to ask for them not to pursue it…

Ruff's childish side kicks in, "Ooooh skeletons, did they die an honourable and painful death?"

Both Astrid and I smack the palms of our hands to our foreheads. Then we realise that we've both done the same thing and laugh.

Once we had both sorted ourselves out, - much to Ruffnuts annoyance that she couldn't work out what was so funny to us - Astrid decided that a later run was better than no run at all. Turns out she wants to race in the marathon here for charity. The better you do, the more funds you raise towards your chosen charity. And also its apparent good training for becoming a PTI.

Ruff is called out by her brother (much to her annoyance), and Katrina follows, though not before I notice her looking me up and down.

"Why don't you join me? Forget about what I said about not coming to see me again at the track but if you want to sign up you need to kinda be fit for it."

I give her an incredulous look, "But Astrid, I have 5 years before then…"

She pouts at me, "Come onnnn I'll teach you, it'd help me learn about instructing as well."

"I'm not going to win this am I?"

She gave me a mischievous grin and pulls a small notepad out of the front of her hoodie.

"So how many press ups can you do?"

"Were you planning this!?"

"Shush. I just asked you a question."

"Ummm…6 or 7…" I admit sheepishly.

"Sit ups?"

"Not sure."

"And how fast can you run 2.4 kilometres?"

"You have literally just asked me the 3 fitness requirements for entry into the air force."

"Well done munge bucket. What do you want? A medal? So at the end of this year I want you to be able to 40 push ups, 70 sit ups and do the run in 9 minutes."

This day was going absolutely swimmingly.

"But thats twice as many push and sit ups as I need! And I only need to do the run in 11 minutes and 11 seconds!" **[3]**

"Exactly!" She says, snapping the pad shut and putting it away, "Glad to see you have at least half a brain up there somewhere." And finished up sticking her tongue out at me.

"Might lose that tongue in a minute if you don't put it away…" I mutter.

"I'm sorry, did you want 60 press ups and 105 sit ups?"

"No ma'am!" Then I quickly snap to attention and give her a mock salute.

"Excellent! Get changed into something you can run in and I'll see you outside in two minutes, I need to have several, very long, words with Ruff…"

"Sounds exciting…" To which I don't get a reply as Astrid has already gone.

So this is less than 24 hours and my life is already being ruled by someone else. Didn't I spend months wishing to get away from this? And what about work I have to do.

"Ah screw it. I'll never get another chance like this." I say under my breath, and walk over to my wardrobe to look for something to wear.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **[1] - The Glasshouse, military prison. Not a nice place to be, even if you're just visiting. Trust me.**

 **[2] - Secondary school, 11-16 years old for all you non-english folk!**

 **[3] - Specifications are true at time of writing for entry into the Royal Air Force as an Aircraft Technician (Mechanical) between the ages of 17 and 29; 20 push ups, 35 sit ups and a 2.4km run in 11 minutes and 11 seconds.**

 **I see that a couple of you are confused as to why Astrid didn't notice Hiccup's fractured nose when they met up for drinks. In all honesty, I was so into writing what they were doing on their night out I forgot his nose was damaged at all. I apologise for any confusion and will try (note try, I'm not perfect) not to make any more silly errors :)**

 **I realise that Astrid may appear OOC for some, but no-one is infallible. This is her weakness in this reality.**

 **Going along the same vein as the A/N at the beginning, I think I may rewrite this story some time, not before I've finished this one, 'If You Test Me, You Will Fail', or the following one (not disclosing the name yet!), but likely after I've finished that last one. I will (of course) be leaving this one up.**

 **Thanks again, you're amazing! All of you!**


	13. Chapter 13 - Trial Run

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 13 - TRIAL RUN**

 **Previously -** Hiccup and Astrid have a little talk, which abruptly ends with Ruffnut's arrival. Astrid then 'persuades' Hiccup to come and do some training with her.

 **Guest 1 - Thanks for reviewing, thank you for taking the time to do so :)**

 **Guest 2 - Thank you so much! I wouldn't say I'm anywhere near Foxy's level of writing, so that means a heck of a lot to me. I'm glad you feel that way, many thanks again! :D**

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I last did sports almost 3 years ago, when it was mandatory back in secondary school. I held all the records on the rowing machines and could somewhat decently do sprinting and endurance running (on a good day. Bad days ended up needing the asthma pump…).

Gods I'm out of practice.

Astrid first had me do a warm up - nothing too dissimilar to what I do with my back every morning to make sure that it's still working - consisting of all stretches. Then came the 10 (incredibly difficult) press ups, followed by 15 sit-ups.

And then I was forced to run. Literally. I now know what it's liked to be flipped around (thankfully I landed on my feet, the old gymnastic skills still there somewhere) and then told that I would land on my face next time if I didn't start going there and then.

"Just one lap for now." Astrid had said.

To which I replied; "I'm still recovering from the press-ups earlier…"

*Cracking of fingers*

"…aaaaand I have suddenly and inexplicably got a strong longing to go for a run. Be right back."

I had been taken to the main running track. I was grateful for the fact that there was no-one else there at the minute (save for a couple of people at the back corner of one of the stands, but we just ignore their…awkward position), because my actual running ability left a lot to be desired. I might have been able to do both sprinting and endurance running, but I tended to specialise in sprinting. As such, my first lap resulted in my complete and utter burn out in the second half.

When I manage to almost literally crawl back to a very smug looking Astrid, the first thing she says to me is; "you look funny when running."

"Wh…why…exactly?"

"Just the way your hair gets windswept and then that _epic_ burnout on the second corner. You know why that happened?"

I just collapsed at this point onto my back, "Yeah, too much…energy…too soon." I managed to huff out.

"Exactly, you took off like you had a hungry dragon after you. And get up you lump, your muscles are going to seize up if you just lie there."

I just manage a low rumble from the back of my throat.

I hear a sigh from up above me; "Come on or do you want another lap?"

"Whats stopping me from just walking away?"

"Well first I would give you a dead leg so you couldn't go _anywhere_. And second, I think it would be a wasted talent."

I opened the eyes which I hadn't realised I'd shut and stared at her, relaying that I wanted an explanation.

It worked, "I'll tell you if you get up, and don't groan at me! Nothing is free in todays world."

Ugh. I can never explain how I feel stupidly comfortable when I need to be somewhere. I took the longest way to get up, just rolling onto my front and getting up that way. I realise that I'm acting like a drama queen because it's more likely than not that Astrid has been far more exhausted than I have ever been, considering how much fitter she is than I.

I'm standing now, hunched over slightly from the lack of breath, but still standing.

"Satisfied Milady?"

"Not really. But it'll do." She replies with a smug look.

I give her a blank look, then - "I've upheld my end of the deal. Your turn."

"Well think about it, you're a tall person, you have long legs. You can either keep pace with someone shorter and use less energy than them, or outpace them at the cost of expending more energy. That is a very heavily dumbed down explanation…"

"Oh thanks!"

"You're welcome." She replies, with a wink. "When you run, remember we're going for long distance here not sprinting. Try to lengthen your pace instead of speeding it up. You save a lot of energy that way. Next time I'll get you to started with some high knees and planking."

"So I'm finally released from this torture?" I joke.

Mock pain flashes across her face, and she raises a hand to her chest as if holding her heart. "You wound me, Hiccup. Not quite yet, warming down now." Which turns out to be several stretches. Gymnastic skills coming into play again, I'm able to touch my toes bending forward and then grab each foot individually while sitting down. I catch her looking at how far I can go and then we catch each others eyes. An nonverbal challenge was issued and accepted. Astrid would start something and then move on when (inevitably me) couldn't go on any further. It's only when she just dropped into the splits that I had to draw a line.

"No. Just no no and more no. First if I were to just drop into doing that I would murder my balls, and second I physically don't stretch that far!"

Astrid laughs in response, "What if you were to start it and then I push down on your shoulders huh?"

"Gods woman! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Couldn't walk for a week!"

She laughs again and looks contempt to just sit there...I wish I could take a picture of when she throws her head back and the blonde hair catches the autumn sunlight in the right way. It's the most captivating thing I think I have ever seen.

"Can you however, do this?" I say, cracking into a wide grin. I sit down and kick my canoe sized shoes off and glance at Astrid again. She's come out of the splits and is sitting cross legged, a curious look on her face and head tilted slightly. A genuine interest I note.

I put my right leg around my neck and feel the familiar burn in the muscles there. Astrid is showing a look of approval, but I have another ace up my sleeve yet.

The left leg then went around and on top of the right, and Astrid's mouth formed a small 'o'. It was an extremely comical look and I would have loved to have just sat there and laughed at it except it felt like my left leg was going to just get ripped off.

Getting out of the position is far more awkward than getting into it. The way my feet lie means they interlock slightly, so I have to whack them out of position pretty hard. My legs smack onto the track with a resounding thump. I'm ignoring the burning in my legs (I can't do that very often) as I look at Astrid. She notices it and changes her surprised look into that trademark evil grin that I have gotten to know so well over the past few hours. Damn. I have absolutely nothing on this girl.

She just does exactly what I did. Without any holding back.

"Bullshit. Just utter bullshit." I cry out, and collapse back down onto my back. Defeated.

"Hehehe. Ten out of ten for effort though." She gets up and starts collecting her belongings from the side of the track. I follow suit.

"So uh...whens the next time you're going to grace me with your tuition?"

"I'm thinking Wednesday, I only have a lecture in the morning then. Is late morning, early afternoon good for you?"

"Oh, I start at 0850 and finish at 1730. What about 1800?"

"Wow, full day huh? Yeah I don't have an issue with that, not like I have much of a social life here."

We had started walking back to the apartments, and I figured I needed _another_ shower. We were talking about trivial stuff, mainly about the university itself and the courses we were on. While I was really happy with what I was doing and the people on it, Astrid was more reserved. She was also happy with the course content, but was not at all fond of the people on it. Especially the guys who treated her and the other girls like sex objects. One guy especially (who went by the extremely strange name of Dogsbreath. Reminded me of Snotlout and if they knew each other) kept trying to giver Astrid his number or messaging her on FaceBook.

"Whoever implemented the block feature should be given a bloody medal!" She exasperated, after a long rant on the subject. I stayed quiet, should I say something wrong and mess up like I usually would.

We eventually did get to the apartments, and went our separate ways after a rather brief hug. No matter how short it was though, just touching her set my nerve endings on fire. It was a wonderful feeling, excluding the perpetual nervousness in the pit of my stomach.

Upon entering the common room, I see (trudging up the stairs was an absolute nightmare. I just hate how you need to expend more energy the higher you go. Damn gravitational potential energy) Fishlegs is leaning over the central island, covering the entire surface with paper. It looks like he has had a massive clean out. If I could sneak past, I would so we could avoid that 'chat', he wanted to have with me. However, that was kind of impossible because the door in had a carpet beneath it. He simply heard the door open.

"Ah Hiccup, I was thinking about that talk…"

"Not to be rude Fish, but could this wait for a few minutes? I'm pretty sure I smell worse than a pile of rotten fish at the minute."

"I was actually going to say that I thought there was a high likelihood of you having enough on your mind after a second date with Astrid this morning so we should reschedule for another time. Next weekend I am thinking as I am metaphorically 'snowed under', in work…"

"Oh, yeah sure...wait hang on, second date!? That wasn't a date Fishlegs! We were just...practicing...running together." I splutter out.

"Suuure. I believe you that you only went there for this ' _training_ '." He responds, with an accusing tone.

"Whatever…" I say, and dive into my room to grab the towels I used this earlier. They were still fairly damp, but it would do.

I'll check what work I have to do when I get out, and after some food. But for now, I was deciding on whether or not I needed to have a freezing cold shower to deal with that growth downstairs...

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **I'd just like to point out that at this moment in time, Hiccup and Astrid are NOT a couple. That comes later :)**

 **General note, I do not claim to be an expert in running or teaching people how to do so! I am writing what comes to my head here.**


	14. Chapter 14 - Paradise Lost

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 14 – PARADISE LOST**

 **Previously -** Hiccup and Astrid spend a little bit of time alone together at the running track and have a challenge to see who can stretch the furthest. Much to a disgruntled Hiccup, Astrid wins.

Remember **bold** text are texts by Hiccup, and _italics_ are by Astrid.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Mondays.

I hate Mondays.

Forget everything I said about having a lovely timetable just over a week ago. Getting up should be illegal.

Today is maths and mechanical science with Basil. It's not bad, but I may-or-may-not have found more interest in playing chess with Carn on our laptops for the maths lesson in the morning. But hey, I had a voice recorder with me and was recording everything he was saying. I had to take time out one or twice playing chess when Astrid texted me. I forced myself to stop replying after the second time when Carn leaned over my shoulder and asked out loud; "So who's Astrid then Hiccup?"

I swear if steam could vent out of my ears…

I was thankful for when lunch swung around, as it was CAD after and (for those of us moving onto a course with pilot studies attached next year) some information regarding what is going on with flying. What though, we don't know.

While everyone else is going down to the local supermarket or maccers, Carn and I head back to the library as is becoming the norm for us. Sure, we get on alright with the rest of the class, but neither Carn nor I want to have to pay for food every single day for lunch. Walking up the stairs to the second-highest level (quiet study), I notice Heather out of the corner of my eye sitting alone at one of the tables, and I make sure to pick our table away, and out of sight from her if she decides to look up.

I wanted to play another game of chess with Carn sitting opposite, but I think he gave up after getting pummelled by me three times in a row, so Carn settled for playing else something on his fancy ass gaming laptop and I was doing the work I should have been doing earlier, with the voice recorder for descriptions on parts of it.

It is a short while later when Heather just appears out of nowhere and sits next to me. I had my head so far into the maths that I gave a small spasm from the shock, not unlike the ones I get when I wake up after dreaming that I'm falling and then hitting the ground. Heather must have looked around herself and noticed us.

Looking up at her, the first thing I notice is that she is wearing different clothes to what I briefly saw her in earlier; a t-shirt and trousers compared to a short crop top and a skirt which should be redefined as a belt it's so short. The first thing which crosses my mind is not how much skin is suddenly on show, but how cold she must be outside with more than half her body exposed to the wind. Literally I am sitting here in a winter jacket and fingerless gloves.

I unplug the earphones from my recorder and discreetly set it to record. Heck no am I risking Astrid turning up now and barking up the wrong tree.

"Hi Hiccup!" She says enthusiastically. "How's everything going?"

I don't ask why she's changed clothes in case she asks if I'm avoiding her (Yes. Yes I am), instead "Gods Heather, is it not cold enough outside for you!?"

"Well at least you remembered my name, most guys just stare at my tits and miss the name tag" she says, putting specific emphasis on the second 'my'. She then subtly puts her shoulders back in an attempt to make said tits more prominent.

"And I can tolerate a little cold, I have fat in all the right places to keep me warm" she giggles, wiggling her bum on the chair and shaking her shoulders to make her breasts jiggle a little.

I spare a brief glance at Carn, who is looking at Heather with a mix of complete bewilderment and lust. I then look back to Heather;

"Well that's nice to know…perhaps uhhh…you could lend me some because it is kinda annoying being cold indoors even when you're wearing a skiing jacket and gloves."

Ok that wasn't my best, but try telling an 18 year old guy to think straight when there is a pretty good looking woman practically telling him to screw her.

She laughs heartily, drawing the attention of nearby tables, "Oh you're so funny Hiccup! You can share anything I have anytime", finishing off with a wink.

"That is…nice to know Heather, thank you." I stumble, I am really struggling for words here.

Heather looks at Carn before turning back to me. She puts a hand on the inside of my leg and squeezes slightly. I spasm at the move and snap my legs together involuntarily. Her touch feels good, but it doesn't set fireworks off in me like when I hug Astrid…

Astrid…Astrid, I should stop this going any further, otherwise I may not live to see my next meal after I dug a super deep hole with the aforementioned female.

"You know, maybe we could take this somewhere…more private. I think I know the perfect place for some private doings…" Heather whispers, her hand still on my leg and moving up now. She must have noticed that I am literally rock hard now. Not good.

I bolt up out of the chair and say to Carn; "Gods Carn look at the time, we need to get running to the CAD room." One of the worst lies I have likely ever told, but it's not like I'm ever going to get graded on them.

It takes him a second to grasp what I've said, by which time my laptop and pad is already in my bag. "But Hiccup, it's only…"

He notices my glare.

"…Oh would you look at the time! We'd better get going before Basil puts our balls in a vice."

Thank Odin he played along. It's not every day you have to find a way out of having sex with someone who most guys (or girls, if you're into that sort of thing) would do without a second thought.

Heather however, seemed to have other ideas. She got between the desk with my bag on and me, before pressing her breasts to my chest and then standing on her toes. "Come onnnnn, it'll be amazing for the both of us. I'm sure you won't be missed for one lesson."

Literally a throwback to the days back at secondary school when absolutely no-one did miss me. Bad move Heather.

"Actually Heather," I start, sidestepping her to grab my bag, "When you teach a third of a class because it is too much for the regular teacher to handle, you're kind of needed. So yes, they would miss me for one lesson."

She makes a grab for the ID card around my neck before I can step away.

"'Howard Haddock', well I'll message you later Mr. Haddock. Perhaps we can do business another time." I take a step back with my bag and notion for Carn to start walking towards the stairs.

"Maybe, goodbye Heather."

"Goodbye Hic."

Today is just not going to go well at all.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"Did you just…really…?"

"Yes Carn I just turned down a woman. She wasn't a bad looking one but I just turned her down."

"But why!?"

That was the general gist of the entire conversation on the way to the computer rooms.

"Because I'd like to try it on with someone else who wouldn't be too happy if she found out I'd slept with someone else, starting from last Friday." I deadpan.

Carn smacks his hand to his forehead. "That makes no sense, she would have had you right there and then and you still said no!?"

It's only Monday. And this conversation is tiring me out faster than anything.

"Yes ok! Get over it! Did you not hear the part where I said I wanted to try it on with someone else?" I raised my voice, and then realised what I'd done and walked slightly faster out of embarrassment.

Me talking about relationships out loud is not something I am used to.

The remainder of the journey to CAD was done in silence.

" **You might want to be wary of anything Heather says from right about now onwards…** " I sent to Astrid as we sat down.

I logged in and with Carn on one side and Albert on the other. I suddenly get the feeling that my day is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Well it didn't get too complex right away. The few hours I spend in front of a computer screen was mostly my refreshing myself on electrical science. I haven't done it since I failed physics a couple of years ago in my first years at college; I utterly suck at it.

I haven't got a reply from Astrid, she must be either busy or just hasn't read it. I am a little worried, but I really don't think she is the type to just ignore me because of anything Heather might say or and rumours.

Most everyone else is listening intently to our German teacher on how to convert a 3D object into a 2D technical drawing. He was a slightly clumsy man and swore quietly in German every time he made a mistake. I laughed the first couple of times understanding what he was saying, damning his computer and cursing God. Dad is a pure Berkian, born and bred like the Vikings of old back in the Meridian of Misery, but mum is foreign, from all over the place in mainland Europe. She actually served as a translator for the army and air force after she met dad while he was on station abroad, so some of the language has filtered down to me.

Albert asks me for help all of a sudden and I realise that the rest of the class is actually working now. He's done well so far but is struggling to dimension anything with a circle. There is a certain knack to get it right in this program, so I show him.

"Instead of just clicking and then dragging to dimension a straight line, you have to click, hold and drag over the diameter of the circle for it to recognise that you want to dimension the radius, otherwise it tries to do it like you would a straight line."

"Ah right, so like that then. Excellent. Many thanks."

"No problem." I reply. I lean back in my spinney-chair, rolling my shoulders and then clicking several sections of my back. Such a nice feeling.

My phone then vibrates on the desk. Thinking its, Astrid I snap it up in my hand. However I am met with a disappointed feeling in my stomach as it is only one of the supermarkets I'd applied to asking me to call their job centre to enquire about a time and date for an interview. Oh well, I might be able to afford buying Christmas presents this year if I get a job.

"Anybody special Hiccup?" Carn asks innocently enough, but I know he's fishing for something else.

"Nah, just one of the local shops wanting me to come in for an interview."

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed Carn, expecting me to say something else?" I then turn and look at him with a knowing smirk.

"Oh no. Not at all."

I get another text. Picking up my phone slower this time, I see that this one is from Astrid. Something about someone having a vendetta against her? The preview doesn't show much from the lock screen, and it suddenly takes me 3 attempts to unlock with the pin. When you really need to get into your phone, you constantly get the password wrong…

"Why does she have a vendetta against me Hiccup? I haven't done anything bad to Heather have I? Well excluding possibly threatening her when she apparently tried enticing you to bed…that's not a bad thing is it?"

Oh dear. The crap appears to have hit the proverbial fan. I stand up and make for the door, slipping my phone into my pocket and making up some excuse about going to the toilet to the teacher.

I don't head for the toilet, but instead for the front door and I stand outside. In the cold. There aren't really any other places to do this however without someone listening in. I scroll through my contacts list to Astrid's number and call her.

It calls for three times before I hear what sounds to be Astrid insulting somebody;

"…half troll!"

I yank the phone away from my ear for a second to let the ringing in said ear stop, before putting it back and saying cautiously;

"What did I do to deserve that Milady?"

"No not you, Heather. She guessed it was you calling me so asked to speak to you, to which I told her to boil her head."

"What a lovely thought. Really, who wouldn't want to willingly put their head into a boiling vat of baked beans or oil?" I say sarcastically.

"If I could Hiccup, I would strangle you via phone line."

I refrain from saying; 'Also a lovely thought, your hand emerging from the microphone on my phone and strangling me where I stand.' But that might be too far. So instead I say;

"What happened then? Or should I tell you what happened in the library earlier first?"

"No no no, I've got a pretty good idea, Ruff told me…hang on a sec would ya?"

The sound of her voice is replaced with that static. I take the time to move from near the front door to a metal railing next to the stair case. Taking a quick glance to the heavens, I guess it's going to start raining soon. Very, very soon.

"Still there?"

"Copy, uh sorry, yeah still here." I say.

"I'm just leaving my flat to go to the library. So anyway, Ruff told me what happened, she saw from a balcony on the floor above. Heather came back to the flat and flopped onto the couch next to me, tits half hanging out. First thing she says is, 'so, you two are a thing, right?'."

"Riiiight…"

"My first reply was that we were 'just friends', and she quipped that we were apparently extremely possessive friends. What did I have that she didn't. Apparently any other guy on campus would have fucked her right there and then and you didn't because you like some girl who wouldn't kiss you."

"Well we have only known each other for 3 days, and it's not like we're a couple…"

"Don't you dare take her side Haddock…" Comes a raw growl from the other end of the line.

"…but yeah she was quite slutty. I'm pretty sure Carn sitting opposite me looked at her more than I did." I quickly correct myself. "So what happened next?"

I hear a huff from Astrid, "I said to her that you weren't interested in her and not to force you into anything. That set her right off, usually I'm the one who's instigating a fight, not the other way around."

"And I suppose you knocked her into next week?" I have a feeling I already knew the answer.

"Damn right I did. I should start keeping a tally of who I deck, that's Snot three times, Heather once and you once."

"Me…once…? Hey that doesn't count! I landed back on my feet!"

Astrid giggles over the phone line, which is a relief to me as it's a change from the angry Astrid a minute ago.

"I didn't take into account that you had done flips before. I'll know for next time though."

I think I'd best start walking around with some padding for my head, in case I land headfirst next time…

"So what are we going to do about Heather then? I don't want to have to look over my shoulder every five seconds to make sure she's not sneaking up behind me. I don't even think she wants a proper relationship with me, I think she's just after sex." I hesitate slightly on the word 'sex', it still being a slightly taboo word with me.

"Over my dead body…" Astrid mumbles.

"Again, Astrid, neither of us owns the other."

"Yet."

"Well…we'll cross that bridge when we get to it shall we? Anyway I need to get back to class. My teacher must think I have the runs or something, the amount of time I've been 'in the toilet.'"

"Ewwww that's a thought I could have done without! Go on scat!"

"Yes Milady. We do need to talk about the aforementioned predicament though."

"Some other time. Now get back to your lesson! I'm not going to be the one responsible for you failing this year!"

"Well I technically do more teaching than learning in computing…so uh, catch you later then? Bye."

"See ya Hiccup."

And with that, she ended the call. Just in time too, it has started raining.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"Trouble in paradise Hiccup?" Carn asked.

"Carn if I knew where paradise was, I don't think I'd ever leave."

I came back into the room and sat back down near the door, where I was logged in. Basil was taking to our CAD teacher and no-one was seeking my assistance.

"Ah good, Howard you're back. Can I just have everyone who's studying or thinking about taking pilot studies with their course next year on this table please?"

Heads perk up, most back to their computer screens while 3 of us (two guys called Sydney and Lance, and myself) hop to the middle table and wait while Basil stares at us, pop eyed.

"Heavens! Last year most of the class was taking pilot studies!"

"Does this mean that we get more flying hours?" Sydney asked hopefully.

"Ah. No, you see because you have paid the extra for this module on the course, that only allotted you a specific number of hours. I'm sure that if the instructors could take you up for more for free however, they would. The course starts in week beginning next month, you three are in an early afternoon slot so I will see you at the car park on the Tuesday of that week at the car park at 12 o'clock. We will be gone for 3 hours so you don't miss any lessons here, I advise you bring some food with you for lunch. Here is an updated timetable for each of you to take into account the new lessons. Do any of you have any questions?"

There is silence from the three of us.

"Absolutely nothing? Not even what type of aircraft you'll be flying?"

I can answer that one. Slightly too well actually;

"Those of us after a pilots licence for fixed wing aircraft will be in a Grob Night Terror **[1]** , and for rotary we'll be in a Robinson Terrible Terror." I may have spent a little bit too long on the internet looking at what aircraft we'll be flying in. I am after a rotary pilots license because it is very difficult to find even a commercial company to hire people with my problems in the fixed wing industry. The year after next, we move on to the Bell Razorwhip and in our final year, the Boeing Stormcutter. I am really looking forward to that last year…anyone who guesses why gets a cookie.

"Well that clears that one up. Right so I have a meeting to go to now, I shall see you tomorrow, don't forget the computing coursework is in for this Friday. Do not do not do not forget to upload it."

That's not a problem, I uploaded that one last week.

I make my way back to my station, after the other two people and I acknowledge each other's presence.

Well, the thought of finally going flying again has counteracted today's earlier event.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **[1] - I am basing the Terrible Terror on the Robinson R-22, Night Terror the Grob Tutor, the Razorwhip on the Bell 412 and the Stormcutter the Chinook. Yes I know students wouldn't move on to Chinooks for a university module, I can only wish…**

 **Sorry I'm not uploading weekly, I am under a metaphorical mountain of work at the minute. Thank you for bearing with me.  
**

 **Thank you for reading :)**


	15. Chapter 15 - The Skype Call

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 15 - THE SKYPE CALL**

 **Previously -** Hiccup deals with a somewhat angry Astrid for the first time, after Heather tries to take Hiccup back to her apartment for her idea of fun. Hiccup also gets his briefing for flying lessons.

 **Guest -** No, Hiccup is not / was not gay. Hiccup's ex will be mentioned by name in a later chapter, might even see her if I can come up with a small plot arc for it. However that would be an...interesting plot twist, to say the least.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"So have you got a girlfriend yet then son?" Spoke the giant on my laptop screen.

"Dad! Gods why did the first question you have for me have to be that…and the answer is no! Like it always has been!" Of course I neglect to tell him about my ex and even the existence of Astrid.

The three figures on my screen all laugh; mum, dad and Gobber going from left to right. I was in my room, cautiously drinking a can of Berk Pride. I'm sitting at my desk after just closing the curtains (it's night) and the people on my screen are in the living room. Big sofa meant for five and they barely fit the three of them on.

"So how have you been then Hiccup? You haven't texted me much since you started last Monday."

"Well I'm not dead yet if that's what you're referring to. I like to think I make a cracking chilli when it comes to food."

I leave it there, waiting for a response before I realise that they're wanting a bit more than just that little sliver of information that I've given them. What am I supposed to tell them? 'Oh also, I stalked a beautiful girl for a week, got my face pummelled, got utterly drunk with the aforementioned girl and then almost had a lap-dance given to me by somebody else.' How about no?

"Uhhh, I've given out several CV's, have an interview with one of the local supermarkets next Monday actually. Oh and I've also got the timetable for my flying lessons! I start early next month."

"Oh well done! You'll be in a Terror won't you?"

Before I could reply to my mother, dad just had to interject; "Jus' remember not to touch anything you're not supposed to eh?"

Of course dad had to refer back to the days of when everything I seemed to go near would break - inexplicably to me, but to everyone else I was the problem - and after I accidentally incinerated a rather expensive composite sledgehammer at the ripe old age of fifteen (it wasn't my fault!) he hasn't been able to let go of the fact that everything I touch seems to implode. Even though that small problem has mainly righted itself.

"Dad if things were still that bad, then by your logic most of the campus would be destroyed."

Mum decided now was the time to put an end to an argument before it even started; "I don't believe we called so you two could start attacking each other via proxy, or shall Gobber and I come back later?"

We both promptly shut up, much to Gobber's amusement.

"Aaaaaanyway, yeah I'll be on the Terror. There's an air experience flight next month just for fun, and after that is when we start ground school and theory."

"Well just stay safe. I sent my son away to get a degree, not to come back in a wooden box."

Trust mum to worry like that.

"No mother, death is not in any of my plans for the foreseeable future."

"I've also noticed on my Facebook, I've got a long list of people you're suddenly friends with, are you doing that well?" She added the last bit at the end with barely concealed happiness. Dad and Gobber were also looking hopeful too.

However, also trust mum to check _my_ Facebook for that. I had less than 10 friends (of which most were family) before I started this semester, and now it is somewhat closer to 25.

"Couple of lasses amongst them too I might add." Dad chimed in, looking to catch me off guard.

Damn.

Why did I send Astrid a request. She's easily recognisable in the photo too, younger sister on her shoulders and laughing with that smile on her face.

Not that they could single her out, I am (don't ask me why) friends with Ruff and Katrina too. Thanks Gods for that.

"Uh yeah, this isn't a male only university you know."

"No son I'm sure it isn't." Dad laughed, not pursuing the subject any further due to a not-so-subtle jab from mum.

And so this back and forth chat with underlying insults carries on for the next hour and a bit, before dad has to go because he has to wake up stupidly early for work, at which point mum and Gobber follow.

I learn that there's an airshow in a couple of months a few hundred miles down south from dad. It may still be colder than the north pole here occasionally, but it's permanently warm down there. I could wear full arctic weather gear up here and shorts down there at the same time of year, easily.

This is going to be the largest airshow ever in Berk, and likely will be for a long time. It's also going to be the last one the Night Fury's will be attending, one on static display and another performing both the roll demo and aerobatics. I instantly mark the date in the calendar on my door. It's during a weekend, both days but I can only attend one because I'll have to spend a day travelling to and from. Saturday it is then.

"We'll mail you a train ticket a bit closer to the time and pick you up a bit closer to the airshow, we don't exactly want to do a 1200-mile round trip to get you, take you there, back again and then home for us. We'd be driving most of the night too if we had to do that, picking you up after lessons." Mum explained. I had already worked out the distances involved and guessed that I was taking the train because of the aforementioned night. As such it was slightly _painful_ to listen to her going over it. Someone remind me why I left home again?

"Got it. I should be allowed to get away early, it's not like I learn much from CAD on a Friday anyway." I reply nonchalantly.

"Be that as it may Hiccup, don't get lax about this year after what happened at college." Dad said sternly.

"Dad," I exhale, "I'm not going to miss a lesson where I spend more time doing other people's work than I do my own! Can we please, you know, drop this!?"

Well that wasn't exactly the way I wanted this to go.

"Alright, fine. I'm just concerned for you is all." He says, raising his hands in defeat and getting up. "Have a nice week Hiccup, speak soon son."

Mum and Gobber left soon after, once it was made clear that the atmosphere was now too awkward to continue.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I've powered down the laptop and gone to bed with a mug of hot chocolate with some notes I wanted to finish off, when my phone buzzes. It's too late at night for any of my family or Astrid so my first guess is it's mail or one of my games bleeping at me.

Damnit Heather. Sometimes I hate social media.

Eh. I can answer that in the morning if I have to. I proceed to put the phone into "do not disturb" mode. My notes consist of mainly mechanics from science and a little bit of materials (so basically chemistry).

I might only have been here a bit over a week, yet I've got more paper stacked up than I had in a month back at college. I feel a pang of envy at those who are not on a foundation year, I've heard that they only have to be in for three days a week and even then, it's only for a couple of hours a day.

I berate myself for complaining about the workload, I'm lucky to be here as it is. If I hadn't been offered a foundation year out of the blue by the university here then my backup plan was to simply join the army like dad did and start from the bottom in one of the mechanical regiments. The family wouldn't have been too happy but hey, I'm over 18. I can make my own decisions, right?

Time passes quickly while I pull pages out of my pad and file them away into a binder. The hot chocolate turns to cold chocolate as it is forgotten, and filing turns into rewriting, and before I know it the last thing I can remember is staring at a blatant error in some mathematics working out. I wake up with my head leaning on the wall behind me and an awful creak in my neck. First time falling asleep working, had to happen some time.

I force my head to turn to look at my alarm clock, much to the dismay of my neck. 0643. I have no idea what time I fell asleep and there are still a couple of hours left before I have to be at the whatever place I need to be at on a Wednesday. I shove all the books and the folder over the side of the bed and wrap myself up in the quilt. I am quite literally freezing to death. I am also going to regret wrapping myself up in the quilt, it is going to make getting up in an hour the absolute death of me.

On second thoughts, today is Wednesday isn't it? Haven't I got running with Astrid later at…sometime later. The brain it appears doesn't want to cooperate. Hadn't I better be awake for that? I mean it's not as if I mind being beaten by her.

"…snap outta it Hiccup…" I murmur from below the blanket. I know exactly how this thought is going to end and I do not want to have to get up to clean the results.

Thinking about some rancid and dirt cheap cheese, egg and mayo sandwich I once had to eat (thank gods there was someone who ate it for me) on a school trip was enough to calm me down, and fall back asleep.

An hour passed in what seemed like seconds, and the usual trick is for me to roll off the edge of the bed without my blanket, which forces me to get up. Otherwise 'five more minutes…' turns into five more hours.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

The day just cannot go any slower. If someone told me that there would be a day longer than the history lessons I used to have - where the teacher was as old as the subject she was teaching - I'd've called them mad.

I stand corrected.

Thankfully Basil isn't too interested in me, and more with still sorting out admin for people who are too lazy to do it themselves. There were actually a couple of friends who thought they were on a business course. How do you get something that wrong!?

Regardless, I managed to get through the day without killing anybody or at the very least bashing their brains out with a chair (I'd say my people skills are improving). Carn made no mention of any women, but instead buried himself in doing work.

So all I have left to do today before I take a _really_ early night to bed is Astrid's training. If you can call it training. Perhaps physical torture would be a better description?

I walk back to my apartment alone and also find the apartment empty. Fishlegs is either locked away in his room or out somewhere. Regardless, I drop my bag off in my room and send a text to Astrid asking if we're still on for later before quickly getting changed into something thats more run worthy. Tonights culinary delight is simply jacket potato and beans. Perhaps farting will help me go faster later, I doubt I've recovered from last weeks session if I'm completely honest with myself, and last nights sleep didn't exactly do much good for my health.

It is halfway through eating that I get a reply from Astrid;

" _Yh, c u l8r_."

Honestly I wonder if she was taught English at all. I then shrug my shoulders to myself and carry on eating. I'm distant from the music playing quietly from my phone and am quite content to just sit here and stare outside at the setting sun through the window at the opposite end of the room. It's an extremely photogenic scene, low clouds in the distance slightly warping the tree line and the red sky. The days are getting fairly short now in the run up to Christmas.

Well anyway it's almost the point at which I should leave. Time to wear down some tarmac.

Water bottle, check. Phone, check. Sanity, lemme just look for it…

I notice that there is a lot more activity going on by the track than there is last week, people having a go at one of the sporting societies the university offers. I wouldn't have minded joining a rowing society, but there isn't one nearby. I take a scan of the area from my viewpoint at the base of one of the stands. The stands themselves are barely in use, just a couple of small groups using them for social catchups. However the track is an incoherent mess of people running round it. Or should I say, _trying_ , to run around it. The equipment for the high and long jump has been set up and that's generally the extent of it. There is a very large indoor climbing wall and swimming pool, both of which I'd imagine are very full right about now.

Pulling myself back to the reason I'm here, I search for a head of blond. I see several of them in the distance, which is problematic for me. Which one is her?

A voice to my right answers that question;

"I'd be amongst them myself if I didn't have someone to babysit." Comes a teasing voice. I turn to face her and give a blank face.

"Thanks. Glad to know you care."

"Oh I care alright. Which is why we're going to start with some stretches right abouts now."

I roll my eyes, thankfully Astrid doesn't notice otherwise I would be in a world of pain.

"Right here?"

"Right now." She grins

Which one do I start with then?

Astrid notices my hesitation and says quickly; "Just copy me."

Astrid drops her stuff on the inside of the track and does a lunge, which I copy except I place my water bottle and phone down, not drop it.

We're watching all the people run round the track, and there's a fair number of them. A couple of people - one of either genders - definitely look like they know what they're doing and have gone round the track several times without slowing. However, everybody else has died after less than two laps.

"You're going to be able to beat all of them when I'm done with you." Astrid says, noticing I'm staring at all the people going past. My head snaps to her.

"Um Astrid, I hate to break it to you but I'm more of a-"

"Sprinter, yeah I know." Astrid finished for me; "Fast twitch muscles and all I remember from last week. It's trainable, plus your height is advantageous."

I take a deep breath, sitting on the floor to change stretch to grab my feet. "Right." I say, unconvinced.

"See the guy blitzing it round the track now? Coming up on this straight."

It's not hard to miss him. Big guy, dark hair and still going round the track like a bat outta hell.

"You're not expecting me to be able to beat _him_ , are you? He's been doing it for years by the looks of it."

The man saw Astrid and winked at her before - if somehow possible - picking up the pace and went even faster.

"That, is Dogsbreath." Astrid spat. "Oh and he's been doing it for years yeah. Smoking dragon nip that is. It gives him a massive stamina boost but he's going to be utterly wasted tomorrow, flying around like that. It's going to be fun running rings around him, he gets quite angry the day after a high."

This man appears to be one of the rare people who doesn't have a general high and hallucinate from having some nip. I'm don't know if that makes him lucky or not.

Astrid picks up her notepad and opens it; "Right then. Last week you did 10 press ups, I forgot to say last week I want you to do 10 every day for a week, then increase it by two every Wednesday. This week I want you to start with 10, same as last time."

"You're serious about me doing this, aren't you?" I say, getting down onto my hands and knees and into a press-up position. "Me getting into the air force."

Astrid squats in front of me, balancing on her tiptoes, counting the number of press-ups I'm doing. It's no easier than last week, my arms feeling like they're on fire after the third one. By the time I have gone up and down 10 times, I wouldn't mind just detaching my arms and being done with it.

"Yes I'm serious. Added benefit for me of you being my guinea pig. Experience for me for when I have to teach in my third year."

"Oh so I've been demoted to guinea pig now?" "You had a rank in the first place? First I've heard of it." Astrid teased.

I automatically change into the sit up position and my 'tutor' holds my feet down.

"Sometimes." I start, "I could. Strangle you." I huff every time I come up.

"Mmmmm, I might let you someday."

"Ast…I…Astrid!"

"Hehehe. Right now I want you to jog on the spot, bring your knees up so they're parallel to the ground. 1 minute on my mark, any slacking and the clock will reset, understood?" The order comes fast, leaving no room for questioning."

"Yes ma'am!"

"Mark."

And bring on the embarrassment, I can feel my hair waving around every time I change feet.

"Good job keeping the knees parallel, half way."

"Well it's not as if it's a difficult thing to do."

"Oh you'd be surprised at how many people lose concentration and they slack off."

"Then that just makes me look good doesn't it?"

"Hardly." Astrid scoffs, "Just means you don't have the attention span of a brick, like most guys."

"Aren't you pleasant today!? Sarcastic little shit."

"Honestly Hiccup, I could say the same about you. Now, for calling me a shit, you can do a lap, 30 second rest and do another one.

"I'm not even going to argue with you."

"Good to see you already know your place."

I would make some witty remark, but that would just invite trouble so I keep my mouth closed. I set off, this time not starting with all guns blazing.

Despite my best intentions, I'm already on my way to being dead by time I'm back around after being lapped by this 'Dogsbreath' once.

"You. Still. Expecting. Me. To. Beat. Him?" I huff. I've only got one more lap left haven't I?

Astrid smirks. "When he's not high as a kite obviously. Prepare to resume in ten seconds on my mark."

Already!? I've barely caught my breath…

"Mark!"

Ugh and off we go again. This time my feet barely raise off the floor. I'm moving at about a joggers pace, a stitch beginning to form on the right side of my body, below the ribs and above my hip bone. Ow.

Despite my complaining, it passes by quickly enough and it's hard not to flop to the floor at Astrid's feet. People are still running around the track and jumping into pits of sand.

"So, a total time of four and a half minutes exactly. Not bad for a third of the course Haddock, but you're going to have to do much better than that. Assuming you didn't go any slower for the other two thirds it would take you 13 and a half minutes to do it."

My ears are ringing…

"…? Did you listen to a word I said?'

"Wha…?"

"Wow. Your attention span shrinks to that of a goldfish when you're exhausted duly noted. Now copy me."

I understood the words 'copy me', which I did after emptying my water bottle like it was going out of fashion. The warm down was pretty much identical to last week, stretching out with my legs before sitting down and working on the rest of my body. I'm pretty much sane again by time we're done, prompting Astrid to ask;

"I've got a late start tomorrow if you want to meet up for some coffee? Theres Starbucks and Costa and I think a third one being built just up the road."

"My day starts at 1030 so I can do, as long as I don't have too much I won't flare up the old caffeine addiction again."

Astrid stares blankly at me for a second, hesitating; "Come on then, how many was it a day?"

"Nine…" I mumble.

"Pardon?"

"Nine" I say again, this time loud enough for her to hear.

"Odin's goat NINE!?"

"That wasn't the worst of it. I had at least 5 sugars in each."

"I will be monitoring your coffee and sugar intake tomorrow _very_ carefully tomorrow mister." Astrid threatens, cracking her fingers menacingly.

"Of which I don't doubt." I say, standing up. "Now if you'll pardon me, I smell worse than a Zippleback gas canister. This metabolism doesn't come without cost you know."

We start walking back to our apartments slowly. One does not expend that much energy and regain it in a moment;

We agree to meet at 0900 at the Starbucks. I bid Astrid farewell and skip the shower, I'll do that in the morning. For the first time in a very long time, I went without bothering to put my pyjamas on.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **Gods has it been over a month since the last update already!? Sorry! It seems that sometimes I can blitz a chapter in a night and other times my brain just wants to sleep…**

 **What did you all think of Race to the Edge? I'm ashamed to say I used up my free Netflix month to watch it and did so all in one sitting…**

 **So anyway, bit of a fluff chapter, not much happened. From here on out things are going to speed up a bit, I'd be here forever and a day if I wrote out every single day from Hiccup's first year at university!**

 **Oh and I will upload a Christmas chapter…when it's not Christmas here in the real world. Timing is a wonderful thing :P**

 **Thanks for reading! ~**


	16. Chapter 16 - Anyone for Coffee?

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 16 - ANYONE FOR COFFEE?**

 **Previously** \- Hiccup has an embarrassing Skype call with his parents and Gobber, and then goes down to the running track to be abused by Astrid.

 **Supposed to upload this last week…forgot. Sorry! I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on…**

 **Enough about me, weiter mit der Geschichte!**

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 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Up. Hold for three.

Down. Hold for three.

Up. Hold for three.

Down. Hold for three.

I count ten push ups, and then I collapse onto the floor. In my exhaustion I misjudge my head falling to the floor and it lands with a bang.

I lay there for a second, dazed, when there is a knock at the door;

"Hiccup are you ok in there? I heard a bang…"

Before I can answer, he opens the door and peaks in;

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"Dying Fishlegs. Who on earth convinced me to go and run around a running track once a week and then in excess of 70 press ups a week?"

"You're a logical person Hiccup, you work it out." Fishlegs said bluntly, and with that, he put his head back through the door and left.

"And what is that supposed to mean Mr-Galaxy-Brains?" I reply, though the comment is lost to no-one but the surrounding walls.

Ok this is strange behaviour coming from him. I force myself up off of the floor (with great effort) and follow him outside. What meets me is something akin to a typhoon blitzing through a library.

Ok maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration but the metaphor remains true for a large portion of the floor. Fishlegs is squatting over a large number of sheets of paper messily strewn all across the floor. In the corner of the room is a pair of empty ring binders.

"Fishlegs! What's happened!?"

"Well Hiccup. Take exhibit A." He points to the pair of binders, "and exhibit B." Picking up one of the sheets and pointing to the way the holes have been ripped, "and infer for yourself what has happened."

"…did they get ripped out? They all look like they've been ripped out of a binder." "Thats precisely what happened Hiccup! Snotlout and some tall dark haired guy were in here earlier. Snot waved my binders around like they were his favourite toy and the other one just laughed his head off. Looked at me like he was going to rip my head off every time I so much as twitched…" Fishlegs started off in a loud voice, only to trail off toward the end.

I check the time on my phone stowed away in my back trouser pocket. I have some spare time to help Fish before I am due to meet Astrid;

"Need a hand Fish? I have some time before I have to go."

"Um, yes please. Just collect pages with the same colour triangle on the top right corner, that denotes that they're from the same module." Fishlegs says, beginning to pick up papers and sorting them into separate piles. "I'll sort their date later."

I begin to do the same, before wondering how on earth he had accumulated so much paper in a little over a week. So I posed the question;

"Fishlegs, why do you have so many sheets? Like I'm expecting two binders worth of double sided at the end of this year and you've filled two binders of a mix of single and double by the looks of it before the second week is out. Eh?"

He turned to face me and his cheeks went a shade of bright pink;

"Well…call me over prepared but…um…yeah thats exactly what it is, just being over prepared…" he stutters, twiddling his thumbs like it was some deep dark secret being revealed.

"Thats…nothing to be ashamed of Fishlegs. Heck I should be doing the same but I don't quite have enough brainpower to cope with introducing new modules before I've barely started another. Be proud that you can do that." I said in as calm a voice I can muster.

Fishlegs stayed quiet for moment, clearly thinking;

"…Thanks, Hiccup. I just can't help but think that I'm just a massive - literally - nerd and weirdo. I mean discounting all the paper I have, I study maths and physics for Thor's sake! Who does that nowadays!?" He had started waving his arms around at this point, rather violently in fact.

I'm startled by the outburst. Something's clearly rocking his boat beneath his normally calm and collected exterior.

"Aren't we all mad and nerdy Fish? I mean, come on, we're at university after all, practically the highest form of education you can get. You're on your way to being at _the top of the tree_. People like me who study engineering, thats the practical application of science. We'd be out of a job if there was nobody like you to study the theory behind it all. Heck, my family going back to before my great grandfather would be out a job because nothing would have been discovered in the first place."

The guy opposite me nods slowly, and then carries on with collecting like papers. I leave him to his thoughts and do the same.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

Oh Gods I'm late. Damn I'm late. Blonde valkyrie warrior goddess of death is going to kill me.

I burst into the already bustling coffee shop. There are a few looks my way but I don't care about any of them but one. She's sitting at the back, eyes boring into my skull and taking my soul with them. I make my way over to her, trying to navigate my way past people without knocking them over with my overly large backpack. I sit down opposite her and she raises an eyebrow;

"If you're not 5 minutes early…"

"…then you're late." I finish off, "Which makes me 15 minutes late. Sorry about that, but Fishlegs appears to be the next target of the Snot man."

Astrid rolls her eyes, "Please, dear Odin, don't ever let that, that…that thing breed. Oh yeah, here's your coffee." Pushing me a tall glass, "Latte, double shot, 4 sugars."

Perfect. Literally. My idea of a perfect coffee. "How…?" I began.

"Oh I asked your mother."

"You ask…you…I…say that again."

"I said I asked your mother. Through your friends on Facebook. Here I'll show you the thread."

Astrid pulls out her phone and opens up the chat with…yep. That's mum alright. Do I get mad or angry or am I supposed to feel anything at all?

She then also puts an extra two sachets of sugar in front of me;

"Your mother also said you might need some more of this stuff to cope. Would she be right?" She asks with a knowing smirk.

"Damn right." I say, ripping the sachets open and pouring them in. "I hope you know my life is now going to be turned upside down. Last girl my parents know I spoke to was over a decade and a half ago back on the army base I grew up on. Dads actually going to have a field day. Oh his happiness is going to be unbearable…"

"Quit your whining munge bucket and drink the coffee I paid for. You also still owe me for the power supply for that computer of yours. Damnit that thing was expensive."

"Yeah uhhh…sorry about that. Why did you pay for it? I could have just not ever paid you back?" I questioned. It was a legitimate question, I was curious to know what made her trust me so much in the first place.

Astrid threw back a mouthful of coffee before replying;

"Call it a woman intuition. Regardless if you hadn't paid up, I reckon I could take you." She smirked again.

"You love everything violent don't you?" I replied. It's true though, very few people have actually promised me so much violence, ever.

"Well as long as you're fine with it all. I'd hate to scare you off before we actually got to anything meaningful."

It's my turn to swallow a load of the bitter liquid before replying;

"You're actually certain somethings going to happen between us aren't you? I mean, how do you know I'm not gay or something? You're hinging a lot of bets on me and I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to deliver."

Theres suddenly a silence. An awkward one. I can see the gears turning inside her head, formulating an answer.

"Woman's intuition?" She says again.

"Weak answer."

"Right, ok," she leans forward, over her coffee and closer to my face, quieter so people would struggle to overhear, "you want to know the truth? I trust you. Stranger danger yada yada, I'm a risk taker if you haven't guessed already. I get high off danger. Is doing this with you dangerous? Hell to the yeah. I may have only known you for a few days at most, but I have never met anyone like you. Everybody else has sexualised me right from the word go, so forgive me it feels like I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. And it's less about you being able to deliver, but more about whether or not we can stand each other isn't it?"

I let a couple of seconds pass before saying;

"You didn't actually answer the 'what if I was gay' part?"

I get a blank stare off Astrid;

"I just pour my heart out to you…and that's the question you want answered most?"

I remain mute through what is _possibly_ a rhetorical question.

"You really think you can fool me with that too? Honestly through all those brains of yours," tapping my head with a finger, "you can really be as thick as two short planks." She carries on, barely able to keep a straight face while trying not to giggle and wanting to put on a slightly angry face to show the strength of her resolve.

The result was a strange contortion of her face. I snort with laughter myself;

"Thick as two short planks? Wow thanks. And what am I trying to fool you with?"

"I've seen the way you try oh so hard not to look at anything but my face. And I remember bits of the night we went out drinking, the way we were walking back. It suggested something other than you being gay. Oh and that's not the most obvious thing."

I raise a quizzical eyebrow;

"Go on…" I say, elongating the 'n'.

"You have in-explicitly said you're not." Which was said in a tone which indicates finality. That was her trump card in this argument. I cackle crazily on the inside, I've always liked a good debate with someone and it looks like I might be able to have one with Astrid some time.

"And what if I'm just staying closeted?" Raising my coffee glass for some more liquid energy."

"Hiccup?"

"Yes?"

"Stop talking. You lower the IQ of everyone in the room when you do. You're not fooling me."

"Mmmmh. Might have to steal that one from you." I say, looking past the intended insult and making a mental note of it. "Oh and in an abrupt change in topic, there's an airshow down south I'd like to go to in a couple of months, if you'd like to…?"

"If you weren't going to ask me, I was going to ask you, I'm going with my uncle. The last display flight of the Night Furies? Wouldn't want to miss that. I saw the drawings on your wall of said Night Furies, they're excellent. I had to remind myself you were studying engineering and not art."

"Oh…well that was easy." It's a weight off my shoulders. I thought it would be much more difficult to ask the question but it came out easy enough.

"Strange idea of a date that you have though."

"I…no…it's…" I splutter. Definitely not what I had in mind.

Astrid laughed;

"Don't worry your little head over it, I was just trying to get a raise out of you."

Oh. Great. Thanks. I scratch the back of my head nervously.

"So uh yeah…ummm"

"So what is the plan?"

"Well, uh I'm getting a train ticket in the post from mum and dad for a Friday afternoon, and then they're picking me up from a station closer to the airshow. We'll likely be tenting it and staying in it Friday and Saturday nights. Yourself?" I hope she has the same plan, but it's unlikely.

"I'll just copy that. Finn knows I might be going with someone so he's left when and how I get there open. We've been every year and we're not willing to break tradition quite yet."

Oh. Well that simplifies matters.

"Where are you sleeping? Tenting it like us?"

"Yeah, we can't exactly afford twin rooms at the local hotel…"Astrid trails off. My concern has just increased, how could she afford that computer part then?

"Astrid, how skint are you, exactly?"

She blushes briefly, then hides it;

"We're not skint Hiccup. Just…a little short of money."

"So did you actually pay for my power supply, or was that overdraft?"

No reply, just a guilty stare down at her coffee.

"Right, because gambling with money you don't have is actually an excellent idea. Here;" I open my bag and pull a check book out.

"You actually carry one of those around with you?"

"Oh and lets not forget that I carry about a bike pump, screwdriver set, alan key set, cables to charge any kind of phone, portable battery, a wireless router…shall I go on? Anyway, this should refund you for the power supply. Just write your details on it and cash it in." And I slide her the now very expensive slip of paper.

Astrid snatches it up from the table and examines it with a sharp eye;

"I know how a check works…hey it didn't cost this much!"

"Aaaaand maybe it pays for the coffee too…" I admit. Oh well.

"Change it for the amount it was." She states bluntly. It wasn't even a question.

I look at my phone for the time and stand up abruptly;

"Gods is that the time? I must go. Thank you very much for the coffee and introducing yourself to my dear mother, I'm sure I'm going to get a very enthusiastic call from the devil herself later." I'm going to be a little early for whatever lecture I've got first, but better than starting a war eh?

Astrid rests her forehead on the palm of her and sighs;

"I hate owing people. You know that?" She says with a defeated voice.

"You don't owe me anything. Just think of the coffee as a thanks from me for getting the computer part."

Astrid nods and stands up and skirts the table to pull me into a tight hug. I can't hug back because my arms are pinned to my sides and no amount of wiggling appears to be able to free me from her clutches.

"Thank you" She says quietly. I don't think I'll see the grateful side of Astrid too often, if ever again.

"Don't worry about it. I hate seeing people struggle…can I breathe now please?" I had to say that all in one breath, there was no way I could refill my lungs with the precious air around me while I was having the life force squeezed out of me.

I can feel her reluctantly let go and she pouts at me;

"Fine, but you're reeeally warm." Emphasising the word 'really'.

"Well if you want to just latch on to me sometime…we'll see. Anyway I must go, I'll text you later or something."

Astrid sits back down and pulls a rather decrepit old silver-going-bare-grey-plastic laptop out. I make a note to myself to give it a good clean up some time;

"Not if I text you first." She teases, "Now go on, you said you had to go like five minutes ago now."

"Ok ok I'm going!" I give a brief wave and turn on my heel. The shop has emptied a fair bit without me noticing, and it's quietened down appropriately.

I leave the front door with a good buzz in me. I think today is going to be a good day. Well. Excluding the inevitable text from mum later asking who Astrid is.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **More shameless fluff…I regret nothing! I know I said with the last update things were going to start speeding up starting with this chapter but looks like there was a minor delay with that…**

 **Oh and a cookie for whoever can find the (albeit slightly altered) Sherlock quote.**

 **Thank you for reading, see you next time :)**


	17. Chapter 17 - Now Ive Found Another Crush

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 17 - NOW I'VE FOUND ANOTHER CRUSH**

 **Previously -** Hiccup and Astrid's coffee adventure leads them places, from information gathering by Astrid from Valka to Hiccup's definition of a date as an airshow.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"Come on brain, work…" I muttered to myself. I was contorting every cell in my brain into a new shape trying to recollect how to solve R(x) +R = 40 and 1/R(x) + 1/R = 8.4 could be solved. This was electrical science, why on earth was it in this maths exam?

"Ok could you make sure your SRN number is at the top of each page and hand in your papers to me please?" Basil said, standing up and clapping his hands. I gave up right there and then, dropped my pen and collected the numerous sheets of paper which were strewn about my desk. I quickly checked the top of each page to make sure my 8-digit ID was on the each page and stood up. Looking around, other people were scrambling to write down last little tidbits of information, clearly trying to scavenge every mark they could get.

We've got an extended lunch to give Basil time to scan the papers in and mail them to us. It's still our responsibility to then upload it to the central server for marking. We might have turned up for the test but unless we upload it by half five the same day, we have the standard 40% cap. This also means people can edit their exams if they use another scanner before the upload time…

I was just about to do my usual hide in the library for lunch, when I heard my name from behind. Instinctually I turned my head to look for who called out to me.

"Woah woah woah and where do you think you're going Howard?" Castor said, grinning widely and clearly finding something amusing.

"To the LRC, why exactly…?" I reply. I've been going there for a month now, sometimes with Carn and sometimes by myself.

"Why don't you come down to the pub for lunch with the rest of us?" motioning to the group of about 8 behind him, "you're always hiding in the library."

Albert interjects at this point with "Yeah come on, there's only so many books you can read there, if that's what you do over there…" finishing up with a voice like he's trying to incite something dirty.

I hesitate before answering; "The pub on campus? I haven't got any money in my wallet…"

"They accept card, have you not been there yet?"

"Nice try Haddock, try another excuse."

Well. Looks like I'm not escaping them. In all honesty, I can't really be bothered to argue the toss as to why I shouldn't go. The exam has drained me of the ability to do much beyond walk and basic conversation. Exams always do.

"Fine. Fine you win. I'll go." I exhaled. Most of the aforementioned group had gone on ahead and there was just Castor, Albert and myself standing outside the classroom. Carn was off Thor knows where, probably helping his father somewhere on campus for some extra money.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Albert said with an obnoxiously loud and deep voice. He was one of the older people on the course. Very tall and with a beard to match, though not quite as tall as me. The man himself started barreling down the corridor after the rest.

I just stare after him. "Is he…?"

"An alcoholic? No." Castor finishes for me, "But he is unfortunately rather fond of the poison. You'd know if you would come with us to the pub."

"Alright stop poking me with that…anyway I'm not sure Basil would be very happy if I turned up from lunch every day moderately drunk."

"Haddock it might be a pub and we might be students, but we don't get pissed every day." Castor responds, a question hinting in his voice.

"Well, all I need is a good couple of pints of anything and the walls go from this," I put a five to six foot gap between my hands, stretching my arms, "to this." Quickly shrinking the gap to that of a standard ruler, making the 'swoosh!' noise to accompany it.

I turn to go down the stairs when Castor replies; "You're joking?" Looking at me incredulously.

"Nope. You're looking at the lightest weight you'll ever come across. I've never had enough alcohol to build up a tolerance to it so…yeah. Normal people can spend an unholy amount to get drunk and for the same effect on me I just need less than what it takes to power a lightbulb for a year. I think my mum was right when she once said I was low maintenance."

"Well then Mr. Haddock, I look forward to having a proper night out with you to see if your thesis proves correct."

Perhaps snorting was the wrong thing to do? If anything I probably strengthened his resolve on the topic.

"You think I'm joking?" The voice that was just now full of laughter had been swiftly replaced by one which is stone cold.

"Yep. I don't think you'd attack me here or anywhere. You know, CCTV is a thing." I say, trying to put a strong voice on. I have no doubt that he's joking, but this is all a part of the fun isn't it?

"Oh I'm sure there are more than a few blind spots in which we could beat you senseless." Castor's serious façade is cracking slightly at the seems, only just managing to keep his own voice from keeping a deathly blunt tone.

The mention of CCTV blind spots and being 'beaten senseless' sent a shiver down my spine, reminding me of Snotlout and a previous beating. Something which I'd rather not think about. My mind went into overdrive, did he know? What are the chances of that scenario coming out of his mouth? I decide that it's just coincidence, I'm making links between things which aren't really there. I just put it down to the old anxiety and paranoia.

However, while it only takes me a couple of seconds to think this - and more - through, it is long enough for my companion to notice a hesitation.

"Hey, you know I was joking right? Attacking people isn't really on the list of things I do."

The sound of his voice pulls me back toward reality. I remember that I am now on the ground floor and about a minute away from where I want to be.

"What? Oh yeah, sorry, um, yeah I'd imagine it isn't."

What now lays in front of me is the front door to the campus pub. It was moderately sized, having a large room adjacent to it linking it to the student union in place of a second floor. I usually note that it's always pretty packed, which is one of the reasons why I've never visited.

However right now, it was only partially filled, and I can hear the members of my group in the adjacent room. Castor and I file through to drop our bags off first and that's when Albert noticed me (I notice he's already had half a pint of some drink or another…) and half yells primarily to Castor, but also to make a point to the rest of the group; "You finally managed to convince him then! Well done that man!", to which I noted there was a subtle passing of something between several people. Some of these people looked happy to see me and others, less so.

I try to ignore this and make my way back to the smaller part of the building where the bar is with Castor.

"Castor, why do I get the feeling that I was just the source of a bet?" I ask once out of earshot, then turn back to look at him once in the queue.

He looks nervous all of a sudden, slightly ashamed too. I think I've hit the nail on the head.

"Well uh, a couple of people didn't think that I could get you to at least come down…so thats how it kind of formed, last week here."

"Nice to know I'm a source of amusement for you guys…" I say derogatorily. That's reminiscent of past days…

"Well you're not exactly a social bird and people wonder why. And it is also university, maturity levels have hit an all time low for some people."

I don't even reply with words. Just; "ehhhh."

Background chatter fills the void between us until Castor says; "Well come on then, so why aren't you one for socialising?"

Pushy. "Like you said, I'm not a social bird." Is my answer. Simple and true, nothing more needs to be said.

"Fair enough. How did you find the exam?" He asks the question a little too quickly, as if trying to change the subject.

"Gods, don't even go there…"

"Glad to see you're human under that shell of yours, we all struggled I think."

"That one in particular about resistance, that just killed me."

It's at this point the bar frees up and we're next. I get a Berk Pride and a bowl of chips to absorb some of the alcohol. A clear head would be lovely for the rest of the day.

Castor comes away with a tankard of some cider looking liquid. As we make our way back to the others we try not to bump into anyone, as it has gotten slightly busier since we entered.

The effect of alcohol on some people is extraordinary. Referring to Albert once again, he has now opened a pad up and filled up the equivalent of an A3 sheet of paper with different equations, all the meanwhile ranting on about our exam.

I sit silently and listen for a few minutes, until theres a lull, as which point I (surprising even me) say out loud;

"Albert you surprise me. In lesson you talk about nothing other than women, food and then back to women again. I was half expecting that to get worse when drinks were brought into the mix."

He looks at me curiously, as do everyone else. As Fishlegs would probably put it, 'plus one thousand embarrassment.'

"You can speak!" He exclaims first, followed by "what's wrong with what I talk about?"

"Nothing, just making an observation."

"An excellent observation then Mr. Holmes!"

"It was an easy deduction Dr. Watson."

"Perhaps you could deduce the answer to this maths problem then?"

I sigh, which goes unnoticed by everyone else. "Alright then, pass it here."

It's one of the questions which I think (hope might be a better word) I got right, but I notice several other people lean in at the same time. The working I have in front of me is nothing like what I did, so I opened up a new page and then recalled what I had written.

"You know…I think he's right." Someone said when I had finished and passed it back to be scrutinised.

"I'd better be. I would like the marks for the headache I put into that…" I respond.

"Yeah, he's substituted the previous part of the question in and solved it from there, rather than just trying to solve it in the first instance…"

"Oh is that what you're supposed to do?"

"So it would seem."

"Hmmm."

While they're all pouring over the paper, I feel quite proud (not that I would ever tell anyone that) and take a small sip of the bitter stuff. I glance at my phone and see that we've barely made a dent in the amount of time left before we have to return. Is this what people do when they socialise?

It was at this moment that several females happened to walk in, causing the eyeballs of several people around me to bulge in their sockets. I take a glance myself before turning back around and rolling my eyes. It's almost like they've never seen a woman before, or at least not in a long time.

And so they start talking in low voices, who they think is hottest or whatever, which goes on obnoxiously for a good couple of minutes. That is until my lack of doing anything catches an eye.

"Any input from your corner there Haddock?" Castor says to me.

"No input from here." I reply back.

This time it's the loud Albert who booms across the table, seemingly speaking before thinking;

"Nothing at all? Nothing to say about the fine ladies behind you? Why not? Are you gay?"

And there goes the 'g' word. Definitely one of the long list of reasons why I don't socialise.

"No Albert, I am not gay. Just not interested."

"Well why not!?" he demands. Again with the obnoxious. "You're what? 18? Should be having the time of your life!"

"For some, maybe." I say, shrugging my shoulders. More beer required. Thankfully my glass is still mainly full.

"Each to their own?"

I nod; "Each to their own." Hopefully thats the last to be said on the topic. I hadn't told them why I was actually not particularly interest in the women. And yes it has something to do with a certain blonde.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

It's been a little while since I've spoken with my father, so we've scheduled to speak tonight. Tonight being right about now.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I'm sitting at my desk writing a report on fly-by-wire systems in aircraft, and my phone starts ringing. Dad.

"Good evening son!" He booms through the small speaker. So loud that I pull the phone away from my face in pain and instantly halve the volume.

"Fine dad, I'm fine. How was the month long business trip?" He does them from time to time. This meant that he was away when Astrid decided to talk to my mother about the level of sugar in my coffee. So fingers crossed mum had forgotten to tell him…

"You know how these things go, pencil pushing bureaucrats. Won't agree to anything unless something is in it or them. However theres something I wish to speak to you about son."

'Oh Thor', I think to myself, 'Here we go…'

"Nothing happens in this family without me hearing about it."

Perhaps I should reply something?

"When were you thinking of telling me about that girl?"

I facepalmed. Loudly. Dad must have heard it the other end because his laugh came through the phone.

"I've been waiting for this! All these years without a single friend and now you've got loads of them! One of them is even a girl!"

Ouch. Thanks dad I didn't want to get the burn cream out anytime soon.

"Dad you do know that more than half of the university population is female right?" I say. Is it a bit late to attempt some damage control?

"Then you should have no problem getting a girlfriend then eh?" Where was my mother when you needed her the most?

"Yeah uh dad thats not quite how things work…" I say. This is going to be a long night…

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **So. There's another chapter done. I had planned to be almost finished by this time when I started but well…that clearly hasn't happened. I would love to update this more often but I'm sort of struggling for what to put. Like I know where I want to go with this and I have an actual plot laid out but it's everything in between thats making this difficult for me.**

 **Mark Andrew; If by 'cliffies' you mean cliffhangers, then sorry! I have at least a couple heavy ones planned :D hehehe. Yep! 'Across the pond', is still in use (I use it myself, if that counts?) I apologise if some of the terms I use confuse you, I can explain them if you (or anybody for that matter) wishes. For reference, the Haddock family are exceptionally tall people (vikings generally were huge). Hiccup himself is 6"4', however Astrid is no dwarf either at 5"11'.**

 **Thank you for reading, see you next time :)**

 **Date of Upload: 24/03/2016**


	18. Chapter 18 - Test Drive

**LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

 **CHAPTER 18 - TEST DRIVE**

 **Previously** \- One exam down, numerous to go. Hiccup finds himself properly socialising for once, only to be followed by an embarrassing call from his father.

 **No excuses for not having done it. I just haven't. I do hope this (longer) chapter makes up for it :)**

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"So then. Have any of you flown before?" Said the flight instructor. He was a tall man, broad shouldered with dark hair. How he managed to fit into a Scuttleclaw **[1]** back when he was a Berk Navy pilot I'll never know.

I tentatively raised my hand, along with Sydney. We came down in one of the university's minibuses, 12 of us in total. I discovered he'd been flying for years now, having a private pilots licence (PPL) **[2]** already for a while on small rotary wing aircraft. Now he wanted to do fixed wing as well.

Lucky me, I have a question directed at me;

"Rotary, fixed wing or gliding?"

"Um, all three." Is my face like a turnip yet?

"Oh really?" Before his voice had a rough note to it, like he didn't really care or got out the wrong side of the bed this morning I couldn't tell. Now though, it sounded like he was genuinely curious. Please don't ask me what I've been in, I don't want to one-up everybody else…

"What you been in?"

Great. Right take a deep breath and; "Well, er, rotary was in a Tide Glider, fixed wing in a Night Terror and the glider was a Viking." **[3]**

"Well rounded then. PPL on any?"

I shake my head, "No, just AEF."

"Alrighty then. Well moving on to the meat and potatoes of your first day here, we've not got a boring video for you all to watch but instead have this nice mockup of a seat with a 5-point harness for you all to sit in and pretend your plane is on fire. Yes, you will have to use your imagination for this and yes you are not going flying until I am satisfied that you will safely escape a plane. Am I understood?"

He was met with a wall of silence. I know he's expecting a verbal reaction from us, however.

"Perhaps an easier question, raise your hand if you don't understand what I want you all to do?" He said, annoyance creeping into his voice. This appears to be a man who is easily angered.

No hands are raised, and he moves on.

It's at this time that I feel a tap on my shoulder, and another man in a jumpsuit is beckoning me to follow. I look forward back to the front and the flight instructor motioned for me to go. Great, now everyone's looking at me…

Thankfully I'm sitting at the back so there's no chairs or people to move. This person is dressed in a dark green jumpsuit and a pair of chevrons on his shoulders denoting a rank of officer cadet. The base officer rank in the air force, I think he's a University Air Squadron **[4]** cadet? Either way, he's not heavily built like the flight instructor. Tall yes, but not resembling a brick wall.

"It is Howard, right? I got the right guy?" He says once we're outside.

"Yep, that's me."

"Good, I'm Sam. Right to cut a long story short we noticed earlier on your paperwork that you wanted to go rotary wing on the pilot studies module. Are you sure that still what you wish to do?" He looks me in the eye and I sense some hesitation on his behalf, like he has something to tell me.

"Yeah, I've wanted to fly them for a long time. Why? Is there a problem…?"

"Unfortunately there was an accident involving the Terrible Terror and the Razorwhip a few weeks back, which the pilots walked from thankfully. Now since so few actually come through to learn how to fly helicopters and you're the only one who wants to do it this year, the economics board" (sarcastic roll of eyes) "have only decided to replace the Razorwhip, and haven't confirmed that the Terror is coming back."

I give him a blank stare. I can see myself making a grave later marked "Hopes and Dreams". As usual, Sod's law strikes again. The one year I come to learn to fly helicopters, they crash.

"So why wasn't I told about this? I didn't just nearly double my first years' tuition fees on a non-refundable module just to be told I can't do it anymore." I'd better start thinking how I'm going to explain this to dad. Oh how fun.

Sam's getting more nervous by the minute I observe; blinking more often and breaking eye contact every few seconds.

"Well until we know if we're getting another Terror, which should be within a week or two, you're free to stay with the fixed wing group. The first month is the same principles of flight school anyway. If it turns out that we're not replacing it, you can either stay flying planes or be refunded and fly nothing." He said quickly, almost forgetting to breathe.

Way to put me on the spot. "If the Terror comes back then I think I will transfer to it. If it doesn't…then…I think I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. How will I know if there's another one or not?"

"Right, I'll tell the airfield commander who'll relay that to who needs to know. And you should get an email about it. The economics board for the uni are a bunch of dicks so I'm really sorry you haven't heard about this until now. They call all the shots around here, especially over the airfield. We're their most expensive asset."

I shrug my shoulders; "There's no reason for you to apologise, it's not your fault."

It's the first small smile he's shown me; "Well I'd best be going and you need to go back and learn how to use the parachute or you can't fly."

"I've learned to use it three times before, don't think it'll take long to relearn how to pull a cord" I grin.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I've been sitting outside a tiny hut a small distance from the runway for the past 10 minutes, waiting for my turn to go up. It's been far too long since I have set foot on a runway, with a heavy thump of the twin rotor Stormcutter practising in the distance and the smell of aviation fuel heavy in the air. No better sound than that of a jet engine going from idle to full throttle in seconds.

Sydney expressed confusion at why I was suddenly flying in a Night Terror and not a Terrible Terror but he went up first before I could fully explain it to him.

I was finally called out of the room inside the hanger (where a crappy film I'd never heard of was playing to keep the rest of us entertained) to put on a jumpsuit and helmet. The longest jumpsuit they had fit my waist fine but was several inches short in the leg and arm. Pros of being tall.

Sitting down was also an experience. I thought the material was going to rip where my bum was, and lets not even go into detail about the state of my crotch with such a tight fit.

There are three of us at any one time sitting down. One person goes, and then we shuffle along one and wait again. I cannot remember the last time I was this excited for something.

There are four active Terrors, two flying, one waiting to go up after another lands and the final one being prepared. I just cannot stop grinning like a madman. Sure it's not a helicopter, but flying's flying, right?

"Alright Haddock, just wait for the Squadron Leader to arrive and you can go over." The ground controller called out from the hut. Every three flights the pilot changed out so they wouldn't exceed their monthly flying hours.

As if on queue, the pilot arrived and waved me over. I leapt up and tried to stop the over-enthusiasm from showing.

"Right then, Haddock, I hear you've flown in one of these before so how about we take it for a proper spin?" He shouts to overcome other engines. "Might not be like the old Nadder **[5]** I used to fly but we can certainly push her some."

So I've been partnered with an ex-fighter pilot who used to fly at three times the speed of sound on a regular basis. Maybe today won't turn out to be such a bad day after all.

Another Terror is just leaving for the runway while we are approaching the last one;

"Remember to use the root of the wing **[6]** to get to the cockpit,foot path" he said, not having to shout anymore as we are the only plane (or helicopter for that matter) within a fair distance.

I use the ladder to climb onto the very clearly labelled and footpath on the wing while the pilot went around to make sure the thing is safe to, and would actually fly. A person can grow old waiting for the preflight checks to be done, but we were ready in three minutes. It didn't take me long either to slide in through the canopy, strap into the five-point harness and then adjust my seat.

By time I was done, the pilot jumped in (literally) and started checking more things. I watch as his eyes jump around the dash and murmurs to himself. In the distance, a Terror has just landed and is making its way back to the parking bay here.

"Right then, Haddock, I'm Squadron Leader George Smith. Call me George, don't bother with 'sir' and we'll have a good time hmm?" He rattled off like a machine gun. I'm not sure I've ever met such a British person. He has the full handlebar moustache and accent to go with it. I wouldn't be surprised if the man drank a pint of beer with every meal and praised the queen every night before bed to a cup of tea.

"Yes, uh, George."

"Excellent. Right, I've primed the engine and all we need to do is turn it on. You know how to do that?"

I point to the red flip switch in the centre of the dash appropriately labelled 'start', "This one."

"Good. Punch it."

I flipped the switch and there was a pause, before the engine (quite literally) spluttered into life. And now we wait for more pre-flight checks to be done.

Which didn't take at all that long.

" _Tower this is Terror 1-4, awaiting clearance to taxi to 34R_ " I heard George say over the radio. I couldn't hear him normally through a combination of the sound dampeners in my helmet and the engine droning through.

" **Terror 1-4, Tower, permission granted hold short of 34R until further notice out.** " Came the reply. It was a blunt response.

The engine got louder as we set off from our parking bay. I looked up at the sky to check (again) if any clouds had rolled in to stop us from having to impose a flight ceiling. None had.

"So then Haddock, what've you done in one of these before?" George said as we slowly taxied parallel to the runway. One of the other Terrors was just taking off which meant we would have to wait a few minutes for another to land before going up ourselves."

I vividly remember the last time I went up, it easily being one of the best things I'd ever done. "I've done wing overs, a loop and rolls **[7]**. And the pilot let me do the landing." I said, hoping we could do another loop in particular.

"The landing eh? We'll see how well you do before doing it again."

We turned to face the runway and stopped, the engine slowing to save fuel. Turning it off would mean having to do a load of checks again to be sure nothing broke.

" _Tower, Terror 1-4, holding short of 34R awaiting clearance for takeoff over._ "

" **Terror 1-4, message received. Out**."

"And now we wait. Non-Existent cloud base so we can fit a loop or two in. Maybe try a split-s. Or perhaps you're more for commercial airliners and we can go as high as possible with this one?" George's voice crackled over the radio.

"Mhmm, definitely aerobatics. It's been far too long since I've last done a loop."

"I was hoping you'd say that" he chuckled, "wish I still had my Nadder, take everyone up to 50,000 feet in less time than it would take to make a cup of tea." I heard the longing in his voice.

"It would be expensive to keep all the different sizes of spacesuit for everyone though, wouldn't it?" Nadders could easily reach 80,000 feet and required the use of a suit to keep the human body pressurised, fed with oxygen and protected from the sun's radiation.

"Can't say I'm not happy that you don't know what a Nadder is. You just generally know different types of aircraft or you want to be a fighter pilot?" He asked curiously, right arm resting on the canopy and left resting on the centre console. I'm currently watching a Stormcutter practice maneuverers in the distance.

"Well I would really like to be a fighter pilot - Night Furies specifically - but I'm a walking medical disaster so I'm just settling for mechanical tekkie." I summarise, now watching another Terror come in to land.

"Night Furies, the only thing that could beat me in speed, altitude and the ability to loiter. It's a big mistake getting rid of them, even if it does mean more Nadders to take their place."

" **Terror 1-4 this is** tower **, you are cleared for takeoff.** Wind **is south-south-west 12 knots no prospect of a cloud base forming. Have a nice flight tower out.** " The tower interrupted, prompting George to take the brakes off and let us roll out onto the runway. We lined up and I heard;

"So then, ready to go?"

Before I'd been given a chance to reply, the engine has already gone to maximum power and we're already almost at takeoff speed. I look at the g reading and see I'm on 2.5…now feeling 3 times the force of gravity…

Oof!

"Take short sharp breaths! Squeeze your legs and you won't black out!"

The dial was now reading 6 g's and as far as I could tell were going straight up. I was also loosing my peripheral vision since the blood was pooling in my legs, away from my head. Perhaps now it's a good time to do as I'm told. I know the basic principles of resisting a blackout; squeeze legs and bum like you're trying to hold back diahorria from Hel, while taking a breath quick enough to fill your lungs in half a second.

I get to two breaths in and I can begin to see clearly again. I notice that we've stopped ascending and have actually started going backwards. Though George quickly did a micro loop so the nose was now facing the ground, before gaining speed and levelling out. I am so happy I haven't had much to eat today.

"Now you can say you've experienced a maximum performance takeoff" George chuckled. "Most people throw up just on take off, let alone the turn around at the apex."

"You're going to have to try harder than that to get to see what's in my stomach." I said. Which was true, all I felt there was an unpleasant force pulling my stomach down. The main problem was going to be to try and stay conscious."

"Ah well looks like I won't be seeing that today then. Can't do anything more than 6.5g otherwise the wings'll be ripped off."

I give a silent sigh of relief. I don't think I could deal with another high g load.

"You said you've done a loop before, want to try again?"

"Yes!" I half shouted, instantly feeling sorry for his ears.

"Good, I like the enthusiasm. Take her up to ten-thou. You have control."

My stomach dropped harder than when we initially took off, and quickly put my hands on the centre stick. It was a bit wobbly getting up to ten thousand feet but George didn't intervene. Instead, he just sat back and put his hands behind his head.

I notice at this point another Terror below me and to the left, travelling in the other direction. It wasn't close enough to pose any form of problem, but it wasn't far away enough to really ignore either.

"George there's a terror down on my nine, heading back towards the airfield."

He leaned over me to get a look; "Alright, thanks. Not a problem. Now I'm going to pull back on the stick and do a loop. Hold on to it and remember how far I pull it back, you're going to do it. Be careful not to resist me. Ready?"

I lessened my hold on the stick, and George immediately pulled back. It wasn't a tight loop, but still enough to easily disorientate someone. I looked up to see the ground through the canopy where there would usually be the sky and reminded myself why I wanted to fly. This feeling right here.

Once we had levelled out, George released his stick and I reaffirmed the hold on my own one. I waited a few seconds for confirmation of doing it myself;

"Well, what are you waiting for? This plane won't loop itself."

Fine then. I made sure we were level and pulled back on the stick, making sure it was almost an exact copy of the one performed just prior.

Again, we levelled out.

"That was one of the smoothest first loops I've ever felt. No wobbles coming out and we're still following the same heading as we were going in. Well done."

I wanted to correct him and say it was technically my third, but let it slide. It was the only loop I had done unassisted though."

"So how would you do a roll?"

"Just a normal roll?"

"Just a normal roll." He confirmed.

"I would pitch the nose up by about 10 degrees and then push the stick hard to the left or right. No rudder and we should finish up level again." I said, turning to look at him.

He cracked a wide smile and said; "Show me."

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

I have no idea how long I was up in the air for. I didn't look at the time hopping into the plane and did the same leaving. But it felt like a lot longer than the 20 minutes allotted to me.

George came around the plane, only being allowed to fly me before filling his monthly flying hours up.

"You would be mad not to apply for pilot. I know many experienced pilots who aren't half as steady pulling loops, or even landing."

I stopped and just stared at him. "But my back, history of asthma and amazing eyesight don't exactly make me an ideal candidate…?"

George cocked an eyebrow; "A good reference can outweigh that."

"But…I…you…" I spluttered. So many questions!

He raised his hand to silence me, which I grudgingly did. "Now's not the time. Are you continuing your PPL with planes next year or still want to go with helicopters?"

"Planes." I said, barely waiting for him to have finished asking his question before answering. To hell with helicopters, I wanted to know more.

George chuckled, "Well then, I guess I'll be seeing a lot more of you over the next few years then." He then made to move off.

"Wait! You can't just say something like that and run off! I have questions!"

"And I'd be happy to answer them if I had the time. But I now have to explain to the airfield commander why I took someone up on a maximum performance takeoff. Not that it's much of an issue. See you next time Haddock."

I remained mute and watched him walk away. Suddenly realising that I was just standing in the middle of an active airfield, I walked back to the hut to return my helmet and jumpsuit, the walk reminding me how damned small the latter was.

The three people waiting outside stared at me the whole walk back, but I was too deep in thought to notice. So a good reference can outweigh the scoliosis, the (admittedly non-existent but still diagnosed) asthma and eyesight which is as useful as a chocolate teapot? What did he mean by a good reference?

"Earth to Howard, I still need your helmet." The stockman laughed. Turns out I'd just taken the jumpsuit off and almost walked out with the helmet still on.

"Sorry…" I said meekly, really not meaning to almost steal a two grand helmet.

The man laughed again, "By all means, walk out with it. I'm sure the military police at the gate would have a field day coming after you for it."

"…Thanks." I said, putting the helmet on the table and walking out again. I wound up back at the briefing room, where a different film was playing but this time muted.

I was immediately attacked by Sydney and other people, each of who asking a different question. I jump back and bash my head (on the already low) door frame with a resounding bang. After I finally plonk myself into a chair, I answer the resounding questions; why did my plane go up like a rocket and how did I manage to get a flight over twice as long as the allotted 20 minutes.

Still massaging the back of my head (thanks for all the sympathy guys), I answer with; "Well the guy wanted to see if I could hold my stomach down first, and then we just did lots of rolls and loops."

"Really? That was it?"

"Yep" I answered. I do wonder though if I was given this pilot because of the helicopter mixup. I'm not really complaining though.

I keep replaying what happened, and now the aftermath of what George told me. There's nothing he can do about the asthma, I need to be off the register for 5 years before I can even apply to the air force, and I'm currently 3 and a bit years in. About the back…he would need a physical training instructor to say I have unrestricted movement.

Physical training instructor…isn't that what Astrid wants to do? Berk's PTI's all fall under one group, army, navy or air force. Doesn't matter which arm she signs up to, I could still request her. I grin, things seemed to be falling into place.

If I could pull this off…

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

"Hello son. What brings you to be calling me at two in the afternoon?"

I have since gotten back from the airfield and have the afternoon off. Lying on my bed with my laptop on my well…lap.

"Hey, dad. Well you know I had my first flight today…"

"Oh, so you did. How did the helicopter flight go?"

I cringed inside, thinking how best to explain that things didn't quite go to how they were planned. Considering he's not overly fond of unexpected changes.

"Well, er, I didn't quite have a go in a helo. It crashed and since I was the only one who wanted to go rotary they haven't decided if they want to get a new one or not, so I went up in a plane instead." I summarised.

"But that's not why I called you," I said quickly before he could begin to get mad. "The pilot was ex-air force, Nadder. He said he would be willing to write me a reference for them to consider me for a pilot role, I was wondering if you knew much about the process…?" I asked hopefully.

There was a poorly concealed sigh from the other end. Meaning he was either thinking or didn't like what he was hearing. I believed the latter, turns out it was the former.

"For him to say that he would have needed to of been an instructor, or someone high enough to instruct the air force to give you a proper inspection instead of instantly dismissing your application. I did it once with one of my armourers, specialising in heavy weaponry. He would test out the old 30mm RARDEN cannons after maintenance for us and was putting 6 rounds through the same hole at 1200 meters. He transferred to the commandos because his talent was being wasted with me as a mech. If I recall correctly we came first for the next 8 years in international competitions with him in a RARDEN-equipped Scimitar."

"Right…" I say.

"Just be careful son, referencing does not make it an automatic yes no matter how glowing it is."

"I know dad, it's just…I've kind of accepted that I'd only be able to fly recreationally or commercially and I'm now being offered a chance to do what I've always really wanted to do. I just need to speak to Astrid now and ask about PT…"

I hear him chuckle unabashedly, making me stop.

"What?" I ask. Though I think I know what.

"I was wondering how long it would take before you mentioned her." I can tell he is grinning ear to ear with jest.

"Really? Dad? I'm planning my future here and all you got from that is that a friend of mine does PT?" Talk about typical.

"Not at all son. Just looking out for you is all."

A mental facepalm ensues. "Well, dad. Thank you so much for your valuable input. I believe I must be going now so I will talk again later. Good bye."

"Talk again soon son." Is that him barely able to contain a laugh?

I end the call and rest my head back against the wall. That man is completely unbearable sometimes. While I prefer it to how he used to be, always disappointed and wishing I was more like him; big, butch and with extra muscle on the side and not a talking fishbone, this other side is again; also unbearable.

My mind wonders to Astrid and what I should tell her. She'll probably be overjoyed at the prospect of being able to push me even further. My best time for the full 2.4k is 11:55, which turns me into an incoherent mess, only being able to speak one word every breath.

Astrid'll likely be busy right about now, I'll call her later. I get up and pick up an old book onground school from my desk. Now's as good a time as any to get back into knowing how to inspect and start up a Night Terror.

* * *

 **LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF**

* * *

 **[1] - Scuttleclaw is based on the Harrier jump jet for it's hovering ability. She was an absolute bitch to fly, just like baby Scuttleclaws!**  
 **[2] - The PPL is the licence required in the UK to be allowed to fly solo.**  
 **[3] - Tide Glider = Sea King/SH-3, Night Terror = Grob Tutor and the Viking is…a Viking.** Yes **there is a glider called the Viking.**  
 **[4] - Basically RAF Volunteer Reservists (RAFVR) who are at uni. Effectively training units for the RAF. Many cadets move on from the UAS into the RAF, but it is not a requirement.**  
 **[5] - Deadly Nadder = MiG-25, top speed of 3.2x the speed of sound (which kills the engines).**  
 **[6] - The wing root is the part of the wing which connects to the rest of the aircraft. As such, it is usually the thickest and strongest part of said wing.**  
 **[7] - I recommend googling these and looking at images of how these are performed.**

 **Would any of you believe the most difficult part of this chapter is matching dragon names to real life aircraft based on size and capabilities? (Like the Scuttleclaw and Harrier, for example).**

 **Thank you for reading :)**


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